America Banning TikTok Because It Is Chinese Ironically Emulates China


Can anyone else see the irony with the TikTok ban?


Our standards for proper and ethical governance by the geriatric, lead-infused minds who have perpetually ruled over us these past few prolonged decades are, not surprisingly, already set quite low on the bar. Throwing the middle class under the bus in new tax law reforms that socialize the rich while capitalizing on the middle class and poor? That’s been the new norm for years! Writing off taxes for the wealthy while drowning the poor in more and more debt for profits? Pshh, old news now, my friends. Only when we literally think it can’t possibly get any worse with them in office do they exceed our expectations.

Introducing the TikTok Ban, buzzing all over today’s news. Not only are the poor people in dire straits now, but the wealthy influencers and businesses on TikTok are, too. More than half of Americans use this popular social media app to browse, and a good chunk of those are potential buyers for American TikTok shops. Another portion of these TikTok-browsing Americans can and already have cut a nice slice of wealth for themselves through viral content creation.

Take CaseOh (pronounced like the Tex-Mex queso cheese) for example, an Arkansas Twitch streamer who recently claimed a spot in the wealthy sector of America when he went viral using TikTok as his medium to fame. CaseOh had a dead end job as a low-paying landscaper before he made his big break on Twitch. He was poor and hungry and tired enough to want out of his harrowing landscaping job. But without clips from his streams going viral on TikTok, he along with many others in similar situations would be filtered out from what remains of the American Dream. Funnily enough, the dying American Dream has been resuscitated somewhat because of TikTok, a Chinese company (emphasis on the Chinese part).

With our feckless US government utterly paranoid about China taking over the world, this  self-fulfilling prophecy could very well come to fruition. After all, it’s come to this point in history where the American government is emulating the Chinese government, banning an online resource used by over half its citizens. How is this any different from what China already does to its own citizens? That something so dreadful, something we once thought could only occur across the ocean, in lands and nations far removed from our own, is now making headway towards us is beyond alarming. It is unfathomable for America, the land of the free.

What will stop them from banning other forms of media from here on out, using the same exact method they used here? All you need to do, the sociopathic deceivers in Congress have figured out, is package all of these extra little laws into one giant law package, and then force the Executive of All Evil Allowances, the US President, to sign them all into our reality! That door has finally creaked open. Will it ever close again?

I shudder to think about this alternate American storyline. “No way will Americans sit here and allow our country to turn into a New Age China, banning whatever they please on the Internet!” I’ve been internally arguing to myself all day.  This new dystopian America painted in my head has such a weight to it, it feels that simply thinking about it for too long could materialize that which is imagined into a dark new reality.

I hope for all our sakes that TikTok wins the lawsuit when it comes time to take this to court. Because if it doesn’t go well in the courts, what then? Would it be up to the American people to set things straight if all else fails? Would Americans actually be incited to take action if it came down to this? (What could we do as regular American people?)

We the Peasants who do nothing but complain on social media for a few days about matters as salient as this, before moving our fleeting attention along to other ‘pressing’ matters, such as Taylor Swift’s private jet plane mileage? With the attention spans of toddlers in this world of high-speed internet, it’s not like we’re going to do anything impactful about it to stop them. We might organize a few protests here and there where we whine and cry about it, elicit more road rage by blocking off popular traffic routes as we march along the streets and highways in temporary unison, but what will come of this?

According to my (informal) Psychology Manual, psychological reactance over the loss of a known right is a strong motivator for action. This was recently observed when an uptick of young people (finally) went out and voted during the midterms of 2022 after seething over the overturning of Roe v. Wade. This did in fact enact minor change, something to applaud. But that was a small ripple. We require a much bigger current to effect change on a large scale. Will this TikTok ban finally rally the young, depressed, and unmotivated to vote more consistently and organize political movements?

The way I see it, those who govern us don’t use one hand to slap us across the cheek, they now use both. Because why not? They’ve been getting away with it for years, pushing the envelope further and ever further. We allow them to treat us this way. How long before we stop enabling this abuse, before the envelope is pushed too far?

In a world of bread and circuses, where the bread prices are inflated, the circus is our White House, and the regular American people are getting clowned on, where is the hope for revolutionary change?

 

A Psychology Manual to Life


Below are some of the most prominent life lessons I’ve learned from psychology. They are psychology lessons applied to real life. In a way, they are a psychology manual to life.


 

The Self-fulfilling Prophecy:

This phenomenon is the first on the list for a psychology manual because it has to be one of the most commonly repeated forms of human behavior in the world. I see people doing it all the time. Every age group is guilty of it. And it affects everyone’s personal relationships when it happens. Consider these common scenarios:

  1. Have you ever been invited to an outing with people you don’t know that well and felt like you wouldn’t vibe with them? When you went to said outing, you discovered, yup, I really don’t vibe with these people, and ended up having a miserable time until you left the party early?
  2. Are you a possessive partner who constantly frets about your SO cheating on you? Then one day, your fear comes true. Your SO has an affair. Or they leave you and immediately start seeing someone else, a “retroactive affair” to the more suspicious sorts.
  3. Do you believe your partner won’t do something you asked them to do correctly, and then lo and behold! They mess up just as you expected?

In each of these cases, the underlying theme is the circular workings of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here’s a model of how the self-fulfilling prophecy works:

 

psychology manual to life

 

You can see from my lovely, little self-made infographic here that there is a cycle of behavior which repeats between two parties. You (the first party) assume someone (the other party) is a certain type of way. You then behave the way you feel towards the second party. That second party member reacts to your behavior and actions towards them accordingly. They treat you some type of way, because YOU are treating them some type of way! This fallaciously “confirms” both parties’ beliefs about the other, which then causes the same type of interaction to happen between them over and over again.

Let’s use the first example from above to insert into this self-fulfilling prophecy model. Watch the magic unfold when you do:

 

psychology manual to life

 

Can you conceptualize how making assumptions about an event before it even happens could “pre-set” your attitudes and behaviors towards it? By the time the actual event comes around and you’re “forced” to go, your presuppositions have already influenced your mind to behave a certain way. When you venture into the event in a sour mood, others take notice of your ‘tude or stiffness, and find ways to avoid you like the plague the entire time. This only confirms your belief about others and events like these (that they suck), which will only hurt your expectations about future parties and party goers all the more. And so the self-fulfilling prophecy continues.

Another common occurrence for self-fulfilling prophecies involves the jealous or possessive partner.

 

psychology manual to life 3

This jealous type of person will constantly question your commitment to the relationship. They’ll barrage you with questions; pry into your day to day routines and correspondences with others; or accuse you of cheating whenever you dare interact with someone else. If they are not hostile and aggressive and upfront with you about it, they’ll instead repress these emotions and hide their true feelings around you. These passive aggressive types will grow emotionally distant from you. And when these hidden feelings burn too hot with resentment inside, they will eventually rear their ugly heads in horrifically impressive ways.

Sometimes, crazily enough, these jealous partners are the first to have an affair, precisely because they accuse their partner of being unfaithful all the time! Might as well cheat, she might think, since he’s probably cheating on me. Sometimes these self-fulfilling prophecies run deep. Can you see how terribly this circular type of thinking can backfire?

In either case, would you want to be around someone who treats you cruelly or passive aggressively? Would you care for someone who cannot express their true feelings for you or reveal their vulnerabilities to you in a healthy manner? Can you truly trust someone who cannot wholly open up to you about their insecurities and faults? Most people do not.

So, the bigger question is, What can we do to fix this circular thinking? If we want to improve ourselves and our relationships with others, how do we prevent our self-fulfilling prophecies about other people and things from happening at all? 

The answer is quite simple. You break the cycle. Somewhere on that cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy—anywhere technically speaking— you must break the habits which hold the prophecy in one unified piece. If you can shatter any part of the self-fulfilling prophecy, you can break free from the cycle.

So let’s say in example number one above, where you’re hypothetically invited to a night out with some new people, you start to feel anxious about the whole ordeal as per usual. Let’s say instead of allowing yourself to think all the negative thoughts that go along with this narrowed mindset, you instead view the experience in a more positive light. Well, you might start thinking, I might as well try one night out with these new coworkers of mine. I could just relax with a couple of drinks, hang out in the background, chat with a few people, and then leave! It doesn’t have to be too serious and I might have something in common with one of them. 

With this new mindset, you change your perspective on the party you dreaded just a few days earlier. Your energy and vibes will be different when you get to the party. Knowing you can leave whenever you want and feeling little pressure to engage a certain type of way with these new people, you may even find yourself unwinding and feeling more comfortable in your own skin. You might even get along with some of your coworkers and stay out longer than you expected. Such is the power of breaking the cycle of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Of course, the other party members can also break the cycle for you, technically speaking. Let’s say your energy and vibes didn’t change when you went to that party. Let’s say you remained your usual self at parties, sulking in a corner, judging others as they, according to the self-fulfilling prophecy, also judged you. Then someone from the party approaches you. Your self-fulfilling prophecy might have hindered you from engaging with this person to your utmost ability, but this person pays no mind to your inhibited behaviors.

Let’s say they jump right into a conversation with you that is so bright and cheerful, it dazzles you. Suddenly you feel your mood uplifted, and you may even crack a smile and a joke with this individual. Without even trying, this wonderful person came into your life and swept you off your feet in a blur. How do you think you’d feel after such a wonderful encounter with a person like this? A little more optimistic about parties? A little more hopeful about people in general?

This quite literally happened to me years ago, on a bus ride home from Washington D.C. Exhausted after a long week of work and Judo training, I wanted nothing more than to sleep the whole ride home. I was certainly not in the mood for engaging in small-talk with strangers…or so I thought.

Suddenly this man, Jesse, emerged in my life at the perfect time. Whilst I was thinking negatively about the certain craziness going on in this world, Jesse stumbled into the seat beside me to spread love, joy, humor, and inspiration. His warm, bubbly personality was infectious. His booming voice radiated warmth and cheer.  His words were sagaciously inspiring. He preached to me about the essentials in life: caring for others despite all the corruption and sociopathic tendencies the rulers who lead today embody. Focusing on what truly matters to make the world a better place for everyone.

This stranger of mine, he really let it shine that day. What I had hoped would be a peaceful ride home without any disturbances was, fortunately, quite the opposite. Wisdom and pure love beamed from this kind stranger. Jesse shattered my self-fulfilling prophecy about talking to strangers on a long bus ride home. I departed that bus a different person than when I had entered. All because of a special stranger who pierced right through my glass wall of self-fulfilling prophecies to warm my heart and touch my soul.

How many times has this happened to you in your real life? Where you felt some type of way on a given day, or just felt like being left alone when, suddenly, someone barges into your life with their animated gestures and bright smiles. They start riddling off some beautiful poetry to you, or they may say something that lifts your mood and spirit immediately. This person exits at their figurative bus stop, but they remain in your thoughts the whole way back on your bus ride home. I sincerely hope you all experience the beauty of meeting strangers like this one day.

Inspirational supporting side stories aside, every once in a while we may find our  self-fulfilling prophecies melted away by the warmth of those around us. Such was the case with my story about Jesse. Realistically speaking though, these are unicorn chances in the real world. More times than not, they won’t be there to break down your prophecy walls for you. These special strangers might pop up in your life from time to time to remind you of the beauty of living, but they will exit as abruptly as they came. In other words, nine times out of ten, it’ll be up to you to recognize the walls you have up, and to figure out a way to tear them down—to break the cycle—so that you may find true inner peace and foster harmony with those around you.

But what if you’re the recipient of someone else’s self-fulfilling prophecy? What can you do then? Do as Jesse did for me, and hold others in a warmer light. By breaking your own self-fulfilling prophecies, you can break others,’ too. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Or something like that. 😉

Recap: To wrap up important life lesson number one from this psychology manual to life: When people make assumptions about how others will behave or how certain events will proceed, they start to behave in ways that support these assumptions. This behavior consequently influences the way in which the second party feels and behaves towards them, creating a positive feedback loop known as the self-fulfilling prophecy that is quite destructive to building relationships. To prevent this from happening in your everyday life encounters with people around you, first recognize and then analyze your self-fulfilling prophecy, and then find a way to break it.


Every event preceding a traumatic experience should be re-experienced to avoid further trauma

This one sounds rather crazy, doesn’t it? How could re-experiencing an event, which produced a traumatic incident, alleviate that past trauma?  Trust me when I say it’s the infallible Truth.

Personal experience has confirmed this concept for me, but it’s the psychological literature I studied in college that initially drew me to test it out in the first place. This one research essay specifically sticks out to me as familiar to what I had learned about the processing of traumatic memories.

According to psychology literature, abstaining from the discussion of past traumatic events or even avoiding reminders of these traumatic events can actually increase your chances of a PTSD flashback or other post-traumatic, stress-related responses of the body (such as panic attacks, hypertension, and tachycardia, to name a few). By avoiding these unwelcome memories of your past traumas, you are ironically highlighting them. Under these conditions, your brain will not be able to fully process that information and “transform” it into a different form of memory that wouldn’t trigger the fight-or-flight response in your body. In other words, if past trauma isn’t properly processed in the brain to the appropriate memory system, post-traumatic flashbacks or other severe bodily responses to stress will continue until it is.

There is a lot of neuroscience and neuropsychology involved with these studies, more dense in material and esoteric in nature than what I will impart in this little psychology manual. But I will quote from this research essay some of the notable remarks that summarize this information and convey the message clearly:

By deliberately focusing attention on the content of the flashbacks, individuals can effectively recode the additional sensory information associated with periods of intense emotion into verbally accessible memory. In so doing, providing the danger has ceased, the information will acquire a context which includes temporal location in the past, cessation of immediate threat, and restoration of safety…[This depends on] the person’s willingness to attend to and process flashback content rather than distract themselves from these often unwelcome experiences. Sustained attention to flashbacks should theoretically promote information transfer and lead more rapidly to amygdala inhibition. (bolded words by me)

The amygdala is the part of the brain area involved with the body’s fight or flight response. Inhibiting the amygdala’s activity in the brain would therefore reduce stress responses to danger—stress responses like PTSD flashbacks.

This research essay is basically supporting the idea that attending to traumatic memories, by allowing these memories to proceed through the brain’s memory systems unhindered, allows the mind to fully process these memories so they are no longer perceived as a present threat. Once the brain “acquires a context” for these traumatic memories as part of the past, and not the present (“temporal location in the past”), they can proceed through the brain’s memory processing system where they will be encoded as just another bad memory from the past. Once a traumatic memory is processed completely in the brain “as just another bad memory,” it will no longer trigger those highly emotionally charged responses of fear and survival that inundate so many unfortunate trauma survivors.

Now, you might ask, how exactly can you apply these findings to your day to day life as a trauma victor? The answer is in the heading of this section: Every event preceding a traumatic experience should be re-experienced to avoid further trauma.

So what does that look like in a real life situation? Let me give you a relatively common example. Have you ever met someone who abstains from alcohol entirely due to a past traumatic experience with it?

A consistently drunk parent stumbling home at night in a raging, violent stupor, for instance, will often leave a taste in the children’s mouths more bitter than the liquor which caused it to happen. This association between alcohol consumption and severely abusive behavior leaves a very impressionable mark on the children. The bruises may fade from the skin, but these unrefined memories, if left unattended to, will imprint forever in the children’s minds. In their young minds, alcohol becomes associated with violence. The children could grow up and reflexively decide to abstain from drinking alcohol entirely just to evade this unaddressed, perceived threat from their pasts.

Here’s the problem. When you abstain from that which is directly associated with your past trauma, you are essentially ingraining this unpleasant association forever in your brain. You’re forcing yourself to remember unpleasant memories every single time you evade or abstain from this association.

Let’s say a friend offers you a drink at a party and you abstain. If they ask why, you truthfully say it’s because your father was a raging, abusive alcoholic. Your friend might sympathize and lay off about it from there on out, but now the image of your abusive, alcoholic father is on your mind at a party where you’re supposed to be having a nice, relaxing time. Even if your friend hadn’t pried this information from you, you’d still be reminded of your father at this party because it is literally flowing with alcohol everywhere, which your mind has been trained to perceive as a threat.

This effect doesn’t leave at the party, either. An advertisement showcasing your father’s favored bottle of liquor could conjure the same images and trigger the same emotions. Seeing that same advertised bottle of booze on the shelves at the grocery store could unsettle you. Any alcohol-related ‘triggers’ can bring you right back to those harrowing experiences you had endured as a child with your alcoholic father. In your mind, alcohol now equals childhood abuse.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You actually can cut that link between alcohol and abuse. Remember that the psychology literature supports allowing yourself to fully feel and attend to those traumatic memories to inhibit the fight or flight response in the body. There’s one additional step to break free from trauma’s strangling grip. Create happy, new memories of the event to supersede traumatic, old ones. In the example above, this includes taking that first cautious sip of wine or beer alongside loved ones.

It might seem counterintuitive to encourage someone to drink the very substance that is bound to their traumatic past. But that glass of beer or wine in hand can and should be enjoyed with our precious loved ones, despite traumatic experiences with it from the past. It does not have to be one extreme or the other (i.e., alcoholism vs. abstinence). One (responsible) sip at a time, and we can craft a new, hoppier association with alcohol (pun very much intended).

Think of it this way. As they create more and more new memories associated with alcohol, trauma survivors will eventually have more happy memories than sad or traumatic ones. Eventually, the number of good memories associated with alcohol will outnumber the traumatic ones to such an extent that the brain will hardly, if at all, associate alcohol with abusive childhood. With that link broken, the mind will finally be able to heal and the heart will finally open up again. Trust me when I say it is possible, for I also conquered a traumatic memory relating to alcohol.

I’ll keep it short  because I already wrote a blog post similar to this  incident. In 2013, I was celebrating a hard-earned ‘A’ grade (after the curve lol) on an infamous Organic chemistry exam with friends in a college apartment dorm. We cheerfully drank to this hard-earned victory a bit too ambitiously.

Long story short, I blacked out for the first time in my entire life. I woke up that night to a colleague taking advantage of me. The hurt and betrayal was unreal. I found myself lost and stumbling through a confusing new world for months after that incident. But you know what I did the very next week after that fateful night? I took a sip of self-redemption. I willed myself to drink again, to swathe the terrible memory over with a happy one again.

At that time I had recently learned in my Memory psychology class that traumatic memories stayed traumatic because they kept being treated like they were traumatic. Instead of time eroding this traumatic memory into “just another bad memory,” it becomes the one defining memory that holds your undivided attention. It becomes the one traumatic memory which defines your life and dictates your life choices (like abstaining from alcohol) from there on out.  But why should we allow ourselves such unnecessary suffering? Why should we yield to these past experiences and subject ourselves over and over again to such distressing thoughts? Why not unlearn the trauma and relearn pleasure instead? This is what I set out to do when I decided to drink alcohol again one week after my very traumatic memory with it.

I can proudly say that I’ve successfully overcome my trial with this trauma. With the sole exception from writing this out right now, I haven’t thought about that traumatic memory for quite some time now. And even as I think about this memory while writing at this moment about it, it doesn’t deter me or trigger me in any way.  Whenever I go out with friends to drink and have a good time, the trauma doesn’t even cross my mind. And depending on my mood that day, the sight or thought of alcohol leaves either a neutral or even good impression on my mind. This is true freedom from suffering’s past.

Recap: If you wish to be liberated from your past traumas, you must be prepared to face them head on.  Confront your traumas rather than evade them. Dare yourself to experience or re-experience that which is associated with your past trauma. Take the leap (or take that sip!) and allow yourself to feel pleasure instead of pain. You deserve it.


The Confirmation Bias

 

“There is an obvious difference between impartially evaluating evidence in order to come to an unbiased conclusion and building a case to justify a conclusion already drawn.”

—Raymond S. Nickerson, Review of General Psychology

1998, Vol. 2, No. 2, 175-220

 

Ah, what good is a psychology manual without the good, ol’ confirmation bias. The concept where people have the tendency to shine light on information supporting their own hypotheses, but hold up blinders to any other information disconfirming their beliefs.

The confirmation bias is a renowned phenomenon everyone knows from somewhere in the (i)clouds of today’s social media climate. It has been the topic of many online creators’ content on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. The tribalist outbursts exchanged between those who (somehow) side with the Republicans or Democrats in the Facebook comments section of politically-charged articles, only prove it’s here to stay. In fact, it’s easier now than ever before to find any dumpster pile of misinformation to support your beliefs and opinions (confirm your own bias), while trashing all the other ones that don’t align with them.

This presents a rather interesting conundrum. How is it that the confirmation bias is so well-established in the literature and well-known among the general public, yet continues to prevail in every social setting imaginable? Wouldn’t mere awareness of this social faux pas incentivize people to avoid behaving like this?

Apparently not. From what I’ve read in the psychology literature (and what I’ve personally witnessed online and in-person), people not only fail to practice what they preach, but also fail to notice when they’re confirming their own biases. Is it intentional, habitual, or simply a cognitive deficiency of the mind that causes this?  The answer is any or all of the above, according to this psychology review. Depending on the individual’s personality, their circumstances, and even what’s at stake, the confirmation bias can be intentional or unintentional; a rarer occurrence or more habitual; due to cognitive deficiencies or not.  

In the most rare cases, the confirmation bias is used intentionally to deceive so that one may reap a benefit for oneself at everyone else’s expense. Searching only for evidence supporting that climate change is fake news so that you may continue your environmentally unfriendly business practices is a notable example of an intentional confirmation bias (commonly practiced in the neoliberal version of the United States, which has certainly not aged well by the by). Plenty of similarly intentional confirmation biases persist in society today. But are there situations where the confirmation bias occurs although not intended?

Psychology researchers would affirmatively say yes. Multitudes of studies from the linked research paper above have concluded that, nine times out of ten, the confirmation bias is actually unintentional. (How that is so will be explained down below.) The fact that people most likely confirm their own biases unintentionally isn’t cause for celebration, though.  It is certainly just as alarming not to recognize our own biases when we probably should. Ignorance may be bliss for the ones serving it, but the recipients who know better certainly don’t appreciate the dish. Intentional or not, the confirmation bias is a pain in the arse for those on the receiving end. But at least we can rest assured knowing that most people aren’t intentionally trying to commit this psychological faux pas on us.

There is a task psychologists have implemented in many different studies to demonstrate the confirmation bias among subjects. I performed this task myself in a psychology class years ago. It is called the Wason card selection task. I will recreate it below. Solve for the correct answer:

Which cards would you have to turn over in order to determine the truth or falsity of the following statement?

If a card has a vowel on one side then it has an even number on the other side.

 

psychology manual to life

Most people answer A and 4 or B and 7. (I answered the former.) The correct answer is actually a combination of the two, A and 7! When you flip over the card containing A, you can verify if the above statement is true by observing whether an even or odd number is present. An even number would confirm the statement is true, while an odd number would prove the statement false. If there is indeed an even number behind the A card, we can only be sure that the rule holds true if we also select the card containing the number 7. If there is a vowel behind the 7, only then can we be absolutely sure the statement is false. No other card combination above besides A and 7 yields this positively affirming and contrapositive coupling. In other words, to prove whether the statement above is true or false, you need both a confirming (affirming) card that proves the concept true, and a disconfirming (contrapositive) card which fails to prove the opposite is true. (See how it gets a little less intuitive in the last part? Keep that in mind.)

If you’re confused by this, that’s totally understandable. The Wason card selection task received criticism due in part to its abstractness. This card selection task is hardly applicable to real life situations. Random numbers and letters have very little meaning to us unless we give them meaning in the workforce or in our day to day lives (or if you’re into numerology, I suppose).

In the simplest terms, finding evidence to support our beliefs is just one part of the process in finding the whole and complete Truth. The strongest evidence you could hope to find for your case, however, must include the failure to find any reasonable evidence that runs counter to your hypothesis. Failing to prove the opposing side’s accuracy, through your most earnest efforts to do so, is the most favorable evidence for you. Here’s a very perfect example of why that is:

For decades now, there has been an ongoing debate on whether fats in the diet make you fat and at risk for heart disease. Numerous studies have striven to verify the truth of this statement by searching for confirming, supportive evidence (the A card) to such claims. But these studies ignored the number 7 card almost completely. They failed to search for and address evidence which could prove their premise entirely false.

Clever anthropologists worked around this issue and focused their attention on the number 7 card, by observing the diets of the last remaining hunter gatherer tribes of the world. Hunter gatherers hunt animals for their survival, and animal meat is very high in fats. By testing for the blood, muscle, and bone health of these hunter gatherers consuming high levels of animal fats in their diets regularly, these anthropologists could either confirm the “fats make you fat” claim, or fail to disconfirm the opposite (“fats make you lean).

Lo and behold, anthropologists were amazed to find that, compared to the average, modern-day human, hunter gatherers were the healthiest in bone density, musculature, and cardiovascular profiles. By recording the stunningly healthy profiles of all the hunter gatherers and comparing them to their more civilized counterparts’, this 7 card experiment failed to confirm the fats make you fat statement true. More importantly, it also failed to disconfirm the opposite, that fats make you lean instead.

The anthropologists could not prove, no matter how hard they tried, that the contrapositive—fats make you lean and healthy–was untrue. If anything, their recorded data proved just that! Hunter gatherers are the leanest, fittest, and healthiest of any humans today, most likely because their diet is highest in fats. (There is a LOT of evidence nowadays to back up this claim, too).

Wouldn’t you be more convinced that fats do not make you fat and unhealthy after observing all these supremely healthy hunter gatherers eating animal fats on the daily? Compared to reading laboratory-intensive studies ‘proving’ only one biased side to be true, you now have solid evidence right before your eyes showing those biased studies cannot be true.

Of course, you could counter that hunter gatherers exercise more regularly than we do and that is why they are so lean and fit and healthy—a plausible rebuttal. Anthropologists considered this counterargument, too. They decided to test this theory out. They recorded the total number of hours hunter gatherers spent hunting and gathering their food each week. They were once again startled to find that hunter gatherers actually spend significantly less time working for their food than we do in the ‘civilized’ world! While we work an average of 40 hours a week, hunter gatherers only ‘work’ 15-20 hours each week! (They also spend quite a lot of time smoking). Simply chalking up their peak fitness levels to their weekly exercise routines is hardly sufficient enough.

Herein lies the issue concerning the confirmation bias, illuminated by the card selection task. People have a tendency to search only for positive or confirming values for evidence, not negative or disconfirming values.  This is a cognitive deficiency of the brain. Our minds are better able to understand and conceptualize positive values over negative ones. (The old adage, “seeing is believing,” conveniently highlights our penchant for positive values, despite the fact that there are plenty of things we believe to be true that we cannot see with our eyes.) But in order to have the most level-headed impartiality on any issue, you must look out for both. You must have confirming evidence for your hypothesis, but also address disconfirming evidence that goes against your hypothesis.

The confirmation bias, however, is usually an unintentional one. So how can we make it so people do not subconsciously and unintentionally confirm their own biases by failing to look for the validity in evidence opposing their beliefs? There is one minor solution for this issue that I finally discovered while scouring through the research paper linked above. Ask those inflicted with confirmation bias to provide alternative reasons to their beliefs about an issue. By encouraging them to look for alternate explanations to their theories and hypotheses, you are introducing different values and variables into their brains to consider which they had not considered before. This does not guarantee they will change their stubborn ways, but it will at least crack open the door to open-mindedness.

The best possible way to tackle someone’s confirmation bias, however, is to present facts to them running counter to their claims that are unable to be proven false. You must provide factual information that is both falsifiable under laboratory conditions yet irrefutable in spite of it all. No matter how much research and experimentation is done to dispute it, that which cannot be disproved shall remain the golden champion of Truth.

Obviously, this is way easier said than done. With so much misinformation pouring out from fake news sites and corrupted pseudo-institutions like ThinkTanks, it’s difficult to filter out the fake stuff from the real stuff. Add to that the fact that many scientific studies are privately funded by questionable sources, and that scientists also suffer from confirmation biases as much as we do, and you’ll soon find the complete and whole Truth of a matter requires much time and patience to uncover.

But where there’s a will, there’s a way. The indomitable Truth can reveal itself, with enough passion and dedication spent on an area of study. Anybody who puts enough time and effort into unbiased independent research and discovery can and will one day find the ultimate Truth to their questions. Blessed are those who dedicate their entire lives towards discovering the Truth to questions of the world and don’t stop until they do. Because knowledge is true power, and the Truth shall set us free.

Recap: The confirmation bias belongs in this psychology manual because, despite our best intentions, we’re all susceptible to it. It’s important not only to raise awareness of this issue, but to also implement strategies that counter the confirmation bias so we can all find the complete and whole Truth to a matter. Some strategies to do this suggested in the literature are 1) force others to suggest alternatives to their theories, so they may open their minds to different possibilities; and 2) uncover the indomitable Truth to a question through dedicated research that cannot be proven false, no matter how hard others may try to disprove it. Warning: easier said than done.


Psychological Reactance— My theory on why politics has become so tumultuous of late

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. —Isaac Newton    

This section of my psychology manual will be kept briefer because the concept is simple enough, but please do not mistake the shorter length for less importance. By all accounts, this might be one of the most salient philosophies to take home in this psychology manual. Especially in today’s tempestuous atmosphere.

Psychological reactance is a motivational state first studied by psychology Professor Brehm in 1966. It has a simple format, but large implications for real world issues. According to Psychological Reactance Theory (PRT), when people’s choices or freedoms are threatened or removed, their motivation to restore those threatened freedoms or choices increases to an exaggerated extent. A chain reaction occurs when they experience a loss of a freedom they had once enjoyed. They start to view the denied freedom or choice as more attractive than it once was. They drastically increase their efforts to attain or participate in the threatened or eliminated choice.

Factors that determine the magnitude of aroused reactance as a result of an eliminated freedom are:

  • One’s initial expectation of freedom— If someone is certain of a freedom they’re entitled to, they will react more strongly when it is removed. Conversely, if the individual does not feel entitled to a specific freedom, they don’t care much when it is eliminated.

 

  • The strength of the threat— The larger the threat or perceived loss to people, the more severe the reactance. Smaller threats may go unnoticed or receive less backlash.

 

  • The importance of the threatened freedom— How important an issue or threatened freedom is to a specific individual determines how aroused and angered they become when it is denied them.

 

  • The implication that the threat carries for other freedoms— If a freedom is significant enough, it is most likely interconnected with other freedoms. The more interconnected freedoms are with one another, the more threatening the loss of just one of them can be for all the others. Quick example: Roe v. Wade was overturned last year. Because women’s rights are so interconnected with other historically oppressed groups’ rights, people are starting to wonder which historically oppressed group’s rights will be next. Some are already suspecting gays’ rights to marriage to be next on the chopping block.

You may already see plain as day the connection I’m making between psychological reactance theory (PRT) and the current political climate. Specifically in the US (and generally other countries, too), one freedom after another has been slowly whittled away at the hands of the lead poisoned Boomers and Silents running office the past forty aching years. Each retracted freedom unleashes a new wave of psychological reactance among citizens. A few examples that immediately come to mind include:

  •  Restricting gun policies—Whatever your stance on gun ownership is does not change the fact that removing this right from those who are diehard Second Amendment supporters is doomed to receive backlash. As we can see, psychological reactance is quite strong for this one. Gun owners are lining up left and right in protests and messages to the White House to stay away from their guns or lose their vote. Even more interesting, and adding further to the psychological reactance theory (PRT) is the fact that, under these new gun restrictions, gun ownership in America is rising right now! Clearly, restricting gun ownership is only making it that much more appealing to own a gun for those who feel threatened by this significant loss of freedom.

 

  • Cancel culture—The example above infringes on the Second Amendment. Cancel culture, on the other hand, infringes on the First Amendment, because our freedom to express ourselves as honestly as we wish, without the fear of losing our livelihoods, is currently being threatened. Celebrities spreading misinformation about Covid can rankle those who know better, but should we suppress the words and opinions of these people for it, no matter how wrong they may be? By threatening to ruin their livelihoods through cancel culture, we are doing just that. Good, you might think, they should be canceled! They’re giving people the wrong information and potentially harming them because of it! To this I would say, Be careful what you wish for. For one day, they might come after you for a similar reason, even if you feel it’s misguided. Nobody will come to your rescue then. (A notable exception to free speech rights should be taken into account. Those who lead others to commit horrendous deeds, such as Alex Jones’ horribly mistaken take on Sandy Hook survivors, should absolutely be punished for it.) Freedom of speech is so important because it allows all of us to express ourselves as honestly as we feel, as opposed to suppressing our feelings so that nobody knows what we truly feel. I’d much rather the former situation than the latter, because those who hide how they truly feel are typically the most dangerous. How has cancel culture affected PRT? Simple. People are rebelling by saying whatever they want on social media nowadays. Those who appreciate their audacity to speak their minds freely will happily follow them on their social media presence, as an FU to cancel culture.

 

  • Roe v. Wade — Overturning Roe v. Wade shocked the entire nation last year. The sheer audacity and tone deafness from the deciding members of these political branches has caused an uproar among its citizens (as it very well should). You can practically taste the bitterness in the majority of people’s mouths over this issue. So much so that young people, for the first time in thirty years, went out and actually voted in the midterms because of it! (Psychological reactance is no joke.)

It should be obvious now that removing a freedom people previously enjoyed will not be welcomed with open arms. The opposite actually occurs, where people covet the lost freedom and revolt even more strongly than before. One freedom stripped away after another over the past few decades has rendered us a conglomerate of red-faced rebels. (The Boomers in office should heed this warning, for fierce retaliation is imminent.)

But psychological reactance does not simply incite rebellion amongst the people. It can also cement misguided notions that permeate society for years to come, causing yet another wave of psychological reactance to follow from it. One psychological reactance wave upon another inevitably causes a tsunami, which floods society with discord. What do I mean by all this? Story time.

The Soviet Union of 1922 in Russia worked for a few short years, by focusing on making most people happy. But it left a select few people feeling very resentful. Specifically, those who had a lot before the Soviet Union was formed were left with very little after its formation.

Those like Ayn Rand, a blatant hypocrite (more on that in a minute), were most aggrieved by this situation. The Soviet Union seized the land and properties from wealthier families like Ayn Rand’s to provide to the masses in need. In other words, the richer families of Russia were suddenly left with very little to their names. Based on your newfound knowledge about psychological reactance, what do you suppose happened next?

The Ayn Rands of this new Soviet world retaliated. Ayn Rand herself fled to America, and started a dreadful writing career. Her psychological reactance towards the Soviet Union spawned the behemoth, Atlas Shrugged, a true monstrosity of a book. Atlas Shrugged’s exhausting pages sprung forth Ayn Rand’s trashy ‘philosophy,’ Objectivism, which would have Fyodor Dostoyevsky rolling in his grave

Rand’s Objectivism was nothing more than a doctrine preaching selfishness and sociopathy above all else, an equal and opposite reaction to the Soviet World’s socialism from which Rand had escaped. This book, with its misguided ideology, received praise from the equally wretched Ronald Reagan, an ill omen to be sure. The Reagan administration repackaged the ideology of Atlas Shrugged into what is now called neoliberalism, poisoning America with its putrid pHiLoSopHy ever since.

Now over forty years later, most Americans rebuke neoliberalism, signifying a third wave of psychological reactance, this time against Rand’s secondary reactance to socialism. We are precipitously stacking one unstable psychological reactance onto another in today’s rocky environment, all of which stems from the pHiLoSopHy of terribly entitled agents against socialism such as Ayn Rand. Who, by the way, supposedly forgot about her hatred of socialism and “government handouts” when she started collecting those socialist handouts for herself. Social security benefits and Medicare are certified socialist policies, Ayn! Rules for thee, except for me, amirite? You gotta love the blatant dishonesty and lack of virtue in hypocrites like Rand.

As despicable as hypocrites like Ayn Rand are, it isn’t surprising she turned out the way she did under her circumstances, knowing what we know about PRT. Nor should we be startled in the slightest to see what came after her transgressions—wave after wave, reacting to reactions, of psychological reactance. Something has to give in order to redirect this chaos into something more productive and fruitful for society as a whole. I half suspect that Socialism will return once more, just as it did during the Great Depression, when wealth was being distributed to too few people and too many others were destitute because of it. This is all in accordance with psychological reactance theory.


Learned Helplessness— One of the main reasons I don’t watch the news anymore

 

The last concept I will describe in this psychology manual will be kept brief because I want to focus on one specific aspect of it.

Learned helplessness theory was a conjoined effort on the part of three psychology researchers, Maier, Peterson, and Seligman in 1966, and has prevailed ever since due to its pivotal discoveries.

The concept is simple enough. Individuals experience an event that is beyond their control and come to believe that their actions are independent of (noncontingent) the outcome they desire. In other words, these individuals expect future events to unfold in the same way—outside of their control, independent of whatever they decide to do. Because they expect noncontingency between their actions and the outcomes of future events, they learn that nothing can be done about it and proceed to behave passively. Passive behavior includes inaction as well as a lack of motivation to do anything to resolve a situation.

To sum it up, learned helplessness requires all three criteria to be diagnosed as such:

  • Noncontingency between a person’s actions and outcomes
  • The expectation that outcomes will continue to be noncontingent in the future
  • Passive behavior as a result of these expectations about the future

Only when all three of these symptoms are present can a person be diagnosed with learned helplessness.

Here’s where it gets interesting, though. A noncontingent event does not have to be experienced by an individual personally for him to acquire learned helplessness. It’s been discovered that people can learn helplessness just by observing others in a noncontingent situation! Just by watching others in a situation where the outcome is independent of whatever actions they decide to pursue renders the viewer helpless as well.

Aside from being quite fascinating, the discovery of this vicarious helplessness is also very applicable to real world issues. After all, where do we find ourselves constantly watching others in helpless situations? Hello internet, viral videos, and corrupt news channels! That’s right. Watching that viral video of someone getting robbed on YouTube; or viewing the daily news to find that an earthquake split neighboring homes in two can cause learned helplessness in the viewers.

This is quite alarming, considering we are plugged into the internet all the time in the modern world. We are constantly exposed to dramatic news online and on TV, YouTube videos, and social media. Television news channels are the most divisive of them all, broadcasting only the most dramatic, wacky, and extreme news pieces on a daily basis to their impressionable audiences. 

This isn’t new news, either. Levine (1977) performed an analysis on major television newscasts in the ‘70s and found that 71 percent of the news portrayed some form of learned helplessness. That is a staggering exposure to vicarious learned helplessness. Levine’s analysis isn’t perfect, as he and other researchers never followed up on their research analysis over the following decades. The experts on learned helplessness theory, Seligman, Peterson, and Maier, consider Levine’s study a ‘middling example’ of learned helplessness. But if I were a betting woman, I’d bet my assets that news channels today have gotten far more nuclear in eliciting vicarious learned helplessness in its viewers.

Think about school shootings, and how much unnecessary exposure the shooters get on television. Considering eight times out of ten, school shooters commit suicide, it’s safe to say that school shootings are the new form of sensationalized suicide. Yet the old, lead poisoned Silents, Boomers, and older GenXer CEOs of the top six largest media news conglomerates continue to crank out story after story of these school shootings. They sensationalize school shootings, genocide, and suicide, for sensational profits. All the while, we the viewers are left feeling more and more helpless than ever as we watch from the sidelines these horrendous crimes threatening the nation without penalty or resolution.

The good news is, individuals with learned helplessness symptoms recover over enough time. Even greater news comes with the finding that the afflicted can receive therapy, usually in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to aid in their relearning of response-outcome contingency which empowers them to believe their actions do make a difference for an outcome. They may also be “immunized” to learned helplessness when they are previously exposed to similar experiences in controllable situations.

This is wonderful news for those who are aware that they are suffering from learned helplessness. But what about those who go about their daily lives completely unaware of the tenacious hold which learned helplessness binds them in? Those who watch TV news all the time are most susceptible, but every one of us has been impacted by online news and videos all the same. I know for a fact I’ve been influenced by vicarious learned helplessness to an extent, whenever I feel alert or anxious around a socially awkward man, for instance. Articles of male perpetrators strangling women to death for ignoring their catcalls cross my mind whenever I encounter weirdos behaving in kind. It’s almost instinctual to behave so cautiously in today’s tense atmosphere.

What a tragedy it is to suspect every human we encounter. How disappointing that we look on society with paranoia and disdain. It shouldn’t be this way, and it certainly does not have to. But as long as we remain glued to these news channels, it certainly will. Media monopolies and their sociopathic endeavors to divide and profiteer from the masses shall continue teaching us helplessness, so long as we’re willingly learning helplessness.


This concludes the current content for my psychology manual to life, but this certainly isn’t the end. I will be adding new findings and muses to this throughout the following months. I’ll let you know when I add more content  along the way! I sincerely hope you learned something new and are able to successfully implement it in real-world situations. 🙂

The cycle of abuse (Part One)

the cycle of abuse
Survivors of abuse often struggle alone, making it all the more unbearable to break free from the cycle of abuse.

Breaking the cycle of abuse is a feat more difficult the more years pass behind you. This has been the dogma since entering my dirty thirties and discovering that life has this circuitous tendency to speed past you, only to circle back around and catch you when you least expect it. The knowledge and experiences that have fermented up until this point in my life have borne fruit to this realization.

A deeper level of understanding things will bring new discoveries along with it. Opening one door and merely peeking inside can reveal a whole new world of thought on a matter.  Such is most certainly the case with the cycle of abuse. I am halfway through the first year of my thirties, and I’m still discovering new research findings relating to childhood abuse that I had never considered before.

I was immersed in this tainted world for most of my life. I know the inner workings of physical and emotional abuse. In a way, I have the upperhand when it comes to research on abuse. Scholarly research is still very important, of course, but I already know the interiors of this domestic hell all too well.

Without even researching the reasons, I innately understand why survivors are so silent about their abuse. But I was skeptical if the professionals truly knew the answer. These professional scholars most likely grew up in relatively normal households where they were loved and appreciated and raised to believe they could surmount any obstacles that stood in their paths. What could they possibly know about living a life so incredibly opposite of that?

I let this morbid curiosity get the best of me one day. I guided my fingers to the keyboard to Google what the professionals thought. Tbh I couldn’t help but shed a tear when I read the very first line highlighted from a legal article Google pulled up from its SEO. These professionals truly do understand us. The unbearable isolation between them and us has mended. The very first line that caught my eye was highlighted just so:

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know exactly why this struck such a chord with me. It was just so specific a reason to survivors of abuse, that I felt gently reassured by their depth of understanding. This highlighted text is very specific to one of many reasons survivors remain silent about their abuse for so long.

The Reasons for Silence (in no specific order of importance):

Feeling guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about their abuse

I would often feel deep disgust and hatred for the atrocious things my mother would do and say to her own children, and for her equally miserable displays in public towards other people. I was also quite resentful of my father for being the enabler, allowing her to go on as she did without any meaningful intervention to improve the dire situation. Disgust for their behavior turned to resentment, which turned to feelings of shame for sharing the same genetic makeup that created the likes of them. It was quite literally guilt by association.  Imagine being related by blood to the sorts of people you despise the most in the world. It’s a rather shameful experience. So much so that I would much rather bury that dirty, miserable secret from the world than bear the thought that I could be grouped in with the likes of them myself.

It’s also quite embarrassing to have to explain to other “normal people” the hurtful, degrading things you’ve been called by your own family, or the demoralizing and dehumanizing ways you’ve been treated. To admit you were completely helpless in those situations is a humiliating blow to the self-esteem.

Feeling like nobody cares about their problems or feeling like nobody would believe them anyway

Trust is a very important thing when it comes to victors* of abuse. Abuse victors may be hesitant to divulge their dark secrets to strangers and acquaintances who they don’t know and trust very well. They might curtly answer a few probing questions to a stranger about their family and personal life before eagerly changing the subject. They might hint at a tainted relationship with family members but remain tight-lipped about the details. Their hostile upbringing severely compromised their general trust in other adult figures. Unless they’re very close with someone who is a friend, mentor, or family member who has proven their trustworthiness over the years, abuse survivors tend not to place complete faith in others.

*[I prefer the term “victor” over “victim” for survivors of abuse. It is both empowering and anti-defeatist compared to the latter. I will here on out replace the word “victim” with “victor” as a way to stand up to abusers and stand strong together as survivors of abuse].*

This retreat from trusting others may generalize to everyone the survivors meet. A self-fulfilling prophecy ensues: abuse survivors distrust others; they withdraw from others as a result of this distrust; and those they barricade out are reluctant to try again. This in turn affirms the abuse victims’ belief that nobody truly cares about them. The survivors retreat further and further until no open communication with others is possible. This lack of prosocial behavior with others exacerbates the problem, until the survivors truly feel no one is capable of understanding or even believing what they’ve experienced back at home.

A further issue is the fact that there are always victim narcissists and opportunists lurking in every corner of society, eagerly waiting to snatch a brief moment of attention for themselves. Their glib cries of purported abuse and mistreatment for their chance at five seconds in the spotlight overshadow the real survivors’ suffering. “The squeaky wheel gets the oil” while the true survivors suffer in silence.

The natural skeptics of the world will catch onto the bluff of these narcissistic actors. They’ll (rightfully) expose these fraudsters to the rest of the world. All it takes are a few of these liars exposed to the public to render every other proclamation of abuse or mistreatment thereafter “fake news.” Such is what happened with the Me Too movement and even the transgender acceptance movement.

Initially innocuous gestures for social change, these progressive movements became the breeding ground for spoiled opportunists and flagrant fakers to inundate everyone with their disingenuous, self-victimization spiels. One false alarm after another by these victim narcissists, and the masses eventually grow tired of it. They soon become desensitized to the movement altogether. They start to accuse the victim narcissists of faking it for attention and money, or for merely following a “trend”—a morbid concept that downplays the severity of the subject matter at hand. The victim narcissists prove them right until the entire movement is rendered futile because of it.

Survivors of abuse such as myself quietly observed others’ reactions to these progressive movements and responded in turn—with silence. So far, it’s panned out exactly as described: survivors now fear that others will accuse them of lying about their abuse “for the clout.”

Avoiding the traumatic memories from the dreaded past

There is no doubt that childhood trauma should be addressed to move on and live a healthier, happier life. But opening up about traumatic experiences forces the victors of abuse to relive those moments, however briefly. Depending on the severity of the abuse experienced, this can be too much for a victor to handle all at once. Hence why professional care is normally advised. Only then will the survivor be ready to open up about their adverse childhood experiences.

Not fully understanding or downplaying that what they went through was abuse

I suspected something was deeply troubling about the way my mother and father treated us since I was a child, but I didn’t get the validation and confirmation I needed until I went to college. Once I took a few psychology classes and learned the terminology, it became clearer and clearer to me that what I had experienced at home was in fact abuse and that my feelings of being mistreated were indeed validated by the literature.

It’s normal for survivors to downplay their mistreatment at the hands of their abusers because they were too young and inexperienced at the time to know any better. This “asymmetrical” information is beneficial only to the abusers, who can go as far as gaslighting the survivors and even manipulating them into believing “it wasn’t that bad at home.”

Survivors comparing themselves to others who had it far worse is another reason for downplaying their own experiences with abuse. Survivors in this situation may even feel guilty about complaining about their hardships at home knowing full well someone out there is suffering far worse. Someone always has it better than you and someone always worse, but that should never invalidate “lesser” forms of abuse compared to ones on the “higher” end of the abuse spectrum. Abuse is abuse, plain and simple. Unfortunately, gaslighted victors of abuse need to relearn this cognitive process. The first step to achieve this is to acknowledge their abusers’ manipulative mind games. Only when they realize the impact their abusers had on their ways of thinking can survivors cope with the truth.

The fear of “something worse” happening to them should they report the abuse..

There are plenty of people who wonder why abuse survivors never report their abuse to the authorities. Why don’t they ever call the right services, contact the right people to get them out of their situation? The reason can be as simple as the fear of enduring something far worse than what is already experienced back at home. One prominent example of this involves a particular system which the American government has utterly failed thus far: foster care.

Any child currently in foster care can attest to the instability and even downright hostility of this oppressive system. State studies like these have confirmed that nearly one in three children in foster care are abused by their foster parents or other adult figures in the home. Children in foster homes are twenty-eight times more likely to experience abuse in general and four times more likely to experience sexual abuse. More than half of the children recovered from FBI raids on sex trafficking were from foster care and group homes. The statistics for foster care are horrendous. Given these statistics, why would a child risk uprooting themselves from one abusive household to another which is very likely to pose even more danger?

Abusers who understand this cruel situation for their victims gleefully take advantage of it. Some abusers will mockingly goad the survivors to “go ahead and call child protection services,” knowing full well that the survivors won’t be able to out of fear of an even crueler punishment than the ones currently endured at home. This issue doesn’t pertain solely to children of abusive households either.

Spouses of domestic abuse are often paralyzed with this “fear of something far worse” should they choose to leave their abusive partner. Often lacking the basic resources and community necessary to help them get back on their feet once they leave, victors of spousal abuse are often left to fend for themselves and, if applicable, their children. This has the unfortunate consequence of opening the survivors up to their abusive partners again, who will then utilize whatever manipulative means necessary—even violence—to coax them back home. Once again in each of these cases, survivors are placed between a rock and a hard place as they’re forced to decide which option is the lesser of two evils.


These are some of the main reasons victors of abuse are hesitant to open up about their traumatic pasts. Unfortunately for them, this reticence tends to deprive survivors of the necessary resources to break free from the cycle of abuse. This often and tragically results in survivors perpetuating the cycle of abuse with families they create themselves. Either by choosing to be with an abusive partner or becoming that abusive partner themselves, survivors who fail to break free from the cycle of abuse prolong the lifespan of generational abuse.

We need to dive deeper into the research and ask more comprehensive questions to get to the bottom of the cycle of abuse. What are the general consequences for those who have been abused? What negative and harmful side effects must they endure from their past experiences with abuse? Do these harmful effects pervade beyond their childhood into their adulthood? What forms of therapy, if any, can be administered to relieve survivors of their troubled pasts? Beyond these commonly asked questions posed by psychologists, a more profound question emerges: Are there any advantages to growing up in such a hostile environment?


This article  is intended as reference for a Twitch 

speaking session on the cycle of abuse. 

This is Part One of the series.

Cringey coomer strats that guarantee zero rizz


 For the girls forced to deal with this BS, you’re not alone.


coomer


I love and respect most men, but despise the ones of the coomer variety. They make life unnecessarily uncomfortable for everyone else around them. Most guys are normal and decent human beings as much as your average chick. But we really need to address the underhanded tactics of manipulation which coomer males feel the need to carry out as their hail merry for getting laid.

And before you go off on me about this, I know there are plenty of toxic females out there in the world, too.  I know crazy chicks exist and suck, too. But I’m limited to my personal experiences here, and that happens to entail a lot of shady male figures trying to get in bed with me using all kinds of undercover, manipulative tactics. I know I’m far from being the only woman who has encountered these issues (and a whole lot more) from these creepy men of the world. Watch out for this lot of male thots.

The “Make them Jealous” or “pit women against each other” tactic

As a thicc girl boss myself with Judo skills to defend my ass(ets), I receive many compliments on my muscular figure. It was no different for this one coomer McKyle who’d go as far as sending money to me just to see pictures of me flexing (true story!). We met up in person one night and surprisingly got along well enough. He’d continue sending me money for “flex pics” periodically until one day, out of the blue, he texted me about this girl he was dating. That’s all fine and dandy because I didn’t have feelings for him that way, but then it turned quite sour.

He started texting me unsolicited photos of her and comparing our body types (ew). He attempted to provoke me by insisting she would catch up to me in the gainz department. Aside from being downright creepy, it was also quite pathetic. I feel the girl could do so much better than him.

It’s really cringe that I have to say this, but there are a group of guys out there who actually believe that the way to a woman’s heart is by riling her up and getting her worked up over another “potential” female competitor. There’s a lot to unpack here.

First of all, what makes a guy think that the woman he’s trying to bag will willingly play this little game with him? What makes him think she’s even into him to begin with?

Oh, that’s right. He’s playing this manipulative game with her specifically because he doesn’t know for sure if she’s into him, and he’s too insecure to find out in a healthier, more honorable way. A man with chad, sigma, or big dick energy shoots his shot directly and if he misses, he doesn’t sweat it. He moves on with no hard feelings. But gauging whether a woman is into him by purposely trying to make her jealous over another potential female competitor is not only manipulative, it’s simply stupid, juvenile, and craven. It’s not going to win you any points in the respectability department, that’s for sure.

A confident woman knows her worth. She would never trip on a little coomer boy playing this game of tag. Women have always had the upper hand when it comes to options in the dating pool. That’s just evolutionarily and biologically a fact about mating options for men versus mating options for women. There are over 3 billion men in this world today. What makes a man think, in this day and age—where you can swipe left or right in a second—that she’s going to stick around even for another minute with a coomer  who plays this game of uncertainty with her? (The same applies to the unhinged chicas by the way.)

Have you ever watched a chick flick or read an erotica novel or romance webtoon, brother? You could learn a thing or two about women’s fantasies—what gets their gears really lubricated— just by glossing over the contents of these commonly consumed forms of female-targeted porn. Now granted, women aren’t all built the same. Studying the inner workings of female-targeted pornographic material does not guarantee you get a girl in the end.

Do I really need to say that, though? If a dude thinks there’s a manual out there that lays it out ABC, 123 on How to Win a Girl’s Heart Guaranteed, he’s being downright delusional. Just like men, women don’t fit into these neat little compartments. But that trashy erotica novel is still a far better option toward understanding the female psyche over that garbage you consume from that turd-brained, no-chin male PUA you follow relentlessly in hopes of sliding into those DMs, to slide into something else…Bombastic side eye.

The moment that weirdo started acting up this way, I ignored him like the annoying manbaby he was. Worked like a charm. He’s probably still butthurt to this day. I wonder how that girl would feel had she known he was doing this…Which leads to the next case of psychopathic idiocracy…

Bragging about cheating on a partner as a way to flaunt your rizz

I really can’t believe I have to put this one up, but it’s happened to me on multiple occasions throughout my young adulthood and it’s quite baffling why these types of men do this sort of thing. It also only seems to occur among older men, specifically old Gen Xers, Baby Boomers, and some very ancient Silents. I’ve never heard of a woman getting revved up for a good time when a man brags about cheating on his partner(s) to her, but apparently older men feel this is what gets the young ladies excited for a joy ride with ol’ daddy-o.

Aside from revealing to me what a terrible person you are, you’re also showing me that you’re a sociopath when you behave this way. Only someone with antisocial personality disorder would find it humorous to play with their partners’ feelings like this and then boast about it to others. And seriously, who are these women who actually take the bait? All the fish in that pool of stagnant water are most definitely infected with some serious issues ( like lead-poisoning ahem).

Also, what do these creepy older men hope to accomplish when they brag to young women they’re hoping to score with about cheating on their wives and having multiple girlfriends on the side? Is it just their way of convincing these young ladies (or themselves), “I still got it, baby?” Revolting. 

Honestly, that’s probably it right there. Their midlife crises have kicked into full gear, and life is finally catching up to them as the sands of time deplete from their hourglass. With their youth faded and minds jaded, they set out to embark on one last hurrah of debauchery and infidelity to deny themselves the humbling truth that they’re getting old and cannot escape from it. Instead of embracing the journey of aging, they outright deny it. Whatever the case may be, cheating and bragging about it is sociopathic.

A middle-aged man from one of my Judo dojos came onto me like this. Aside from being at the age of peak midlife crisis, he also presented highly in sociopathic tendencies. He bragged about divorcing his wife and having a 27-year old plaything on the side before trying his luck with me. I humored him and listened before rejecting him straight up (emphasizing on multiple occasions in verbal italics that I only wanted to be friends). Cognitive dissonance made him try harder. Such blatant brutishness wore me down until I straight up lied and told him I was in a relationship. Predictably sociopathic, he stopped talking to me altogether afterwards. He even stopped showing up to Judo classes, most likely from very warranted embarrassment.

The craziest thing about this personal ordeal was how charming he was before this all played out. He put on such a show of an adventurous, optimistic, and charming spirit, but it was literally just that—all show. The moment the “truth” was unveiled about me being taken, the charm wore off. All predictably presenting tendencies of someone with anti personality disorder. Watch out for this manipulative lot of (elderly) thots.

The undercover coomer presenting as your BFF

POV: You meet an ugly guy somewhere (usually a club, a community group you’re both involved in, or even online) and he latches on like a leech the moment you make contact with him. He’ll offer to take you out to restaurants on his dime, no strings attached. He’ll buy you gifts (but just as friends) as a pretext to hang out with you more. He’ll text you. Every. Single. Day. The texts will consist of a “Hi” or “Hey” with no substance to follow, a poor attempt at low-key flirting. He was so nice and generous towards you, though, that you feel you should at least offer an equally shallow “hey, what’s up?” in return. The onslaught of nothingness continues for a few more exchanges with a “not much, hbu?” until he sends the text he intended all along: “What are you doing today? Or, “what are you doing this weekend?” And this is where it all begins. The point where he slowly worms his way into your personal space and attempts to poke a hole through your boundaries.

He’ll be super friendly and upbeat towards you all the time, constantly gushing over how amazing you are, yada yada. He’ll also be super interested in everything that interests you. And conveniently enough, he emphasizes that he only wants to be your friend! So you should hang out with him all the time because, hey, no worries! He’s just looking to be your friend! It won’t take long before he reveals his true self to you, though. The more desperate an undercover coomer like this is, the more impatient he is, too.

I’ve encountered this persona a few times throughout my life. What struck me first about this group of undercover coomers was their exceptionally unattractive appearances and personalities. Which one came first though, the chicken or the egg? Did their unsightly physical appearance cause others to constantly reject them, which they internalized? Or were their personalities so horrendous from the start that their outward goblin and blubberfish appearances are simply a reflection of their putrid characters? It certainly makes you wonder. My honest opinion is the latter.

Women aren’t as visual of creatures as men. That is a scientifically replicated fact in too many studies to list. Plenty of unfortunate looking men have managed to snatch attractive women throughout the centuries (Benjamin Franklin, anyone?). So clearly the issue with ugly men isn’t simply their looks.

It’s the insecurities and nonexistent personalities, coupled with the desperate coomer attempts at ingratiating themselves in every waking moment of your life, that truly vex. Instead of focusing on building traits and skills that will make him more attractive in personality, the undercover coomer internalizes his unfortunate appearance and renders himself a slave to it. He surrenders entirely to this concept and resorts to a life of servitude to women who might throw him a morsel of false hope from time to time. It always fails.

Let me give you a very clear example. One of these undercover coomers, in an attempt to score with a female acquaintance, proceeded to spend every waking moment with her “as friends.” He’d pamper her with sickeningly sweet affection whenever she was feeling badly about herself. He was always trying (desperately) to be “the best friend” she could confide in about anything. He’d buy her food, spend all the money on vacations for them, and massage her feet (big red flag there). Meanwhile, this female acquaintance was already in a relationship with another guy! That being said, how desperate must you be to subject yourself to such obsequious behavior at the nearly nonexistent chance of scoring with a chick who is already taken!? You may be wondering what this girl had to say about him after all the money and attention he bequeathed to her. “He looks like a mangled baked potato.”

You may want to believe that this coomer is simply a victim of such an attention-seeking woman who herself is not that great of a person. While the girl mentioned in this situation was indeed capitalizing on his desperation while also being unfaithful to her own partner, the undercover coomer is also effectively attempting to capitalize on her in a moment of weakness. Swarming around her like a pesky mosquito day to day, he takes any opportunity he can to shoot his shot when the moment seems just right. In reality, he is the manipulator and she is merely the karma he reaps from what he sows. Here’s a perfect depiction of this scenario from a comic strip.

If you want an even more defined example of a desperate undercover coomer taking advantage of a woman in this way, let’s backtrack to the first two paragraphs of this section where I mention my personal experience. This guy hit me up on Instagram one day out of the blue and proceeded to bombard me with messages like, “Hey, saw you on Twitch…” or “I saw you on this site and wanted to be friends!” I ignored him because, yuck. Who actually asks to be friends with someone in this way? Friendship is supposed to flow as naturally as a river over time. You don’t just get to barge into someone’s life and say, “Hey! You there! Let’s be friends starting now because I want to!” That screams entitlement to me.

Women have been taught since we were children to be wary of this kind of guy, because it’s obvious he’s not doing this just from the kindness of his heart. He has other motives behind those ostensibly “friendly” gestures. While it may not be obvious to someone as oblivious as these undercover coomers, women see the bullshit almost immediately. Such was the case here.

Months went by, and he continued to message me every other week to see if I’d give him a morsel of attention. The good ol’ prod and poke and annoy maneuver. He stalked my Twitch live stream one day when I was publicly announcing my breakup with a long time partner. While in this emotionally vulnerable state, undercover coomer showed up unannounced on my stream, handed out one subscription (about a $5 donation) as a way to grab my attention, and disingenuously offered to help me “in any way he could.” He begged to hang out with me that night as a way to “comfort me in my time of need” and for “no other reason than to help as a friend.”

He took complete advantage of my vulnerable state. I hesitantly agreed to meet him in a public mall that night to get my mind off everything for a few hours. He failed utterly to start a proper conversation with me upon meeting (despite his incessant attempts online in my DMs to do just that). I was forced to carry the weight of the conversation, which is precisely what someone who is emotionally distraught from a breakup and is meeting a stranger doesn’t want to do.

He took me out to a restaurant. I listened to him pour his heart out to me about his problems, his suffering, the entire dining experience. I suddenly felt like dinner was a pittance for this drawn out therapy session. Before I made my escape that night, he revealed his true intentions all along. “Wow, you look so pretty. Like, even without makeup and while crying. You’re just naturally pretty.” Ok, coomer. I left him that night feeling even more confused about this situation and not at all comforted.

He started texting me afterwards. Every. Day. Keep in mind, I just broke up with a man I cared deeply for. My heart was bleeding and my mind buzzing in my newfound state of uncertainty and confusion. I started pushing myself to focus on what I wanted to accomplish in my life and what I needed to do to get there as a way to distract myself from the emotional pain. Meanwhile what does this undercover coomer do? Bombard me with his bullshit. Everyday.

“Hey, what are you doing?” “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” “Hey, I bought you an ice cream maker! Want me to stop by and drop it off for you?” “Oh, you’re upset so you want to be left alone? Want me to come over and cheer you up?” The dearth in social-emotional intelligence truly astounded me.

The lack of self-awareness and the severe level of self-absorption infuriated me like nothing else. Despite telling him to give me space and not text me so goddamned frequently, he continued to barrage me with texts. I finally had to block him on everything just to pry him off me. Wouldn’t you know he had the gall to call me toxic when I told him I was blocking him on everything! I, the toxic person? Nay, barging into someone else’s life, capitalizing on their vulnerable, emotional state to intrude their space, and forcing a meetup under false pretenses to coerce a friendship that will hopefully lead to you scoring, is toxic as hell. Oh, and he looked like a toad with Down Syndrome. Is that a reflection of his weak personality? One hundred percent.

While the aforementioned cases are certainly alarming in-your-face red flag cases, this particular one is the most subtly manipulative and therefore the most pernicious the longer it’s dragged out. Pretending to be a girl’s friend as an attempt to get laid or start a secret relationship with her is creepy. It destroys a woman’s trust in building real, platonic relationships with men. P.S. it never works. So do us ladies a favor, coomers, and get your act together before you spew your unwarranted bullshit on us. And maybe, like all the other stupid Beavises and ugly Buttheads of the world, you’ll finally be able to score.

 

 

Video games don’t cause violence IRL

Try as they might, the research has shown that video games don’t cause violence IRL.

For the last time, video games don’t cause violence in real life. Countless news channels and media want us to think otherwise, with all the times they’ve tried to associate increased violence with the number of video game hours played, but it never churns out anything remotely conclusive.

Notwithstanding the myriads of inconclusive scientific literature on the matter, media outlets persistently nudge this fallacious idea into the minds of their audience. Some take the bait and actually start to believe the regurgitated nonsense. And then the cycle continues, with more research dollars squandered, and researchers in labs wasting would-be productive hours on pointless experiments hoping to find some tangible connection between virtual violence and real world crime. When in reality, the answer is as simple as this: virtual reality does not equate to reality, even when it feels real.

Yes, video games do trigger and elicit a wide spectrum of real emotions from the player. Ethereal landscapes from fantasy genres dazzle the more sensuous players (the Final Fantasy series immediately come to mind), while other players are more moved by touching, sentimental cutscenes between video game characters based more in reality (Red Dead Redemption or The Last of Us, anyone?). Some video game lovers get a thrill from the horrific imagery and unsettling mood of the survival / horror genres (I have to say, the Resident Evil 4 Remake has done a fantastic job at instilling fear and dread in me throughout the playthrough, and oddly enough, I love it). The widespread emotions generated while playing these video games are very real to us. But does this ever extend into our real lives in any significant way? 

Unless you’re a competitive gamer whose entire livelihood depends on your performance in a singular video game, then probably not. The scientific research on video game violence translating to real-world violence remains inconclusive, for one, because there are too many covariates not factored into the equation when performing such research, and for another, because the preponderance of asinine ideas such as this is a common theme in human nature. 

There are plenty of examples of other nonsensical allegations against similar modes of entertainment. Television shows such Beavis and Butthead faced unreasonable backlash against the character Beavis’ alter-ego, Cornholio, and his “overuse” of the word fire. When five-year-old Austin Messner burned down his mother’s mobile home and killed his toddler sister, Beavis and Butthead—not parental negligence—took the blame, only further proving the absurdity of human nature. 

Why blame Beavis and Butthead over parental negligence for what happened in the Messner household? It’s more convenient and easier to accept. Rather than take responsibility for one’s parental mistakes, it’s more expedient (and profitable) to place the blame on an object separate from oneself. Messner’s mother stood to gain a lot from the situation, anyway, via a large settlement out of court, had she been able to cleverly pull the stunt off (spoiler: she wasn’t very clever). 

It’s also easier for outsiders to side with the mother.  It’s cozier on the conscience to offer a single mother the benefit of the doubt, while assuming the worst for a well-established company even loosely associated with the wealthy elitists of Hollywood. Instead of focusing on the mother’s lack of attention to her child and the cigarette lighter in his hand, it’s more convenient to lend her support. Even when she blames a TV show about dumb teenagers doing dumb things for her (dumb) child’s behavior. 

Make no mistake, this Beavis and Butthead incident is no different from how the “video games cause violence” spiel is panning out—fruitless and a waste of thousands of legal and empirical dollars. But due to its expediency in distracting the public eye from focusing on the real issues, the spiel is overplayed. The sharp increase in recent school shootings, for example, soon finds a scapegoat in first-person shooter (FPS) video games, for the same reasons mentioned earlier. It’s simply easier and more politically beneficial to blame FPS games over personal responsibility to the public to address the real issues with school shootings. 

It is simply too costly in time and money to give second thought to providing these statistically suicidal and depressed shooters with some sort of outlet—be it psychological assistance, group activities that form healthier social bonds with others and build social-emotional learning, dietary recommendations for a healthy mind and body, medication when all else fails, or a combination of these. It’s much more profitable instead for the media to exploit the victims of school shootings on the news for views. This of course sensationalizes the shooters to all would-be shooters watching, too. Sensationalized suicides are and have been a thing for a while now. School shootings are the newly evolved form of sensationalized suicides. 

But, once again, the need for in-depth analysis on this very complex issue is never addressed. The same spiel on video games and violence continues to spin its tale. Non-entities and NPCs in digital space become the reason that breathing entities cloaked in human flesh kill irl. The true reasons are never found among all the white noise. Yet the covariates to this video game-violence theory do exist. Let’s resurface all of these forgotten factors contributing to increased rates of violent crime (primarily in the form of school shootings) that have been happening of late.

It may not be the content consumed that leads to such violent behavior, so much as it is the context from which you’re trying to escape. It isn’t the video games they choose but the environment a gamer grows up in that dictates how they will behave in society. The video games are simply a distraction, a form of escapism, from a bigger issue at home behind closed doors. Abusive, controlling, authoritarian parenting leaves the children with little else to enjoy but video games. Or, video games provide a distraction from troubles at school and with problematic classmates and bullies. Being singled out by other classmates from group activities forces an individual to seek solace in video games instead. And if these gamers grew up in the ghettos, with the statistically highest rates of crime and violence, all of these problems are exacerbated. Ghettos have a serious lead poisoning issue by the way, from the pipes and walls of outdated infrastructure willfully neglected. Lead poisoning has been virtually proven by multitudes of studies to increase aggression and violence in those affected (among a plethora of other serious afflictions), further widening the pool of factors contributing to violent crime today.

In all of these examples, video games are a result, not cause, of a troubled individual. A troubled upbringing in high-crime neighborhoods increases the chance of violent, criminal activity. Said individual may just happen to enjoy violent, FPS video games as much as the real stuff. Yet FPS games, and any video game detracting precious moments from “the nuclear family,” take most of the heat when that troubled individual is involved in the next school shooting or violent crime. 

Their backstory and upbringing and current financial circumstances are never investigated. Their lack of familial bonds, of friends, of opportunities, are only apparent in hindsight. If they lack the necessary resilience to overcome these self-trials, and if society reduces their needs to a mere nuisance not to be bothered with, a criminal will almost inevitably emerge from the shadows of despair. It is the troubled individual who cannot overcome the odds who poses one of the greatest dangers to society. Video games may just have been the last coping mechanism for them before they went off the deep end.

In fact, there are many ignored educational benefits video games provide which most educators and parental figures would prefer not to acknowledge for whatever reason. FPS games themselves provide a useful skill-building platform for improving real shooting accuracy, hand-eye coordination, spatial cognition and mental rotation, among plenty others. Cooking games can teach you how to create real dishes (like in Cooking Simulator). Puzzle lovers can improve their skills with video games incorporating puzzles into the gameplay (think the popular Portal games or the beloved Japanese Okami). Minecraft, the mother of all video games today, teaches you architecture, pixel art, and computer programming all through experimentation and helpful YouTube videos from other players.  

There is also a therapeutic component to video games. From Tetris with its well-established calming effects on anxiety, to bespoke games that touch individuals on a more personal level, video games provide a healthy outlet for those struggling with mental disorders or enduring difficult times. For those who grew up in abusive, neglectful, or authoritarian households, video games fill an emotional void. They distract from the ugly reality of their lives and take the players on a voyage of free exploration and discovery. This virtual journey allows players to hone their skills quietly away from others and pursue new missions without fear of embarrassment should they fail. It is a journey where learning skills is exciting and non-threatening, a direct contrast to the strict rigidity of public educational curricula, or the controlling environment back at home.

For poor families, video games provide a substitution for exhilarating real-world experiences that are not easily affordable. Children from these poor households can virtually experience the vibrant landscapes, cities, and wonders of the world by admiring the rendered high-definition graphics of such places depicted in modern-day games. Or, if these financially disadvantaged children wish to improve on a game skill for free, such as with chess, they can play such Free to Play games online and, all else being equal, be no further behind in skill than their wealthier counterparts.

Even for those without apparent family or poverty issues, video games still provide respite from stress, depression, and anxiety. For everyone, they provide the opportunity to extend connection with loved ones online. In today’s age, they even provide players with the opportunity to make thousands of dollars each month to excel in a specific competitive video game, or to entertain viewers while playing online alone or with others. Video games have opened the doors of opportunity for people of every background. 

Video games are not a panacea for every single issue in life. They can even cause certain issues to arise if they’re played unchecked. They have the potential to distract someone from addressing real-life issues that need to be resolved. There requires a certain level of discipline and self-control, therefore, when playing games that are programmed to be as entertaining as humanly possible. And they can reinforce severely unhealthy habits, such as sitting for hours on end (which is considered the new cigarette smoking of public health issues) and missing out on outdoor activities, sunshine, and fresh air. These behaviors alone can exacerbate mental health issues, which is perhaps why some professional video game players in the industry are known to suffer from mental illness.

But to say that all video gamers are one way or another is complete and utter lunacy. To accuse all video gamers of violent and aggressive behavior is no different from assuming every person who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic, or every partygoer a degenerate. In all other contexts, such an assumption would be immediately dismissed. Yet the elderly mentality on video games equating to brain rot and violence (ironic, considering their brains are the violent, decaying ones) still persists in the news and papers.  

When will it end? What will be required to end the futile research on video games leading to violence? How must us gamers prove that what we do in video games to NPCs is not indicative at all to our behaviors and reactions in real life to real people? Sure, in the Grand Theft Auto series, you can refuse to pay a stripper for a lap dance and shoot her and her pimp dead, but will this really translate to a real life scenario of the same kind? Will the player replicate their video game persona irl and endanger real lives? How many strippers are actually shot dead each day by clients? How many of those (selectively) few deaths were due to someone playing Grand Theft Auto? Common sense tells me that something much deeper than a video game plays a role in that type of erratic behavior. 

As for the desensitization argument where video games continuously expose players to graphic violence until they are desensitized to it, potentially increasing the risk for desensitization to graphic material in the real world? I’m afraid that ship has already sailed. Want to see a Chinese worker’s organs spaghettified before your eyes in horrific fashion by unregulated machinery? Websites like 4chan have anonymous videos showcasing real-world work-related deaths and even murders. Livestreams from the President of Ukraine himself are constantly showing the graphic imagery of real life violence and warfare. We’re already becoming desensitized to violent imagery because of our exposure to it from all areas of the internet. With video games, we’re at least provided free rein to meander through these trying situations ourselves. 

Despite all the talk of desensitization, video gamers truly do feel vivid emotions when they play certain games. The immersiveness of modern video games makes it rather easy these days to suspend disbelief and feel like you’re actually the main character going through every tear-jerking or life-threatening experience. Video gamers feel the fear and adrenaline that the main character should feel as they navigate through dangerous war zones or mobs of flesh-eating zombies. Their heart races as the video game character rushes to safety or fights for their lives. Fear and panic are instilled in players of the horror / survival series from the onset. With time, players adjust to the zombies and enemies chasing after them (whoops, their playable character), and learn how to better manage their emotions and reactions when shooting them down. What was once deemed frightening becomes habitual, almost second nature, to the player.

Sure, when I’m shooting parasite-infected zombies in Resident Evil 4, I first feel dread, and then fear, and then disgust at the bloody scene before me. With enough exposure to the same types of enemies, I become desensitized to their grisly forms and gory antics . Does that mean I would callously shoot down and murder any innocent zombie civilians in real life because of this “desensitization?” The way the “research” on video game violence is unfolding, it’s probably best just to wait for the irl zombie apocalypse and test my reactions then.

 

Lead Poisoned Minds Rule the World: The awful truth about older generations and lead poisoning

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” —the U.S. Constitution Preamble  (bolded words by me).

 

“You will observe with Concern how long

a useful Truth may be known and exist before it is generally 

receiv’d and practic’d on.” —Benjamin Franklin

Why is nobody talking about the lead poisoning theory?

The United States has a dark and prominent past with lead poisoning. Although lead has been carefully regulated and monitored since the late 1980s, it most definitely wasn’t always that way. In fact, the lead poisoning of millions of Americans (including children) from that era can still be felt, in one way or another, presently.

I’ve recently stumbled upon this revelation, and I find it to be both illuminating and disquieting with regards to our current political climate. This revelation is both a blessing to know and understand, and a curse too frightening to accept. It is nevertheless necessary to discuss, and seriously consider, the pivotal role lead poisoning has played in the current economic and environmental crises which all leading nations face today.

I’m referring to the disturbing history of leaded gasoline, the United States (and the rest of the world), and the permanent effects of lead poisoning on the minds of over 170 million Americans from the 1920s through the 1980s.* Although this historical matter has been archived and essentially forgotten since those dark days, I’m keen on resurfacing the data to explore and develop a pressing theory: Are the Boomers and GenXers truly fit to (lead) this world?

*Although leaded gasoline wasn’t officially banned in the U.S. until 1996, the 1986 lead content standards wiped out 98% of leaded gasoline use in the nation, essentially enacting tighter regulations in the later 1980s .

Americans (and other nations) huffed Leaded Gasoline for Decades before it was finally banned

This is the unfortunate truth for anyone who lived contemporaneously with the ill-fated invention of leaded gasoline circa 1921. The “mastermind” behind it all was the notorious Thomas Midgley Jr., who will go down in history as the man who killed (and destroyed the livelihoods of) the most people in history:

Thomas Midgley knew, of course, that there were better, safer alternatives to leaded gasoline even during those times. Mixing ethyl alcohol with gasoline, for example, was already on the verge of becoming commercialized and used worldwide as a suitable anti-knocking agent. (Knocking refers to a vehicle’s internal combustion process that would detonate and “knock” the car loudly. Anti-knocking agents were added to gasoline to quiet the car and stabilize the combustion process.)

As William Kovirik (2005) wrote in the International Journal of Occupational and Environmental Health, “Another alternative, ethyl alcohol, produced an anti-knock effect identical to that of ethyl [the intentionally confusing name they used in place of the far less appealing moniker ‘leaded gasoline’] when blended in 10–20% volume with gasoline.”

According to Kovirik, Midgley knew ethyl alcohol was the future for gasoline years before he set his eyes on the much more profitable leaded gasoline, tetraethyl lead (TEL). He even wrote about the marvels of ethyl alcohol in his personal journal entries, noting that ethyl alcohol was “of course, the fuel of the future.” He even sent a lab assistant to Yale University, a year prior to his TEL discovery, to study the conversion of cellulose to ethyl alcohol fuel. Of course, when those Yale studies and experiments were taking too long for Midgley’s preference (time is money after all), he withdrew from the mission altogether, and instead set his sights on inventing that which he yearned for all along: a get-rich-quick scheme. And so the real money-making agent, TEL, would retire every (less profitable) alternative for publicly safe, anti-knocking agents.

Every promising anti-knocking agent thereafter was sidelined, as TEL stole the limelight. After the ill-fated invention in December 1921, TEL was popularized and marketed between 1922 and 1923, and finally distributed throughout the nation’s markets (and worldwide) in February 1923, for over fifty years. America was very suddenly huffed out on TEL. Unlike our reasonably safer and far more enjoyable poison, ethyl alcohol (aka the fun, adult variety), the effects of lead poisoning would most assuredly be permanent on the minds and bodies of its victims. And at an alarmingly rapid rate. Oh, and children were most negatively impacted by the lead poisoning, as the scientific literature today almost unanimously agrees on.

The Harrowing Effects of Lead Poisoning on the Mind  

The fallout of TEL was recognized almost immediately. Ethyl Corporation—the aggregate of Standard Oil Co. (now Exxon Mobil), DuPont, and GM—witnessed worksite-related deaths as early as September 1923, not even a year after the mass production and distribution of TEL to the markets.  Within just a year, workers were either dying or driven insane. The mad ones were shipped off to psychiatric facilities until their inevitable passing.

Although these related incidents of lead poisoning prompted a slew of public health conferences and debates, the general consensus remained that TEL was the “only” viable option for anti-knocking agents at the time. This of course was false, according to the personal records of Midgley himself, mentioned earlier. But once a sociopath, always a sociopath. Midgley and his diabolical lab partners continued to lie and deceive the public about the safety of TEL until over half the population was suffering from moderate to severe lead poisoning.  Extreme public safety measures weren’t seriously considered until the mid-1970s. By then, it was too late. The minds of most Americans had already been infected with the noxious TEL fumes.

Interesting anomalies started taking place concurrently with the rise of TEL use in gasoline. A lead-crime hypothesis was formulated by scientists to explain the unusual rise in homicides and other violent crimes in direct correlation with the rise of TEL use.  Take this graph, for instance, which shows the alarming spike in homicides from the mid-1960s through the 1990s.

lead leaded gasoline TEL

Although correlation does not assume causation, it’s quite extraordinary to compare the rise in TEL use in gasoline (which peaked in the 1960s through the 1980s) with this graph denoting a concurrent rise in violent crimes such as homicide. It should be stated that other factors such as socioeconomic status, upbringing, the legalized abortion and crime effect, genetics, and other cultural shifts also play a role in determining the sudden rise and fall of violent crime from the 1960s-1990s. Even considering all of these confounding variables, however, a meta-analysis pooling 24 individual studies together on the lead-crime hypothesis found that “the abatement of lead pollution may be responsible for 7–28% of the fall in homicide in the US.” This at least corroborates that as close as 10% to as much as a quarter of all crimes during that period were caused from the lead poisoning of Americans.  If that isn’t concerning enough about the average state of the American mind at that time, then perhaps this is:

A colossal study on 1.5 million individuals across the U.S. and 37 European nations found that individuals exposed to lead levels greater than the modern standard of 5 μg/dL (microgram /deciliter) “were less agreeable, less conscientious (in the US sample), and more neurotic (among younger participants)…” Furthermore, “people born in each US county after atmospheric lead reduction began had healthier, more mature personality profiles. They were more agreeable, more conscientious, more open to experience, and less neurotic.”

Does this feel like déjà vu to you? You’ve probably experienced plenty of the elderly’s irrational, rash, delinquent, explosive, and/or borderline antisocial personalities in your life already. You now have plenty of science to support your theory that there was something quite wrong with those individuals. In fact, the average adult in the 1970s had a blood lead level of 13 μg/dL, which is now considered by modern standards to be nearly three times the cutoff for clinical attention. The average American from the 1970s has over twice the amount of lead poisoning in their systems than is normal and healthy. Don’t you think this would pose a problem not only to the afflicted individual, but to society as well?

The researchers from the aforementioned study seem to think so, too. As they prophesied on page two of their research:

[M]illions of people born from the 1930s (when leaded gasoline became popular worldwide) to the mid-1970s (when it was phased out) may have had their personalities adversely affected. If these associations persist at low levels of exposure, current generations may still be experiencing lifelong consequences from lead exposure…Even a small association between lead exposure and personality, when aggregated across millions of people and their countless decisions and behaviors influenced by personality, could have large effects on societal well-being, productivity, and longevity. (bold words by me)

It should come as no surprise to anyone that those individuals most affected by lead poisoning from the 1930s through the 1970s posed serious threats not only to themselves, but to everyone else in their society. Being less agreeable, less conscientious and less considerate of others’ well-being, and displaying such blatantly antisocial and neurotic personalities—what could go wrong when a supermajority of citizens are suddenly like this? Everything, according to author Bruce Gibney.

In his book A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America, Gibney explores every channel of sociopathy the Baby Boomers encompassed on their rise to snatching political and financial power for themselves. Considering the Baby Boomers were one of the most susceptible cohorts to lead poisoning—they were children or young adults and therefore the most vulnerable to adverse effects during the peak years of TEL use—I think Gibney is onto something here.

Gibney provides a plethora of data, from reliable sources like the U.S. Treasury, U.S. Census Bureau, FRED (Federal Reserve Bank of St Louis), economical journals, and other sources repellant to fake news like FoxNews, CNN, and MSNBC. Through his reliable data sources, Gibney makes a compelling argument against the Baby Boomer’s mental faculties.

He shows that Baby Boomers expressed sociopathic tendencies as early as their teens and young adults, when they harbored more pro-Vietnam War sentiments of any generation preceding them. As soon as those Boomers reached draft age—specifically, when the government overturned the draft deferment via college enrollment—that tune changed almost overnight. Baby Boomers started protesting the Vietnam War in the late 1960s to early 1970s, when many of them were draft age and could no longer dodge the draft through college attendance. Hypocritical? Most definitely. Sociopathic? Let’s be fair and require more examples before jumping to that conclusion. No worries, Gibney has that covered, too.

For reference, here is the official DSM-V criteria for diagnosing antisocial personality disorder ( aka sociopathy). Keep this close to refer to as I continue presenting Gibney’s conclusions on the Baby Boomer generation. I will use the respective numbers below in parentheses for every sociopathic trait indicated in Gibney’s claims. I will be brief here and I highly recommend you purchase or refer to Gibney’s book in one way or another yourself for reference:

Diagnostic Criteria of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) 

According to the DSM-5, antisocial personality disorder is defined as a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since the age of 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following symptoms:

(1) Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest

(2) Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure

(3) Impulsivity or failure to plan

(4) Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

(5) Having no regard for the safety of self or others

(6) Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

(7) Lack of remorse, or inability to feel guilt, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

One of Gibney’s additional claims indicating Baby Boomer sociopathy is the dramatic increase in risk-taking behavior (and bank bailouts) from the 1980s onward once the Baby Boomers took over Wall Street, emblematic to criteria (1), (2), (3), (6) and (7) of the antisocial personality disorder guidelines. Gibney goes on to explore the profligacy and materialism of Baby Boomers compared to other generations, revealing from the FRED data that Baby Boomers have saved the least of any generation before (or after) them (5, 6, and 7). So much for accusing Millennials of spending too much money on avocado toast and coffee! Takes one to know one, I guess. This is typical sociopathic behavior, of course: Rules for thee, but not for me. And blame everyone else for the world crises.

Gibney also touches on the influence Baby Boomers had on tax cuts from the 1980s onward. Baby Boomers, as the supermajority constituents that they were, successfully voted in politicians who pandered to their self-interests. Any politician (perfect example in Reagan) who proposed substantial tax cuts to the middle class specifically, for instance, would appeal to the Baby Boomers as they entered their peak working years from the 1980s through 2000s. This, of course, harvested more profits for the Boomers at everyone else’s expense (read the rich and poor classes were screwed with proportionally higher tax rates). This self-serving behavior for “tax cuts for me, except for thee” indicates criteria (3, 5, 6, and 7), as the Boomers had no regard (or remorse for) the social classes they threw under the bus.

To rub kosher salt on a gaping wound (kosher salt being rougher than regular table salt), the only tax cuts Baby Boomers opposed at the time were for Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security. Don’t fall for the surface charitable behavior here—they voted against those tax cuts because their impending retirements in the coming decade or so required such benefits for themselves, which is indicative of sociopathy via criteria (5, 6, and 7). As politicians, they peddled tax cuts (excluding Boomer-benefitting ones of course) through mendacious propaganda such as “trickle-down economics” and the fallacy that “tax cuts add more to the economy,” (1 and 2).

There are too many examples provided by Gibney to continue here, but I hope you get the picture. Boomers have presented sociopathic tendencies since at least their teenage and young adult years when leaded gasoline was ubiquitous. Lead poisoning in moderate to severe amounts has been clinically proven to decrease agreeableness, conscientiousness, and increase neuroticism and personality disorders such as antisocial personality disorder. I think you can put two and two together here.

With this in mind…Is it truly safe to put our faith and trust in generations exposed to significant levels of lead poisoning?

This is the golden question I think all of us should seriously consider before contributing that pivotal answer.

Lead poisoning nationally traumatized Americans (and the rest of the world if I’m being honest) from the 1930s through the mid-1970s. The average blood lead levels for adults in the 1970s was 13 μg/dL, more than twice the threshold for necessary clinical intervention. Baby Boomers primarily, and older GenXers secondarily, were most affected by lead poisoning as children and young adults. Clinical studies continue to replicate the findings that lead found at those levels attributes to a variety of cognitive, behavioral, and personality disorders, including significantly reduced IQ, violent/aggressive behavior, neuroticism, paranoia, memory loss, and even antisocial personality disorder.  Authors such as Gibney have been outspoken about the sociopathic behavior of the Boomer population compared to every other generation.

So then why are Boomers (and GenXers) still the supermajority in congressional, judicial, and executive powers in America circa 2023? As of 2021, Boomers still control the U.S. Senate by an overwhelming supermajority of 68%; with GenXers following behind at 20%; the Silent Generation comprises 11%; and Millennial(s) a meager and pathetic 1% of the Senate. The House fares no better, with 230 seats bearing the pruny derrières of Baby Boomers (53% majority); 144 seats to host the secondarily lead poisoned GenXers (exactly one-third of the representation); the Silent Generation carries 27 seats (6.25%); and the Millennials only 31 seats (7%):

 

lead poisoning

 

First of all, does this seem like fair and equal representation of all Americans to you? Furthermore, isn’t it a tad bit alarming to consider that 402 of the 432 House seats, which include the Silents, Boomers, and GenXers (that’s almost 93% total) are, considering the scientific literature on it, on average over twice the threshold for concerning health risks posed by lead poisoning? Does anyone truly feel comforted by the fact that 68% of lead poisoned, narcissistic and sociopathic-presenting Boomers dominate the Senate, while one-fifth of the Senate is represented by additionally lead poisoned Gen Xers, and 11% the fossilized (and further along in lead poisoning) minds of the Silent Generation?

Am I being unfair here, oversimplifying and generalizing these older generations? Not all Boomers and GenXers fit under one category. I’ve met plenty of pleasant, non-hostile Boomers and GenXers in my life as well. I like to think of them whenever I learn a new fact about one cranky old politician or another, to remind myself that they’re not all the same. However, the fact remains that the most sociopathic-presenting ones in these specific generations are the ones in power, be it the dumb CEO sociopaths of today (who hold quite a bit of their own political leverage through lobbying) or Boomer bankers of Wall Street, or the corrupted politicians serving these deviant types.

Nevertheless, these corrupted Boomer types were buoyed up by the masses, and the majority of those masses were fellow Boomer constituents. Obviously the less power-hungry but equally lead poisoned Boomers still managed to stall the burgeoning scientific and technological advancements in this country through their reckless, self-serving voting decisions over the past forty-plus years from the 1980s onward.

Finally, after fifty years of worldwide tyranny by the lead-poisoned minds of Baby Boomers (and Silents and some older GenXers!), we can observe what that has done for our well-being and the condition of the planet. Financial struggles abound amongst all average American families, while the Boomers soak up the most profits and Medicare / Social Security returns of any generation. House and rental rates have soared in a short span of time, with Boomer Wall Street bankers and Boomer-run private equity firms manipulating these markets to their self-interests. Judging by this currently trending issue of worldwide Boomer deceit over global climate change concerns, we’re not getting anywhere good when it comes to the health of the mother sustaining us all, planet Earth herself, either.

Boomers (and some Silents and older GenXers) reject science and reasoning over personal religious beliefs and confirmation biases. Perhaps this is due in part to their significantly reduced IQs from lead poisoning? They lie and deceive when it suits their best interests, at the literal expense of everyone else. Perhaps these sociopathic tendencies stem from lead poisoning affecting the mental faculties involving personal relationships, openness to new experiences, and psychosis? They’re the most hypocritical generation as supported by just some of the facts mentioned earlier, and they show no remorse for their hypocrisy and blatant manipulation of the public. All of this just shows how narcissistic, sociopathic and corrupted they are from, greed, yes, but most importantly, and more likely as a result of, severe lead poisoning.

Am I being too harsh, considering these older fools (as proven by their lowered IQs) were involuntarily exposed to neurotoxic lead fumes against their better judgments? Should we hone sympathy for our oppressors? You tell me. When the damage has been as catastrophic as it has been and the overwhelming burden for resolving these crises falls disproportionately on their Posterity, the younger generations, will pity be the appropriate answer against such lead poisoned rulers who personally opened the canisters, poured out the oil, and sparked the flames that would burn up the world?

Think of everything sociopathic and hypocritical the Boomer generations anywhere in the world have done in comparison to other generations. In America, they were the most pro-war during the Vietnam War when no other generation wanted to go to war. Yet when the time to go to war presented itself to them, the Boomers changed their tune and protested. Think of the free or exceptionally cheap college they enjoyed, as they now prey on younger students hoping to achieve the same as they once had. Think of their flagrant responses to the world crisis of climate change, which scientists believe is one of two main contributing factors (the other being nuclear warfare) on the doomsday clock’s tightening projection of the world’s end.

Can we really put any of our faith and trust in these lead-poisoned, tyrannical rulers who present with such anti-science, antisocial, and psychotic tendencies? The current state of the world is answer enough.

 

 

The Van Life: Back to (Better) Nomadic Times

“Homelessness is unfortunately a revolution at this point. If they want people to buy into society[,] we should have a society worth buying into.” —A random YouTube commenter, with a powerful message


 

Living the van life down by the river used to be a joke; now it’s a reality for many young people trying to survive in these troubling times.


The van life is no longer a ridiculed lifestyle illuminating the failures of an individual to assimilate to society. Today, the van life has transformed into a rally, a deliberate message from the young people addressed to the old ones at the top (mostly Boomers, and some, the offspring of said Boomers).

Here’s the message loud and clear: We’re tired of your antisocial system. We grow weary of your oppressive regime that works only for those who have ascended to the top and those who will ascend to the top not through meritocracy, but through the oligarchic channels of entitlements and nepotism. This ill-fated, anti-social hierarchy that reeks of materialism prioritized above all else—we’re over it. Now we only dream of escaping the tortured remains of this world you have despoiled, by taking to the free roads in a van or RV, counteracting your materialism with our minimalism.

The Boomer generation has dominated the political—and therefore everything else—ranks over the past forty years, and the current predicament (read crisis) of our world is all they can show for it.

Houses and rental prices are through the roof (might as well make puns out of the situation for some comedic relief). What they took for granted in their youth—needing only one working family member to support an entire household, for example—is now but a pipe dream for hopeful young homeowners in today’s landscape. And overpriced rental payments are but secondary repercussions of this failed system.

But perhaps that doesn’t matter, since the world is burning upor flooding over, depending on where you go—anyway. Home settlements might not even be feasible in the world they’ve created for us, what with hydrofracking-induced earthquakes and climate change-enhanced hurricanes and flooding conveniently overlooked, so that they may carry on with their purely self-interested agendas of hedonistic improvidence. Their shortsighted indulgence of this planet will be our long-term responsibility to bear. And the weight of that burden feels very heavy on our shoulders.

This sociopathic oppression has been relentless with this subset of Boomers in power. They want to chain and bind us to this wretched world they created against us, so they can snatch from our fingers whatever morsels remain in our personal assets for themselves. We already bear the financial burden of supporting these Boomers into their socially-secured, medicated retirements (Socialist benefits aka Social Security and Medicare only for them, I suppose). Yet we must also tend to the blood-sucking parasite they’ve planted on us, in the form of student debt, which they deliberately inflated only after they bloviated ad nauseam the overstated perks of going to college to score a good-paying career (once again, all lies). This was all a sociopathic ploy to leech money from us until their—but at this rate, more likely until our— demise.

On top of the financial burdens we bear alone, we must also find a way to survive on this ever-warming planet with our stagnant wages since the 1980s. An affordable, AC-cooled home or apartment sounds like a luxury these days because it is. As the widespread meme goes, “They want 202[3] prices with 1990 kitchens and bathrooms.”

Quite frankly, we’re tired of this bullshit. What’s the point of living if you’re enslaved to a system that serves only one class (the Boomers), everyone else be damned? Working and saving, saving and working. That’s been the unending revolution of our lives for years—for some of us, even decades—yet we have nothing to show for it. Everything we were told to do, we did. Yet in the end, it was futile.

We’re chained and shackled to an outdated work system run by the decrepit, lead-poisoned minds of baby Boomers too brainless to even change the passwords on their computers in their high-paying, corporate positions, from “password” or “admin,” to something a bit more secure and unlikely to get hacked into. We must abide by their rules and show up to work on their time, no flexibility considered. On top of all this pettiness we must endure while we work, we get paid too little for it, and find it too improbable to even survive on the wages these CEO Boomers dictate are “good enough” to live on (yet they themselves couldn’t survive a day on, guaranteed).  

Going back to the home issue—where the “heart” supposedly is—and we have found ourselves officially burnt out from disillusionment. Not even being able to afford a place to live, to call home and have a loving family to share it with, is the ultimate injustice to the youth of today. Younger Millennials are demoralized by what we thought we could achieve before realizing we’ve been duped from the onset by the sociopathic Boomers in power. And Zoomers, our younger siblings, have seen what the Boomers have done to us and are more wary as a result. This is why we have decided to take matters into our own hands.

Millennials—and now Zoomers— have been inventing ingenious solutions to this pandemic of Boomer sociopathy. No affordable houses for singles and couples? Team up with fellow burdened youth and live in a communal property with acres of shared land. If you’re savvy with home construction, you can buy an old, beaten up Victorian for cheap and flip it yourself. Or, for those of us who can’t do option one or two, take to the roads to escape this anti-society altogether, in a loaded RV, mobile tiny home, or the van life equipped for the dreams we once believed in.

Although it is far from perfect, the van life is a tempting opportunity to rebel against this anti-society doomed to fail. When all the markets explode and national panic strikes once again (as it inevitably will the way things are currently progressing), we’ll have already taken to the roads, embracing the simpler lifestyle of our nomadic ancestors.

In fact, there is such a trend in culture arising of late, seemingly from the spectral shadows of our nomadic, paleolithic ancestors. A  minimalistic approach to life has taken root once more, among the concrete jungles of our modern-day urban sprawl.

McMansions and other excessively oversized boxes for shelter are quickly growing out of style among the younger generations, to be replaced with modest, single-family homes for settlers (when possible in this dreadfully inflated market), and flexible apartment leases (and other nomadic-friendly opportunities such as the van life) for the wanderers. Having the most toys over anyone else—a petulant ideology that plagues the superficial Boomer mindset—is now supplanted with a genuine yearning for strong familial values; a healthy work-life balance to ease the tortured minds of a corporatist world; and making the necessary sacrifices—owning less toys—to achieve those wholesome goals if need be.

Our modest values, in direct contrast with the Boomers’ selfish, greedy ones, are most assuredly the reasons Millennials (yes, primarily Millennials) are causing divorce rates to fall dramatically in America. It’s almost as if prioritizing cutting throats to secure the bag instead of caring for others wholeheartedly leads you down a lonely path where everyone resents you! We seem to possess substantially more knowledge and wisdom than our elders on what truly matters in life…

Perhaps our early paleolithic ancestors were right all along—a simpler lifestyle  beside the warmth of a kindling bonfire, surrounded by loved ones living together in small huts, far outweighs the soulless distribution of luxury items and services among fellow faceless, “big names” who live in cold, sequestered, marbled mansions. Symbols of love touch our hearts in places where symbols of wealth can never reach. Suffering together yields more joy from life than residing in luxury by one’s lonesome. The wealthy, older members of this anti-society are richer than ever, and yet more miserable than most. We have learned these valuable lessons observing them over the years, and have channeled our priorities elsewhere as a result.

And so, if ‘society’ today continues on this treacherous path of Boomer sociopathy and deceit, it will cease to be a society at all. If and when that time comes, it will be the youth taking flight to leave it all behind. We have nothing left to lose, or at least not much, in this anti-society, after all.

“Society is no comfort, To one not sociable,” as the great William Shakespeare once wrote. Truly and terrifyingly, this quote shares eerily similar qualities to the sociopathic mindset that prevails over today’s anti-society. Sociopathy poisons not only our waters and lands through negligence and apathy, but also our very existence. It threatens not only our livelihoods, but also future generations for years to come. And if we cannot fight it, we must flee it.

Perhaps it’s time to liberate ourselves from the shackles of today’s anti-society, and spread our clipped wings wide. If we’re so lazy and unmotivated, as they love to project onto us, then maybe we should shift the burden of supporting the elderly into their extended retirements onto them. Or maybe it is for the best that we renounce our unwarranted debt obligations to our financial predators through debt strikes such as these. Perhaps only then will they concede to our merit in this ‘society,’ though even this is doubtful, considering the sociopathic source we’re dealing with.

The way it is now, subsidizing this anti-society is simply not worth the investment for us. We get nothing out of it and they get everything. After years of disillusionment and deceit, we’ve had enough. To the wild roads we roam, in search of the Promised Land we were once (deceptively) assured.


living the van life

Living the van life may not be as romantic or poetic as it initially appears, but it opens the doors for  young people seeking a more adventurous life worth living.

 

The Final Act of Wall Street: The End of Homeownership as We Know it

Wall Street did it again

 


“What they [Wall Street] don’t take into account is what’s called “systemic risk.” The risk that if their investments collapse, the whole system may collapse. Well, that’s what happened, has repeatedly happened, and is probably going to happen again.”

Chomsky, Noam. Requiem for the American Dream . Seven Stories Press. Kindle Edition.


A Note Before Reading:

I implore you to take as much time as you need to fully digest this rather lengthy post. If you can read it all at once, more power to you. But feel free to take breaks and come back to it if you need to, or divide it into different sections for each day until finishing. 

While there are some more advanced financial terms used here, it’s certainly nothing you can’t handle. I have bolded such terms that require further explanation, to let you know that they will in fact be properly explained at the appropriate time in this post.


Wall Street elites and regular American citizens alike once scorned Soviet communal apartments, preferring instead to privately own land and property for themselves. To privately own land and property was the Capitalist American Dream, the way for most middle-class folk to accumulate substantial and generational wealth over time.  

Times have really changed since then. Now we’re seeing a plethora of khrushchyovka-like apartment complexes under construction, popping up everywhere throughout the nation. But unlike those Soviet-style apartments, these multi-family units are coming in hot with heavy price tags. 

Both housing and rental rates in the US have soared over the past few years. From 2021 to 2022 alone, real estate prices, on average, nationwide, have increased a staggering 68%. According to realtor and YouTube analyst Jason Walter, that amounts to an $837/month increase in mortgage payments nationwide.  And apartments haven’t fared much better, with nationwide rents rising an average of 25% in the past two years alone.  

Despite these ghastly cost hikes in the housing and rental markets, the quality of living inside those units have not improved in conjunction with those prices. In fact, the opposite seems to be more true—with renters and homeowners alike complaining about the wretched conditions they find their apartments and houses in due to lack of proper care and maintenance. We’ve somehow found ourselves today living a Soviet-socialist lifestyle in cramped apartment and townhome spaces (or dilapidated houses in desperate need of repairs), but with an extravagantly Capitalist price tag attached to it. This oxymoron is the ultimate betrayal to the alleged American Dream. 

How did this even happen?

This is the question anyone even slightly interested in the financial or real estate sectors (or those unfortunate folk currently looking to buy their first home in this tumultuous market) has been trying to figure out. 

The answer is as simple as it is complex. It’s simple in that the obvious answer to this real estate crisis always directly involves the ones running the show (cough cough Wall Street, investors, and their paid out political parties, surprise surprise). It’s complicated in terms of the mechanisms at play. That is to say, what their cunning plans are and which risky financial instruments they utilize to generate massive wealth in the real estate sector, at the expense of us regular plebs ever owning a home for ourselves. 

And boy does it ever cost the regular folk! We’re the ones forced to bail them out every time, with our tax dollars, whenever they muck up. This even happened after folks were kicked out of their own homes when they defaulted on the shady subprime mortgage loans Wall Street knowingly handed them. Talk about rubbing salt on an already gaping wound. I’m referring to the 2008 Housing Crisis. 

If you look into the details of that convoluted period in American history, you’ll see how the elites of Wall Street preyed on the hopeful middle-class Americans searching for that special place to call—and own as—their home. Even more, you’ll discover along the road that the effects of the 2008 crisis are still bleeding into the lifestream of today’s real estate markets. In fact, the 2008 subprime mortgage and housing crisis essentially opened a new, creaky door for Wall Street to slip through into the shadows once more, to devise even riskier schemes that would inevitably—once again—screw over lower- and middle-class Americans from ever owning a home. More on that later. For now, we need to revisit the 2008 House crisis in much more excruciating detail.

The 2008 Housing Crisis

(In this paragraph, please dress the words with a garnish of satire.) In the early 2000s, Wall Street investment firms heavily involved in the real estate industry were facing an elite-class, white-privileged, first-world problem. They weren’t making enough money! Stupid middle-class Americans were paying off their mortgages too slowly. Hmph! This meant the poor, little investors of mortgage-backed securities (MBSs) were only getting slow and steady streams of income through mortgage and interest payments. Why couldn’t they have both slow and steady riches, and fast cash in heaps all at once? They wanted both kinds of riches!  And a whole lot more of both! So they set to work figuring out what they could do to hastily stockpile their piggy stashes further with even more bloated wealth.

If you read and/or watched The Big Short, you might understand the premise above. But if you haven’t dug into the details of the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis, you need to learn about it now. You must know what Wall Street did to the regular American people during this period if you want to get a sense for what’s happening in the real estate markets today… 

In the early 2000s, Wall Street was growing impatient with the tens of millions they were making from the residential real estate industry. It just wasn’t enough for their already expansive capital reserves. They wanted hundreds of millions now. Even billions. Greed has no bounds after all.

Middle-class Americans were paying off their mortgages slowly and steadily over time. This wasn’t making the already-filthy-rich mortgage investors of Wall Street even wealthier fast enough, and they were losing patience. Not only that, but if middle-class Americans’ homes rose in value, or if mortgage rates went down a bit, then qualified families in need during emergencies could refinance their homes, get some money back for themselves from the equity, maybe even lower their monthly mortgage payments and/or interest in the process, and replace the original mortgage loan. It was a win-win-win scenario for homeowners, but it ticked off the Wall Street investors who owned the securities to the original mortgage loans. 

Mortgage bond investors (mortgage bonds are just a vast pool of thousands of homeowners’ mortgage loans combined) rely on the monthly interest payments of mortgages to make a profit. When houses are refinanced, the original mortgages are replaced with new ones, so monthly interest payments to the original investors are kaput. Instead of having a mortgage paid off in the typical fifteen- or thirty-year timespan, those original mortgages could prematurely terminate in as little as a few years. An investor who would have made more money off those mortgage payments from interest over a longer period of time has now lost a chunk of that would-be change to refinanced households. Poor, wealthy baby… 

Because of these obstacles for the wealthy elite of Wall Street, they schemed up ways to create even more wealth out of thin air from the residential real estate market.  Enter subprime mortgages, the beginning of the end to homeownership by the average American.  (Highlighted and bolded because this sentence has a lot more weight to it than you think, but I’ll explain more later on).

Mortgage loan originators (the creators of mortgages) learned in the early 2000s that they could sell a higher volume of mortgages—and therefore make more money—by handing out subprime mortgages to lower-income Americans who normally wouldn’t qualify for mortgages. The name itself, subprime, indicates that the mortgages handed out to this targeted class of Americans were less than ideal. They were “subprime” because they did not require the borrower to have a good credit score in order to obtain them. A good chunk of these subprime mortgages didn’t even require proof of income or proof of assets from the borrowers, in the now notoriously coined acronym NINJA loans, which stands for No Income, No Job, No Assets. 

The subprime mortgage was devised specifically to screw over lower-middle class and low-income Americans. Credit-risky, low-income borrowers would get approved for these NINJA subprime mortgages with very misleading and sometimes downright fraudulent terms. Some of these fraudulent terms included “no monthly payments” or “interest-only payments” for the first few years, and then BAM. After that “teaser rate” period was up, a floating interest rate would be tacked on upwards of twelve to twenty percent on the mortgage. The “updated” principal balance would be near bursting from the lump sum balloon payment these poor folk were suddenly required to pay off.   

If your gut is churning with the uneasy feeling that something is awry here, you would be right. It’s never a good idea to hand a loan over to someone who has no proof of being able to repay that debt plus accrued interest! Duh! That’s kind of a no-brainer. But it wasn’t ignorance that prompted Wall Street bankers and investors to create and distribute these subprime mortgages to credit-risky borrowers. They knew exactly what they were doing. 

In Michael Lewis’s bestseller The Big Short, hedge fund manager Steven Eisman, who went on to short the subprime housing market himself, said of these loans:

“They were making loans to lower-income people at a teaser rate when they knew they couldn’t afford to pay the go-to rate…They were doing it so that when the borrowers get to the end of the teaser rate period, they’d have to refinance, so the lenders can make more money off them.” Thirty-year loans were thus designed to be repaid in a few years.

Here’s the opening for the get-rich-quick scheme of Wall Street from the early 21st century: You have the mortgage loan originators concocting these godawful subprime mortgages with teaser rates including “no interest,” “low interest,” and even “deferred monthly” payments for the first two years. After those two or three years were up, these poorer American families would find themselves with interest piled up so high on their principal mortgage balances, they couldn’t afford the new monthly payments. They’d be forced to refinance their house in hopes of keeping it. If their house went up in value, that is…

I mentioned in the beginning of this section that investors of mortgage bonds didn’t like it when borrowers normally refinanced. But these were poor American folk who didn’t know any better and shouldn’t have obtained such duplicitous subprime mortgages to begin with. These subprime mortgages were meant to blow up in their faces, precisely so they would be forced to refinance their homes. The investors would yield a greater profit margin from the poor homeowners if their houses rose in value and were consequently refinanced. Easy, extra money for the investors. Here’s an example: 

Let’s say some subprime borrowers have paid $20,000 on their $200,000 subprime mortgage (a fair number considering some subprime borrowers didn’t even need to pay the principal on their subprime mortgages for the first two years during the teaser period). When their subprime mortgage loan teaser rate ends, the borrowers find themselves unable to afford the sharp increase in monthly mortgage payments due to the ballooning of interest on their principal mortgage. Thankfully their home value has risen to $250,000, so they can refinance, narrowly dodge a nasty default on their mortgage, and hold onto their home for the time being. The subprime borrowers refinance with their current lender for “the best deal.” They pull out equity from their newly appraised home in exchange for a higher mortgage ($250,000) they now have to pay off.

 Equity is the difference of the newly appraised home value ($250,000 in this example) and the amount still owed on the original mortgage ($200,000 – $20,000 paid off is $180,000). The equity for the subprime borrowers in this example would be $70,000 ($250,000 – $180,000).

This may seem amazing for the borrowers to have the opportunity to receive $70,000 in cash from equity after refinancing to a new mortgage of $250,000. But don’t be fooled. This is all according to plan for the original lender. The investors of these volatile, explosive subprime mortgages knew the teaser rates would expire in a few years and blow up in the borrowers’ faces, forcing them to refinance to a higher and/or longer-lasting mortgage balance. When that pinnacle moment in time came, they could suggest the borrowers refinance with them. 

The subprime borrowers would receive their equity of $70,000, but after closing costs and transfer fees and perhaps a down payment on the new mortgage they pull out, it would amount to significantly less than that in the end. Meanwhile, the original lender, having already profited from the monthly payments toward the original $200,000 mortgage, manages to tug out a few more years of extra payments from the same borrowers on the same home, but this time at an even higher, more profitable principal amount of $250,000. (He might even sell this newly refinanced mortgage to another investor for a wider profit margin through mortgage-backed securities.) And if this second refinanced mortgage is a floating-rate, subprime mortgage like the first? You best pray the house appreciates in value again (or the subprime borrowers suddenly become wealthier) for their sake. If not, refinancing won’t be possible and that means defaulting on the subprime mortgage, which translates to bye-bye house and on the streets the subprime borrowers go.

The loan originators intentionally created these subprime mortgages to turn sour in a couple years when the teaser rate expired on them to make a heftier profit when these low-income homeowners were forced to refinance because of them. Preying on the poor who didn’t know any better—how charming. But it gets much worse than that. Because what happens when the houses of these subprime mortgages with the expiring teaser rates and volatile floating rates didn’t appreciate in value? UH-OH

In this most unfortunate circumstance, borrowers defaulted on their subprime mortgages because they couldn’t afford them and couldn’t refinance them to a rate they could afford. They lost their homes to foreclosure; their credit scores tanked for years and years as a result; and the houses went up for sale at a foreclosure auction, at a heavily discounted, cash-only price. (We will go into more detail on this in a bit, because the result of this huge housing scam by investors led to the biggest one happening today.)

Mortgage loan originators produced and sold these deceptive subprime mortgages. Wall Street investment banks like Deutsche Bank, Lehman Brothers, Morgan Stanley, Bear Stearns et cetera bought these subprime mortgages from the loan originators in bundles of thousands and thousands called subprime mortgage bonds. They proceeded to slice these subprime mortgage bonds into pieces (called mortgage-backed securities or MBSs) to sell and distribute (for a profit, of course) to other investors hoping to stick their forks into this juicy meat of the real estate market.*

*How did the investors buying these MBSs make a profit? By collecting more interest on them for one, and by dispersing the risk of owning these subprime mortgages among other investors through the tranche system they set up for themselves. Don’t worry, I’ll go into more detail on this in just a few paragraphs.

These outright scams on poor folk hoping to own a home still wasn’t enough to satiate these greedy, gluttonous hogs. They took the subprime mortgage market one step further, and created one of the riskiest and highest-stake financial instruments, synthetic CDOs, to essentially bet on the outcome of this most assured housing disaster.

To start, normal, non-synthetic CDOs stand for collateral debt obligations which, when you break it down word for word, simply means a debt one is required to pay with collateral to back it up. In this case, if the house mortgage (the debt) is not paid in time according to the terms agreed on, then the collateral (the actual, physical house itself) is confiscated as the payment. 

[If this is still too confusing to grasp, don’t worry. It’s meant to be. These fuckers at the top are always obfuscating simple concepts with complicated-sounding jargon to make us feel like stupid, smooth-brained apes. But have no fear, Reddit is here to save you. I LOVE this subreddit ELI5 (Explain it Like I’m 5). Hopefully the top-rated post on that linked page can baby-talk and baby-walk you through the meaning of CDOs like it did for me.]

So we have these regular CDOs, which contained thousands of these subprime mortgage bonds with the real houses as collateral to back them up. To make matters even worse, the subprime mortgage bonds within these CDOs were only the worst and riskiest lower tranches (or “mezzanine” in their fancy bullshit jargon) of the subprime mortgage-backed securities (MBSs).

Thousands of subprime mortgages within a subprime mortgage bond were pooled together and divvied up to investors (as mortgage-backed securities), into layers called tranches. The lowest tranches posed the most risk for losses because they absorbed the first blow of defaults, but they also collected the highest interest (i.e., the most profit) on these subprime mortgages…provided they didn’t go into default. (That was a big IF of course). The higher the tranche level, the less risk involved (since the lower tranches were taking the losses before the higher tranches were), but the less profit you received from interest. It was a tradeoff between risk and reward for each tranche level, with the lowest level tranches yielding the highest risk and reward, and the highest level tranches receiving the lowest risk and therefore lowest reward in interest. 

Well, Goldman Sachs (the leader on Wall Street) and a few other Wall Street bank bullies found a clever way to build towers and towers of only the riskiest, lowest tranches of these subprime MBSs and crammed them into a CDO package. They proceeded to bring these nasty-smelling CDOs to the loan rating agencies, Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s, and literally bribed them with substantial payoffs to rate these terribly risky CDOs a “triple-A” rating! The very worst, lowest tranches of these thousands of subprime mortgage bonds crammed into these CDOs were putatively rated by Standard & Poor’s and Moody’s as “triple-A ,” meaning they were supposedly only the most secure and riskless of loans. 

It was all bull crap. Had the rating agencies not been bribed and had they looked into the contents of these CDOs, they’d find only “triple-B-rated” (the worst) types of loans. Yikes.

Ignorant investors who bought these putrid piles of dog crap CDOs from Goldman Sachs and the other bank bullies were fooled by the ratings. They took the ratings at face value, a perilous decision. Blinded by their greed, they bought as many of these CDOs as they could, not entirely understanding how risky the subprime mortgage bonds within these CDOS were. 

CDO investors* were essentially buying CDOs of the worst subprime mortgage bonds in existence. These subprime mortgages were destined to default in droves once the teaser rates on them expired and the homeowners couldn’t afford the adjusted mortgage payments. Defaulted loans meant these investors weren’t going to get paid once their investments in CDOs went to zero in value. They’d most assuredly lose all their money and more on these lazy investments which they failed to properly research before purchasing. Can you sense the impending doom that follows from these stupidly risky investments?

*Something to consider: international investment banks outside of America were also involved in this subprime mortgage mess. Such international banks involved in the CDO business: AIG FP (England), Germany Dusseldorf (Germany), Credit Suisse FP and Swiss Re FP(Switzerland), and Japan (Bank of Japan) among many others. The Great Recession which this subprime mortgage crisis warped into affected the whole world, not just America. 

That’s the situation with the regular, “organic” CDOs containing the lowest tranches of MBSs, which contained thousands of only the worst subprime mortgage bonds in existence. These CDOs in and of themselves were a real threat to the American (and global) economy. If they went sour, all of the ignorant investors and their associated firms that possessed these risky CDOs in their investment portfolios would take a massive—perhaps even fatal—fall, and would have to file for bankruptcy.  But it gets even worse than that. There was an additional layer of risky investments these bastards created on top of the regular CDOs. These were the synthetic CDOs.

Synthetic CDOs were different in that they contained nothing but essentially paper side bets on the performance of the regular CDOs and subprime mortgage bonds. Confused? Everyone in and out of Wall Street was confused by what this meant at the time. All according to Wall Street’s plan to obscure things and confuse everyone but themselves, naturally. 

Synthetic CDOs were not composed of the real subprime mortgages and the corresponding houses put up as collateral.  Rather, they contained only purchased and sold insurance on those regular CDOs. The “insurance” on those CDOs was better known as credit default swaps. Credit default swaps (CDSs) are insurance on a corporate bond—in this case, insurance on a subprime mortgage bond or a CDO filled with thousands and thousands of nothing but the worst subprime mortgage bonds. 

The buyer of the CDS—the buyer of the insurance on these subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs—agrees to make semiannual premium payments to the seller of the CDS over a fixed term, let’s say ten years, to insure those subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs. If the buyer pays $200,000 in premium payments annually over ten years, they stand to lose $2 million this way ($200,000/year x 10 years). The seller, however, stands to lose much more. 

On the seller’s side of the CDS agreement, the seller agrees to collect the semiannual premium payments from the CDS buyer (insurer) over the ten year period. This seems like an easy $2 million to make passively because essentially it is…if there wasn’t so much at stake in this situation. The seller of credit default swaps must also agree to fork over a boatload of cash to the CDS buyer/insurer if, at any point in those ten years, the seller defaults on their subprime mortgage bond and CDO investments. How much exactly would the seller of credit default swaps have to fork over? This zero-sum bet was so ineffably in favor of the outcome for the seller of credit default swaps, it held hundreds of millions to billions of dollars at stake on the seller’s side! 

In exchange for a comparatively measly $2 million from the CDS buyer over a possible span of ten years, the seller of such credit default swaps stood to lose hundreds of millions to billions of dollars on their end if their subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs defaulted at any point during that ten year period. And all it took for those subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs to be worth absolutely nothing was a default rate of just four to eight percent in each bond. Yikes. (Source for this data is The Big Short novel by Michael Lewis).

If you had to make that “bet” and buy credit default swaps that might cost you $2 million in ten years, to potentially make anywhere from one hundred million to a billion dollars should the seller at any point in that ten year span default on their very risky, highly-likely-to-default debt comprised of nothing but the worst subprime mortgage bonds in existence, would you lay your chips on the table? With risk minimized on your end, and odds in your favor to earn too much money to spend in your lifetime, why the hell wouldn’t you!? That’s exactly what hedge fund managers Steven Eisman, Michael Burry and the select few others cognizant of this situation did.

Michael Burry created this CDS goldmine opportunity by signing an ISDA agreement with Goldman Sachs. Goldman Sachs sniffed out this highly profitable opportunity and immediately went on the search for the perfect seller of credit default swaps on the other side of the bet. Goldman Sachs found the highly-rated, giant lending firm, AIG FP, a perfect fit for the job, and took a two percent cut off this zero-sum bet placed between the CDS buyers (e.g. Michael Burry and other investors shorting this market) and CDS sellers (e.g. AIG FP and other similar loan-lending companies). This amounted to an astronomical $400 million a year for Goldman Sachs to merely play the role of middleman for this asymmetrical, disastrous, zero-sum bet. (AIG FP would file for bankruptcy years later from this trickery, while Goldman Sachs gorged itself to a near-whopping $2 billion profit.) Goldman Sachs playing the middleman like this between the lose-all, win-all synthetic CDO bets laid the foundation for the wrecking ball to come crashing later.

AIG FP, the seller of the credit default swaps, was essentially betting for the subprime mortgage bonds to continue operating and making profits with no risk of defaulting and plummeting in value. Michael Burry and the other hedge fund guys who bought the credit default swaps were in essence betting against the entire subprime mortgage industry. They were betting on the subprime mortgage market to sink, along with all the Americans who took out these subprime mortgages.  Pretty morbid stuff, if you ask me. 

These synthetic CDOs, which inherently were just the purchased and sold credit default swaps (insurance) on these subprime mortgage-filled CDOs, were packaged together and traded between Wall Street desks for what would amount to tens of billions of dollars at stake. Inflated amounts of paper money were being weaved out of whole cloth. 

[To reiterate if you’re still confused: Normal CDOs contain the actual subprime mortgages with their corresponding houses put up as collateral in case of default. Synthetic CDOs, on the other hand, only consist of the purchased and sold credit default swaps (insurance) on those regular CDOs. The buyer of credit default swaps was expecting the other side to default on their subprime mortgages within the timeframe given on the CDS terms of agreement. The seller of credit default swaps on these CDOs expected the subprime mortgage bonds to continue making money for the investors without fail. This essentially made the synthetic CDOs nothing more than very expensive paper side bets on the performance of the original CDOs.]

So why does all this complicated stuff matter? As I said before, it laid out the foundation for the wrecking ball to come crashing. Trading these synthetic CDO papers worth tens of billions of dollars between white-collar, wealthy men in a zero-sum game meant the winners would win bigger than ever before, and the losers stood to lose everything and more. And that’s exactly what happened. In this case, though, there were only a select few winners. Everyone else stood to lose it all. It impacted not only Wall Street, but all of the infected American and international markets as well.

Bear Stearns, Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank, and Lehman Brothers (among plenty others) were so neck-deep in the subprime mortgage bond business, they risked drowning in debt if their investments poured over. And the tsunami came crashing down. Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Wachovia Bank, to name a few that come immediately to mind, no longer existed after the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis because their long positions on subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs wiped them out. With the biggest investment banks of America tanking, anyone directly or indirectly involved with those failing banks—those who invested with them, for instance—stood to lose everything as well. And they did. It was a dominoes effect that cascaded all the way down to the poor American families that would lose everything including the roof over their heads. 

The Aftermath of the 2008 Crisis

As subprime mortgage bonds and CDOs started defaulting at stellar rates between the middle of 2007 and 2008, bankers and traders heavily invested in the subprime mortgage game in one way or another panicked. Most of them were long on their subprime mortgage bond and CDO positions, meaning their investment portfolios contained either the regular CDOs, the synthetic CDOs, or both. Many of them were foolish enough to trade the riskiest synthetic CDOs. They went from passively collecting “easy” credit default swap premium payments from the CDS buyers/insurers, to owing the CDS buyers/insurers hundreds of millions to billions of dollars overnight. Most of these investment firms were so overleveraged (meaning they took out a whole lot of debt themselves to make these risky bets), they had no way of paying the CDS buyers on the other side of the bet without going under themselves. 

In a truly free, capitalist market, these investment banks should have been left for dead. They should have forked over the hefty fee on their risky CDO bets, went under, and learned a hard lesson from this. But of course, the rules of society didn’t apply to them. They ran crying to the “nanny,” aka the government, to bail them out. The nanny government hushed baby Wall Street,* kissed the boo boos away, and gave them their warm milk and blankets in the form of our tax dollars. Our tax dollars would be used to sell Wall Street these abominable CDSs (insurance) to cushion their fatal tumble to the ground. 

*YouTuber Andrew Rousso made an excellent depiction of this in one of his shorts. It’s extremely hilarious, but also probably NSFW. I warned you. Hopefully you can get a good laugh from the dark irony of it like I did:

 

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JFQMyxbMkcs

 

Once again, the innocent American people had to bail out the Wall Street culprits.  Hundreds of billions of dollars that destroyed the domestic as well as the international markets through outright fraud, and destroyed lower-income American families’ dreams of owning a home, were swept under the rug. Never mind that this blunder in the real estate markets led to the Great Recession as well. The true victims of this catastrophe were the normal American folk with the subprime mortgages. Yet despite their innocence in this twisted game, they were forced to clean up the mess Wall Street created. If your blood isn’t boiling, you either have the patience of a saint or you have become completely desensitized to the constant extortion of the people by this country’s financial sector. 

As a result of the 2008 Housing Crisis, lending practices were tightened and regulated. Subprime mortgages would no longer be a thing*, and Americans who clearly couldn’t afford them wouldn’t be lent them. While that specific area of real estate (mortgage lending) improved, a new menace to the real estate market was already taking root. This newly born scandal of Wall Street emerged from the ashes of the 2008 crisis. Its detrimental effects are still being realized today in 2023.

*I say this, but I’ve learned recently that Bank of America is starting to hand out NINJA loans again to targeted minority families….History sure has a way of repeating itself, doesn’t it? You really can’t make this stuff up.

What am I talking about here? Well, you see, when you don’t get punished for your crimes, you tend not to mull over your sins and repent. Rather, you learn that you can get away with anything scandalous and morally corrupt, and you push your luck further with even grander schemes next time around. Wall Street investors, private equity firms, and other real estate investors have contrived something even more disastrous today for hopeful homeowners (and the entire economy if I’m being honest). But if they aren’t allowed to hand out shady, subprime mortgage loans anymore, then what could they possibly do to mess up the real estate markets this time? 

Remember what I wrote earlier in this post? The subprime mortgage was the beginning of the end to homeownership by the average American.” The next section is where this falls into place.

The New Housing Crisis

The best answer relies on the quality of the questions asked. 

One day I asked myself the golden question: What, exactly, happened to those foreclosed homes from the 2008 crisis, and what, if any, effect did that have on the real estate markets of today? If you decided to research that question, you’d find that there was something more to unveil behind the curtains of the 2008 crisis.

If you pulled back those curtains post-2008 and took a peek, you’d find that investors were huddled together drooling over the succulent opportunity to mass-purchase foreclosed family homes from the aftermath of 2008. The alternative to refinancing your home when your subprime mortgage exploded in your face back then was losing it to foreclosure. Well, that foreclosed house eventually went to the auction house. 

Once everything was finalized—the exploited families were evicted from their homes in a trail of tears and the paperwork was all ready—the foreclosed houses were put up for sale at the auction. And they were sold at significantly discounted prices. Sounds like an investment opportunity for anyone to snatch up, right? The only catch, of course, was that you needed to buy those foreclosed homes in cash, and you could not inspect the houses beforehand. Those two conditions alone wiped out most regular American people from the pool for the investment opportunity of a lifetime. After all, who can afford to pay, in cash, that same day, a foreclosed home at $100,000? Only those with substantial assets and capital reserves could afford that. 

Those who had a lot of cash in hand—or enough collateral in assets to acquire leveraged cash through lenders—could buy up these foreclosed homes at bargain prices. I’m talking about up to twenty-five percent discounts, on average, on these foreclosed homes at the time. You can see that data here.

Not only that, but because you couldn’t inspect the foreclosed houses you were buying, it led to a whole lot of risk that most regular American families couldn’t afford to take on. Rather than run the risk of buying a foreclosed home that would need expensive repairs from damages left by spiteful evictees, regular American families sought homes the safer, traditional way. The opportunity to mass-purchase these discounted foreclosed homes at auctions was therefore set up ideally for wealthy investors, and wealthy investors alone.

Wall Street and other real estate investors smacked their lips and dug right into this money-making plate of opportunity. They bought up over 200,000 foreclosed homes the moment the market started recovering from The Great Recession (which they had caused, ironically), in 2012. Their plan for these foreclosed homes this time around? Rent them out to the very same families they personally screwed over from owning a home during the subprime mortgage crisis. Daniel Herriges of Strongtowns.org said it best:

“It’s fair to say that Wall Street ownership of single-family homes is a new trend. Its roots are in the wave of foreclosures that followed the 2006–2008 subprime mortgage crisis. This wave, and the subsequent rise in rental demand from displaced former homeowners, created a tantalizing opportunity for large-scale investors, and they seized it.”

When the subprime mortgage borrowers defaulted and were consequently evicted from their homes, they didn’t just find themselves homeless—they found themselves with terrible credit scores, too. The statute of limitations on a bad credit mark, depending on the state, takes anywhere from three to ten years to wipe off. These pitiful, homeless victims were no longer capable of even buying a house the traditional way for up to ten years. This left them with only two options: living with family members who actually had shelter for the time being, or more typically, renting. The door to a rental-focused market was opening. Guess who paved the way?

If you read that article from 2013 above, you’d see that Blackstone was one of the largest companies at the time buying up all the foreclosed homes from 2008. In 2012, JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley among many other Wall Street investment banks—the very same Wall Street banks that sold and securitized the subprime mortgages of 2008were institutional owners of Blackstone. Ponder that for a moment. The very culprits of Wall Street who detonated the housing market in 2008, resulting in the Great Recession, were back at it again in the real estate markets just four years later in 2012, as if 2008 never even occurred! This time they shrouded themselves in the Blackstone veil. 

It’s absolutely mind-boggling that these Wall Street investors were even permitted to dip their feet in the real estate market again, especially so soon after the national catastrophe they were complicit in creating just a few years earlier. But to no surprise to anyone with basic knowledge on the inner workings at play, they all got away with doing it again.

At this point the stage was set for brand new scandals. Remember the mortgage-backed securities (MBSs) of subprime mortgages? Thousands of subprime home mortgages were pooled together into subprime mortgage bonds, then these subprime mortgage bonds were divided up into different levels of risk called tranches? Remember how this exploded in all the investors’ faces when they didn’t account for all the MBSs of subprime mortgages that would default and be worth nothing in all tranches? Well, I bring this up because Wall Street didn’t learn from this mistake, either: Blackstone proposed the securitization of rental payments in 2013. 

This meant that Blackstone could sell the rental payments—generated from renting out its hoard of foreclosed homes—to investors through securities the same way they did with the MBSs of subprime mortgages in 2008. Risky investments of billions of dollars in securities that mirror the 2008 subprime MBSs and entangle all these investors together again. What could possibly go wrong?  

To them, it couldn’t have worked out better in their favor. With over ten million American families losing their homes to the 2008 crisis and their credit scores devastated as a result, renting was the only option for them. The rental business was set to boom. They were prepared to make disgusting amounts of wealth again. And they already factored into the equation the amount of bailout money they’d extract from regular Americans should it fail again.

“…[I]t’s just going to go on and on like this. Until the next crash—which is so much expected that credit agencies, which evaluate the status of firms, are now counting into their calculations the taxpayer bailout that they expect to come after the next crash.”

This is from Noam Chomsky’s book, Requiem for the American Dream. A very ominous message indeed, yet he couldn’t be more truthful, for if this “innovative rental business” of Wall Street and similar investors fails, guess who’s paying the price? Hint: it ain’t gonna be them.

Now that this horrific predicament is laid out before us, what comes next? The screw drills even deeper. The looming danger of this burgeoning rental business has compounded even further now, with copycats deciding to play along with the Wall Street boys. Private equity firms (big investment companies that use pooled wealthy investors’ money to buy out businesses and restructure them to turn over and sell for a profit just a few years later) have sniffed out Wall Street’s tactics in the real estate market and have decided to participate. TikTok and YouTube influencers like these privileged beneficiaries of nepotism touting the glories of real estate investing (and showing YOU how EASY it is to GeT RiCH bY BuYiNG tO ReNT oR FLiP!) have also followed suit. And these influencers’ followers have also joined the Wall Street game, taking the advice from their beloved influencers too seriously and renting out properties they own as rentals and Airbnbs in hopes of scavenging whatever crumbs of wealth remain of the American Dream. It has compounded to something worse and worse with each passing year, to the point where regular, middle-class folk are now entangled in the Wall Street web. This means that should Wall Street’s game crash yet again, the fates of the common, middle-class Americans enmeshed in this game will crash with it.

Can it get any worse than this? Unfortunately, it can. Enter iBuying and the heavily intrusive involvement of private equity firms in the real estate markets.

I already briefly mentioned private equity firms and will expound upon them in a bit, but what is iBuying? iBuying is the practice of companies purchasing homes directly from the owners in a quick, seamless, online sale. Zillow Offers, the iBuying branch of Zillow, purchased homes online directly from families, and hoarded them in their inventory for years, under the pretext they were “repairing” them to flip for profit. By hoarding all these homes in their inventory—which actual families could have bought instead—Zillow Offers artificially raised the prices on all of the single-family homes as a result. In this way, they finagled higher mortgages out of Americans by artificially tampering with the natural supply and demand of homes. This yielded a greater profit margin for them, of course. But it screwed over many families from affording a single-family home, too. 

Well, last year in November 2021, Zillow Offers lost to its own greed. It tanked, losing hundreds of millions of dollars in the process. That’s what you should get for tampering with the normal supply and demand of homes. Better stick to Zestimates, Zillow. 

Isn’t this good news? Yes and no. It’s great news that Zillow bit the bullet and dismantled Zillow Offers, ending their corrupt practices of tinkering with home prices artificially like this. But like the hydra effect, more snakes poked their heads out to play in the game afterwards. Opendoor became the new Zillow Offers, and continued the iBuying practice. (Source: “iBuying Trouble,” by Steven Levy [@Steven-Levy], Wired Magazine, May 2022.) 

iBuyers like Zillow and Opendoor artificially inflated house prices not only by prepping them and storing them in their dark cellars until the prices leavened, but also by selling a big chunk of them (at discount prices over twenty percent off market value) to institutional investors—institutional investors like private equity firms and Wall Street—when they weren’t selling quickly enough. According to Wired Magazine author Steven Levy of “iBuying Trouble,” upwards of twenty to forty percent of single-family homes throughout the United States were mass-purchased this way in the past few years alone! If you think that’s an insignificant percentage that in no way affects all house prices today, you should probably crawl back into your hole and wait for the apocalypse to come or something. Your head would already be too far buried in the sand to accept the truth for what it is.

Your concern meter should be through the roof right now. We have some companies like Opendoor and Zillow hoarding single-family homes to artificially raise prices on them, and then selling them wholesale to institutional investors at big discounts if they can’t sell them to regular American folks “fast enough”. (Where’s our discounted house prices? Why not just sell those discounted house prices to us instead of Wall Street?) Essentially, one wholesale retailer of homes is selling the unwanted homes to another wholesale retailer, compounding the hoarding problem even more. This institutional buying and hoarding of houses by Opendoor, Zillow, and the like has made buying for first-time home buyers—and renting for those unable to buy a home—just barely affordable in less popular areas, and simply unaffordable in more popular areas. Yet Wall Street and other institutional firms who already own excessive amounts of wealth get the discounts. It’s truly remarkable how this is playing out.

To add fuel to this already blazing fire, private equity firms are now officially the most dominant overseers of rental properties. According to that ProPublica report just linked, private equity firms are behind 85% of Freddie Mac’s biggest apartment complex deals. And the tenants of these apartment buildings are not happy about it.  

The stories of tenants interviewed in this ProPublica article are glaringly negative on private equity firms’ takeover of the rental business. Rather than noticing improvements from these takeovers in their apartment buildings, tenants are only grieving on what once was.

“Rents soared. Trash collected in the hallways and on the rooftop deck…The security guard showed up less often. One tenant said she was frightened when she encountered a large, seemingly drunk man she didn’t know dancing in a leotard and tutu in the parking garage. Another renter described having to heat her bathwater on the stove after she woke several times to find only cold water flowing from her tap.”

Does that sound like private equity firms are doing more good or harm for tenants?

You might be wondering why private equity firms allow the quality of services in their own apartment buildings to go downhill. After all, isn’t it counterintuitive to displease your own customers? The answer is pretty unsettling: it’s simply because they don’t need to care.

Private equity firms flip these apartment buildings for a profit just a few years after acquiring them. That’s what private equity firms do best. They resell and abandon post with no strings attached. They’re just a pool of wealthy investors’ money, with a leader at the top making the executive decisions, set on one goal and one goal only: making profits for all their shareholders. During the process of flipping and selling these multifamily apartment buildings in the typically ten-year timespan they spend restructuring the businesses, private equity firms don’t invest too much of their time worrying about the tenants’ overall satisfaction. Tenants don’t matter. The only thing that talks and is heard by private equity firms is money.  

To reiterate and drill the message further, private equity firms don’t give a hoot about the well-being of their tenants, and they don’t have to. The only thing they concern themselves with are the profits they can extract from their tenants: 

“Private equity firms often act like a corporate version of a house flipper: They seek deals on apartment buildings, slash costs or hike rents to boost income, then unload the buildings at a higher price.

The influx of private equity comes during a national affordable housing crisis and has dire consequences…Such firms use economies of scale to more aggressively squeeze profits from their buildings than traditional landlords usually do…The firms’ tactics can include sharply increasing rent or fees and neglecting upkeep. Sometimes landlords force out existing tenants and replace them with those who can pay more.” –ProPublica

Please tell me where I can find the good news in this? Because they now dominate the multifamily rental business, private equity firms can continue to dictate higher and higher rent prices on tenants, simultaneously lower standards of living by cutting costs and services provided to these tenants, and, best part, completely get away with it. It’s sickening and extremely concerning for the livelihoods of non-wealthy Americans. It’s also rather ironic, considering Americans in the 1960s and 1970s regarded such apartment complex living as dystopian.

Take this newspaper article from 1971, for example. In Syliva Porter’s article, Soviet Lifestyle Still Inadequate, she writes of the Soviet communal housing: 

Housing for Ivan [the hypothetical citizen of Moscow used as a figurative example in this article] remains dreadfully cramped…Soviet housing is “notorious for its scarcity, poor quality of construction, and problems of maintenance.”

Honestly, is there any difference between Soviet housing then and American housing today? I don’t see any glaring differences. Oh! Except it costs way more to live in these cramped, dilapidated units in America! You gotta love when capitalism copies certain aspects of socialism (communal apartments), but adds a capitalist price tag to it. Talk about the very worst of both worlds… Such is the result when you allow greedy, wealthy investors to control such a vital component to living as shelter. 

[To summarize this section, we have a dire situation where Wall Street and other big real estate investors have opportunistically bought up significantly discounted foreclosed homes at auctions from the 2008 crisis. They hoarded these houses to rent out to the very Americans they robbed from owning homes during the subprime mortgage crisis. iBuying businesses such as ZillowOffers and the newer Opendoor have followed suit and started hoarding their own homes to flip for profit or rent out. When these iBuyers can’t profit from these malicious manipulations of the real estate market, they sell them wholesale, at significant discounts, to Wall Street and similarly wealthy investors. Private equity firms are one such problematic group of investors that have virtually taken over the rental markets in America today. Private equity’s single focus on profits has resulted in rental rates soaring, but with apartment conditions and services worsening to cut back on costs so shareholders profit more.] 

You may be wondering, can it get any worse than this? I may seem to be beating a dead horse with this message, but it’s truly, remarkably, worsening each passing year. The situation Wall Street and similar investors have placed the average American in today is downright dreadful. 

Hoarding single-family homes have artificially driven up the prices on both rentals and home mortgages, to unforeseen levels. A New Jersey house that was $200,000 just a year ago is now $300,000, a $100K increase in a span of just one year. This was a fairly typical phenomenon not just in New Jersey, but nationwide. From this NYT article, for example: “Between soaring prices and rising rates, the typical home buyer in October [2022] paid 77 percent more on their loan, per month, than they would have last year, according to Realtor.com.” And trust me, it isn’t “repairs” or “improvements on the home” that made the prices jump so high. It’s the same raggedy old house on the same plot of land with some minor improvements at best. It was the big honchos’ blatant manipulation of the markets using the tactics described above that made this happen. But we have one other major party to blame for all of this real estate drama in this messed up game: the government. 

Journalist Karl Evers-Hillstrom from Opensecrets.org wrote a rather insightful article on this topic of concern. He claims that ever since OpenSecrets started tracking lawmakers’ finances from 2008 onward,  Congress has invested the most in real estate out of any other industry. This isn’t too surprising, of course, considering wealthy politicians are only wealthy because they’re endorsed by similarly wealthy investors. Wealthy politicians bailed out these Wall Street investor scum (with our tax money, remember?) during the 2008 crisis. Why would that change now? 

What is most concerning about that OpenSecrets article, however, is how these fuckers surreptitiously slipped in real estate provisions to the $2.2 trillion CARES act. Under these provisions, wealthy real estate investors will save billions in taxes through bullshit reasons like counting real estate depreciations towards tax deductions. 

“The Joint Committee on Taxation estimated that the tax changes will save taxpayers $135 billion over 10 years, with the vast majority of the benefit going to households making at least $1 million,” states Evers-Hillstrom. “President Donald Trump and his family members could personally benefit from the CARES Act, given their extensive investments in real estate,” he continues. “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and her husband Paul, a real estate investor, have millions of dollars invested in several properties.” 

Would you look at that! Once again, both political parties are involved in this forthcoming real estate disaster. Didn’t I already mention in a previous blog post that both political parties are actually on the same team? Well, here’s proof of that concept once again.

My point in bringing up the direct involvement of the government in real estate is to drive home the message that, when the next real estate crisis comes—which, at the rate it’s going, it inevitably will—you should absolutely not expect the government to save the regular American people. Ironically, it is the regular American people who will get screwed from this the most and have to bail out the bad guys yet again. How comforting to know.  

The Final Act

The stage for the next disaster has been set. It’s been set for years, actually, since the aftermath of the 2008 crisis. Private equity firms and other such wealthy investors derived from Wall Street have pounced on the opportunity for the bonanza of their lifetime, wholesale-purchasing and hoarding these discounted single-family homes to use as rentals for peak profits. It’s only worsened with each passing year as more and more real estate discounts and deductibles—granted only to the wealthiest investors—have slipped into policies right under regular American citizens’ noses. 

Now the final act is about to play out. What that entails, nobody quite knows. But we’ve seen so much of the plot already, we can make some reasonably educated guesses as to what’s going to happen this time around. 

I’ll premise my hypothesis for the next real estate crisis with this quote by Michael Lewis from his book The Big Short:

“The opacity and complexity of the bond market was, for big Wall Street firms, a huge advantage. The bond market customer lived in perpetual fear of what he didn’t know. If Wall Street bond departments were increasingly the source of Wall Street profits, it was in part because of this: In the bond market it was still possible to make huge sums of money from the fear, and the ignorance, of customers.(bolded for emphasis)

Although Lewis was referring to the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis when he wrote this, the quote applies to today’s situation just as much, if not more. As usual, most people are in the dark about what’s really going on in the real estate markets today. It’s not our fault by any means, but Wall Street bond investors,’ because these jerks purposely obscure and confuse us to hold their oppressive rule over us. They even pay off soulless bloggers and journalist shills like these to write bullshit articles about how well the housing market is doing and how, no, absolutely not, under no circumstances whatsoever, is there a housing bubble! Once again, these messages are laced with nothing but lies to lull the average American into false senses of security. 

I remember researching the housing market in 2020 because of my suspicions then, only to find articles like these touting the impossibility of a housing bubble and subsequent crash. Now when you Google “housing bubble” or “housing crash,” just two years later, you get the exact opposite search results! (Go ahead, try it for yourself. Here’s what I got):

If I were a betting person, I would bet my life savings that Wall Street and the rest of the lot paid these “journalist” shills two years ago to keep quiet on the matter so they could continue deluding us. Money talks to silence others. 

There was one additional benefit to this underhanded method of deception by Wall Street, and that was to instill fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD) in American citizens. They wanted it so Americans looking to buy their first homes or move to a new location would look at the drastically rising house prices and panic. “In the bond market it was still possible to make huge sums of money from the fear, and the ignorance, of customers.” How does this FUD turn into profits for Wall Street? Here is where psychology plays a major role in the consumers’ decisions:

FUD makes people desperate. FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) starts to take root. Customers looking to buy a home in 2020 start browsing and find, amazingly, that houses are starting to skyrocket in price. They bide their time in hopes of finding better deals later. They look just a year later in 2021, and find that the house prices have risen up to $100K in that small span of time!

If you were these potential homebuyers, imagine how you’d feel observing this unwarranted spike in housing prices. You’d probably be freaking out (FUD), wondering when, if ever, the house prices would settle to something more reasonable you could afford. As more and more time passes, the house prices through the end of 2021 have not only remained the same, but have continued to soar. 

At this point as a potential homebuyer, you’d probably be feeling significant FOMO on owning a home whose price could continue to climb upwards. You might think, “I better buy a house NOW, or I won’t be able to afford it later!” Or, “Man, I could flip one of these houses in a couple years for WAY MORE at the rate they keep climbing in price!”  And so these potential customers play right into the hands of the conniving Wall Street investors, bidding up higher and higher above the asking prices of these already inflated houses. A house priced at $300,000 starts receiving multiple offers above asking price for $350,000, maybe even up to $400,000. The sale goes to the highest bidder, who has now offered $50,000 to $100,000 more on an already inflated house price. What could go wrong? 

Psychology is truly fascinating, because as illogical as this may all seem, this is really happening in the markets today. People are letting the FUD and FOMO take over their reasoning, panic-buying already overpriced houses well above the asking price! They are compounding one problem over another out of fear and ignorance. They’re also being fooled by the prices themselves. 

Take this Psychology Today article about high prices attracting customers, deluding them into thinking the higher the price, the higher the value. “High prices attract consumers when assessing quality is difficult,” writes Utpal Dholakia. “When a product’s quality is hard to assess, that’s when savvy marketers tend to set prices at a high level to signal that they are selling high-quality items.” 

This housing market today is already baffling; imagine trying to figure out the real prices on these homes by yourself? You’d probably want to leave it to the professionals, too. But unfortunately for you, these professionals are either being duped themselves or duping you for profit. 

“In the bond market it was still possible to make huge sums of money from the fear, and the ignorance, of customers.” Once again I put this quote here, because it is the recurring theme for Wall Street’s Final Act. Do you see where I’m getting at here? FUD from this real estate market created the FOMO on buying a home. FOMO made potential homebuyers desperate enough to bid above asking price on these homes. The high prices on these houses led to the psychological delusion of high value, confirming potential homebuyers’ decisions to buy now at whatever price they could, rather than wait and risk the prices rising even more. Wall Street banked on these consumer behaviors to further exploit the people. 

We are now at the climax of this performance. This is where it gets really ugly for future prospects of the real estate markets. 

New homeowners today have been fooled into buying, well above asking price, homes that are already overpriced. Do you remember what happened in the subprime mortgage market when cash-strapped Americans couldn’t afford their mortgage payments? They’d either 1) refinance or 2) default and lose their homes. 

To refinance, your house needs to appreciate in value or the federal mortgage interest rate has to go down below your current rate. Well, mortgage interest rates are climbing higher than they have since the 1980s, so your only option, really, is to pray that your house doesn’t depreciate in value so you can refinance if you need to. For if your home depreciates, your mortgage will cost more than the actual value of your home, and you’ll be stuck with negative equity. Negative equity means you ain’t gonna be able to refinance because your house is literally worth less than your mortgage loan. Your second prayer would probably be that you never have emergencies where you’d need to refinance your home, since you wouldn’t be able to. 

How’s the 2008 subprime mortgage market looking now? Probably a lot more innocent and less deceitful by comparison, eh? 

This is the situation we find ourselves in today. We all better hope these newer homebuyers in this unjustly manipulated market won’t need to refinance their homes during an emergency. For if they do, and they find themselve unable to refinance because they bidded too high on their house price when its real worth was worth a whole lot less; or if the mortgage rates keep climbing the way they are thanks to the impotent Federal Reserve, then we’ll all be in deep trouble. The homebuyers with the overpriced mortgages they can’t afford anymore and who are unable to refinance will default in droves once again. Can you guess what will happen next? This is starting to sound familiar, isn’t it?

Repeat the aftermath of 2008. All. Over. Again. Massive defaults on homes. Subsequently losing those homes to foreclosure. Placing those foreclosed homes on sale at auctions. Investors will have a whole new wave of discounted homes for sale to mass-purchase and rent out for profit once more! And that means more rental income for them, which most likely means even higher rents and home mortgages for us the next time around! The only problem is, next time around, private equity and other Wall Street investors will own the majority of homes and rentals in the US. From their track record so far, that’s a rather terrible sign, isn’t it? Can you even imagine such a dystopian reality? I’ve been plagued with this FUD for months now. 

You may think I’m being a doomer here. I get it, it’s a rather gloomy viewpoint on the matter. But there’s objective evidence this has already happened and continues to happen between the elite of Wall Street and the normal American people. Consider the simple fact that 75% of homebuyers from Covid times are already regretting their home purchases. This alone is an ominous indication that things are going to get much worse. 

These homeowners now regret having bidded too high above asking price on their Covid-era homes ridden with hidden repair costs. What’s worse for them is the fact that they probably bought a house that was already overpriced to begin with (due to all the parties involved and reasons already mentioned earlier) before they even factored into the equation those hidden repair costs and above-asking-price bids. 

We know that if these houses cannot be refinanced when it’s desperately needed, these American families are going to be at severe risk of defaulting on their mortgages if they can’t find a way to afford them. As grave as this seems, there’s already evidence that this exact scenario will come to fruition. All we need to do to confirm this theory is to observe the performances of the largest refinancing companies from this year and last. The Wall Street Journal has already done extensive research on one of the largest refinancing lenders, Rocket Mortgage. 

Having displaced investment banks as the largest issuer of U.S. mortgages today, Rocket is one of the fastest-growing mortgage originators and refinancers in the country. According to this WSJ article, Rocket grew from issuing $12 billion in mortgages in 2008, to a whopping $320 billion in 2020. Obviously, business has been soaring to the moon for Rocket.

Recently, that’s come to a standstill. Rocket has been experiencing less and less eligible homes for refinancing of late. The first graph of this WSJ article shows the number of homeowners who are able to save money by refinancing today. That number has taken a major dive, plummeting from a peak of 19 million eligible homes in 2020, to just 133,000 households with today’s 7% mortgage rates! I really can’t believe this number myself, but it’s the incredibly alarming truth of the situation. What’s even more alarming is the fact that the Mortgage Bankers Association projects an even greater drop in refinancings for 2023. Imagine it getting worse than the mere 133,000 U.S. houses currently eligible for beneficial refinancing..! The truth gets scarier and scarier with each agonizing day.

With statistics such as these, it’s hopeless to expect Americans to come out of this new housing crisis unscathed. Any new homeowners currently burdened with finances (and who isn’t hurting a little bit post-Covid?) will most likely be unqualified to refinance their homes for at least the next few years, as interest rates climb up higher and higher and new house prices refuse to budge to any notable extent. 

It already looks like Rocket is suffering major casualties from its dependency on refinancing. Last year alone, refinancing accounted for 82% of Rocket’s total dollar volume. Although not perfectly aligned, Rocket’s business performance is closely correlated with the number of currently eligible homes for refinancing. If there aren’t many houses eligible for refinancing, then by this logic, approximately 82% of Rocket’s current business plummets. Welp…Rocket’s stock performance has already fallen by half in one year alone. If you look at its public stock performance, it peaked in December 2021 at $15.92 a share. In December 2022 that number fell to $8.49 a share:

Doesn’t this seem to imply that a large number of households are already deemed ineligible for refinancing through companies like Rocket? It’s not a perfect indication, but it’s certainly pointing in the direction of a refinancing crisis. And it’s most likely only getting worse in 2023, when refinancing is projected to decline even more.

This might be doomerish speculation to some, but the statistics and financial journals of today are only supporting my hypothesis. We’re not merely suffering a housing crisis today. We’re encountering a refinancing crisis, too. It’s safe to say that if a large number of American families in need of refinancing find themselves ineligible in the coming years and end up defaulting on their mortgages, potential first-time home buyers are screwed.

It will be the Final Act of Wall Street. The last time they pull strings like this before they take over the real estate industry entirely. As more and more of these homes in need of refinancing default in the coming years, more and more of these single-family homes will be bought at discounts at auction sales (yet again) and shelved in Wall Street’s inventories once more. Their prices will continue to artificially rise or refuse to budge. And Wall Street will soon have free rein to dictate whatever mortgage prices and rental rates they want to extort from the American people. 

They managed to rake in even more of these homes during the Covid crisis lockdown, too, when the Federal Reserve was either too stupid or too corrupt and decided to lower interest rates to nearly zero in 2020. The moment the greediest investors heard news of this nationwide sale on homes, they swooped in to buy as many as they could. They stuffed these new purchases at discount mortgage rates into their already expansive housing inventories for future price gouging. Meanwhile, so many young people today are desperately seeking homes for themselves to start a family. 

It’s a depressing reality Americans face today, especially for the youth. Inflation as it is today has already rendered the middle-class poor. The middle-class purchasing power has been steadily shrinking from inflation and stagflation (aka where are our damn raises?), yet we are somehow expected to pay even more on groceries, gas, homes, and rent. 

While we struggle just to survive in this economy, Wall Street and its government buddies have been sipping on scotch and slurping down shrimp cocktails like the good times never left. Wall Street and the federal government have taken on dictatorship roles that have turned our country into a capitalistic dystopia, where young families can have both partners working full-time and still can’t afford a roof over their heads. They don’t see a problem with this. For them, it’s just paper trades worth hundreds of billions of dollars on the outcome of our livelihood.

WE Draw the Line

The picture I painted throughout this post has been rather somber. I don’t try to be a doomer. I try to be as realistic as possible in any given situation, with facts and critical analysis to back up my points . But the reality is, it’s pretty fucking depressing…(sorry, just being honest…)

That being said, I wanted to make one final remark. I quoted Noam Chomsky earlier, but intentionally redacted the full quote. I wanted to end this on a more hopeful note, so I’m including the quote in its entirety here (in bold):

If the population allows it to proceed,  it’s just going to go on and on like this. Until the next crash—which is so much expected that credit agencies, which evaluate the status of firms, are now counting into their calculations the taxpayer bailout that they expect to come after the next crash.”

“If the population allows it to proceed,” we’ll be forced to take on larger and larger amounts of debt for the same basic essentials we all need to survive. “If the population allows it to proceed,” we’ll have to bend over backwards for them and take the price gouging on rents and mortgages right up our arses. “If the population allows it to proceed,” Wall Street and its circle of jerks will continue to bully us the way they have all these years. 

But we don’t have to keep taking their bullshit. We can start taking action just by voting—in EVERY election. We can vote out the seediest politicians (aka most of them). We can also call our local statesmen and stateswomen to express our concerns. We can contact the White House regularly to disclose our true feelings on every single matter and threaten to take our votes elsewhere if they don’t give us what we want. We can protest on the streets in front of the White House and other buildings that house these politicians. We can stick our noses up at Wall Street’s lofty price tags on homes and rentals that we need to live in to survive, and stick it to them by sharing living spaces with roommates or moving back to parents’ homes until We the Customers dictate the prices again. If we joined together to fight back one way or another, we could make them bend to our will. 

If you don’t believe this is possible, consider this: It was our tax money that bailed them out in 2008 and many times before and after. It’s our money that purchases their goods and services. It’s our decision where our money goes. So it is absolutely in our power to decide what the prices of everything will be…if we just fight back.  

It’s high time they return the favor to us for bailing them out in a rough spot. This iBuying and hoarding nonsense needs to end now. Their price gouging on mortgages and rentals needs to stop now. If we joined together and stood against them and demanded the government hold them accountable for their reckless investments, we could finally elicit positive change in the financial sector again. The People hold the true power and value. Wall Street is just a bunch of expensive, but nevertheless worthless, paper. 

Mommy Menace


A personal account of generational abuse. 

Disclaimer: 
I will start off by saying I’m not sharing this very personal account for sympathy or pity points. I’m not seeking that from you, because I’m not a believer in victimhood. I believe to truly rise from any state of oppression a better and more improved individual—the most dignified and respectable path to take—epitomizes revenge. Jerry Seinfeld said it best: the best revenge is living well. I ended up becoming a three-time, multi-state Judo champion in just four years of training, and even managed to build this website on my own to read and write more. My siblings went on to succeed in their own fabulous ways. We’re doing OK for what it’s worth. But those battle scars from early childhood abuse still haven’t healed completely to this day, which is precisely why I’m writing this post. The reasons for sharing this story of mine are twofold: to provide insight into the harsh and abusive nature of a narcissistic parent, and to delve into the psychological and generational repercussions the children suffer thereafter.  Beyond lies the story of a narcissistic, loveless mother… Get ready for a tense ride.


My mother despised me. I often wondered what I did wrong, or what about me specifically made me such an unlovable person to her. It certainly didn’t help that my mother was all too happy to affirm this feeling any given time she felt was necessary. “Chloe, you’ll always be alone.” That was one of my (ironically) favorite quotes I’ll never forget emerged from her mouth all too willingly. Words intent on cutting me down peg by peg. My mother was a diehard proponent for corporal punishment, but it was her cruel words that bruised in deeper shades than the beatings. 

The explosive tirades my mother would suddenly burst out on us, her children, on any given day, were as calculating as they were unconstrained, intent on shattering self-esteem. She had a knack for identifying secret weak spots—vulnerabilities or characteristic ‘defects’— and would all too delightfully expose them to anyone listening nearby, any empathy or concern for our privacy thrown out the window right into the trash can. Coupled with her helicopter-style reign of control, it was a consistent disaster in the making, for you couldn’t escape her smothering helicopter-parenting, so you had no choice but to regularly endure her verbal and physical abuse.  And I’m not exaggerating. It was abuse in the purest sense and form, because the intention was always to harm us in one way or another.  

“A mother would never do things to intentionally hurt her children,” you might argue. “She made mistakes, like all humans do.” To which I would ardently reply: “You haven’t seen the inner workings of mine.” I know my mother’s intentions were meant to harm us. Why else would a mother do to her children what I will describe in detail below? It is nothing short of cruelty, a demon dancing to the cries of children.

My first prominent memory of abuse begins with my older sister and I having a grand old time jumping around on the living room couch. I couldn’t have been older than four or five, so my older sister was six or seven, latest, at the time. Our little bodies, pent up with such fizzy vitality, decided that couch-jumping was a perfect way to release some of our endless bubbling energy. Giggling and bouncing about, our young imaginations wild with game ideas for this new endeavor, abruptly ended when we spotted our mother. I can remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday: My mother gasped, mouth wide open. We stopped dead cold in our tracks, smiles wiped from our faces instantly. The hauntingly still scene before us broke when she ran to fetch The Stick. The Stick was a black vacuum pole attachment, about a yard long, my mother’s favored weapon of choice for corporal punishment. 

She went for my older sister first. She threw my sister over her lap, pulled down her pants to expose bare cheeks (bare skin hurts worse after all), and ruthlessly flogged my sister before my very young eyes, each loud clapping of The Stick upon my sister’s bottom resounding through the room like cracks of thunder. Like a deer in headlights, or more appropriately, a child watching a horror movie for the first time, I could simply watch, aghast, as my sister’s wailing face shifted from scarlet red to royal purple. It was the face I remembered more vividly than her piercing cries, because it was a face contorted with anguish, like that from a painting. As I continued to gawk at this scene before me in a dumbfounded stupor, I realized too late afterward that I would be next for the beating. 

I couldn’t will myself to run away and hide. I was paralyzed where I stood. The shock of seeing my older sister suffering, coupled with the inevitability of the situation—that my mother was stronger and faster than my little body could even hope to compete with—disabled my movement. I already accepted my fate after she finished pounding on my sister and reached her wicked claws out for me. I, a little four- or five-year old girl, took the beating as well as my older sister had. Perhaps it was worse for me because, preceding my beating, I was forced to witness and have forever ingrained in my mind the image of a wailing mouth and a tortured pain etched across my sister’s face. But then again, my sister could have suffered the same fate watching me while recovering from her beating. I was too busy taking the beating to have taken notice.

Another similar, psychologically agonizing memory that will forever tear up my heart remembering is the face of my younger brother after a trip to the mall.  My brother couldn’t have been older than six or seven at the time, so I was around eight years old. My brother was growing impatient waiting around at the mall while my mother shopped, so he made a little fuss, stomped around, and pouted in defiance. This “scene” my brother had made stewed up a broiling rage in my mother. “You wait till we get home,” my mother seethed through gritted teeth. (This was one of her more commonly used lines preceding a vengeful beating.) My brother and I both knew what this meant at that point in our lives. Panic pulsated through my veins and my heart thudded against my chest when I realized what my brother was about to endure, when “we got home.” If that wasn’t enough, my mother felt it was necessary to drive the message further in the car ride home. “You’re never going to make a scene like that at the mall again. Just you wait till I’m finished with you.” She hissed and seethed and raged the entire trip home with her portents of torture. My little brother was a trembling, sobbing wreck the whole ride home. 

When our old blue van inexorably rolled into our driveway, inanimately unaware that it drove us right to the front door of our torture chamber, I was left with the last photographic image of my brother before he was taken to his room for a brutal beating. As I opened the car door, my mother ordered him to his room in an inexplicably hateful tone: “Get in your room.” The cold, authoritarian tone in her voice when she’d say that sucked the soul right out of your body. It would reduce you to feeling like nothing more than a conglomerate of organs ready for butchering. 

My brother exited the car. The last thing I witnessed leaving our vehicle was a small child, a pained little face of desperation mixed with fear. Tears were streaming down his sad, deflated face as he gasped for air between sobs. I can still remember how utterly sad and fearful those leaking blue eyes looked before he went into the house to prepare for his beating. I had to walk into the house where my mother rushed to her usual storage closet in the first floor bathroom, snatched The Stick, and rushed upstairs all too eagerly to mercilessly beat the shrill screams out of my little brother. I was left to tremble and pray downstairs, to a God I naively once believed in, for my brother’s survival. 

[Forgive my short digression here, but I must admit something. As I type out these personal memories from my childhood here, an intense rage is boiling inside me and I’m forcing back burning tears. I just cannot understand how a parent—especially a mother—could so willingly and brutally beat her own small creations, her little, trembling children cowering in fear beneath her, and over such seemingly trivial issues, too. Such regular occurrences for any child-rearing experience (read misbehaving in public places or jumping on couches), and yet the accompanying punishment so disproportionately severe.  It is both revolting and infuriating to think about how she terrorized such helpless children over molehill circumstances, and forever traumatized them all in the process (a not-so-molehilly consequence thereafter). There were plenty of beatings from The Stick, by her hand—too many to recount and too many suppressed in the subconscious, to avoid further trauma. Only the most brutal of them have found a way out of my protective subconscious barrier and onto this digital paper. And there are more yet to tell…]

As brutal as our childhood beatings were, they were comparatively less pernicious in the long run than the emotional abuse. In situations of physical abuse, the victims eventually grow bigger and stronger. A good lot of physical abuse victims eventually go on to practice weight lifting or a martial arts fighting style to fend off their abusers. With enough training and time under their belt, they can eventually subdue their abusers. I’m proud to belong in the group that did.

Fascinated by martial arts since I was a young child (Goku from Dragon Ball Z being my main source of inspiration for it all), I joined my younger brother in Korean Tang Soo Do martial arts classes at the age of seven. Tang Soo Do incorporates swift, flashy kicks that can inflict decent damage with enough practiced reps. I trained consistently, three to four days a week, and with enough kicking reps and knuckle push ups under my belt, I found myself growing stronger. Five years later, I found myself strong enough to finally fend off my raging mother. I vividly remember that moment of victory occurring in the bedroom I shared with my other two sisters: 

I, a hormonal pre-teen, had just “copped an attitude” with my mother about some insignificant event that neither of us remember now. It probably had something to do with her assigning me extra cleaning chores—a Cinderella-type punishment she was fond of implementing whenever she was feeling extra punitive— alongside my other punishment chores tasked to me for whatever else I had purportedly done wrong that day. So when she assigned her vengeful, extra Cinderella tasks to me, I must have made a passing remark, a snide comment, something along the lines of “Yipee” or “Woohoo” in /s fashion, that awoke her animal instincts for fighting.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?” She bellowed something along these lines to me. Before I could even get another snarky word in edgewise, she was practically stumbling over her own feet to that first floor bathroom closet to retrieve her prized Stick. Little did she know that the instinct to fight was stirring inside me at that moment, too.

As she rushed to my bedroom, I stood still in my place. I braced myself for the first strike of The Stick. WHAM! Right on my left outer thigh, I felt the burning, stinging impact of the hard, plastic Stick against my bare skin. A large, red welt was already forming at the targeted spot on my thigh just a moment later. I clenched my teeth tightly together, but otherwise made no indication that I had felt that pain. Pain was viewed as a weakness and something you needed to hide in that household. I looked her dead in the eyes, and told her rather cooly, “You’re not going to strike me anymore.”

When a predator finds its prey suddenly returning blows, it’s taken aback at first. It may even take a few literal steps back in anticipation of a real threat, like a dog backing away from a feisty and ticked off cat. Not my mother. The idea of her ‘inferior’ child prey standing up against her had her seeing blazing red. I knew better than to think that’s all it would take to stand my ground against her. 

“Oh, so you think you’re pretty tough now, huh?” My mother scoffed. Then she readied The Stick for another blistering strike. The next moments proceeded in a frenzied blur. The moment she raised The Stick up a second time, my animal instincts finally took over me. I ran up to her and immediately closed the distance between us. I clinched up with her and tussled with her standing up. She tried to bring The Stick up again to strike me, but it was useless. The Stick’s range for striking was severely limited with me holding her in a clinch. 

While in the clinch I found the strength to actually throw (preceding my Judo years, mind you) my own mother onto the ground. The Stick tumbled to her side. I grabbed it and, unlike my mother, showed mercy in this moment of triumph. Rather than deliver the same punishment unto her, I took the higher road and firmly declared she would never strike me again. And she never did strike me with The Stick again after that. I reveled in this proud moment for as long as I could. I had achieved the unthinkable. I had suppressed my oppressor! Anything seemed possible to me now. At least I knew now that I could square up against a ruthless dictator.  

How naive and foolish I was. For that joyous moment would soon be squashed like all the other ones before, but this time by her words, not by her hands.  Like the ruthless dictator she is, my mother found other effective strategies to keep me under her authoritarian control. Emotionally abusive mechanisms would soon enter the regime, chaining me to her tyrannical reign once more.

Having found herself in this precarious situation—that her children were growing bigger and stronger by the years—she learned very quickly that other forms of abuse would be needed for her to remain in power. Physical beatings alone just weren’t cutting it anymore.  And as a desperate dictator is wont to do, she grasped for any plausible mechanisms to control. She found success in other devious forms of manipulation: searching for vulnerabilities in her children with which to hit below the belt; unleashing private, hidden secrets to humiliate us with; and the good ol’ ‘divide and conquer’ strategy (that any Big Government knows all too well about to remain in power). This last strategy would triangulate and ensure that we, the siblings, never got too close to each other and banded together to revolt. This was especially important to my mother. She never wanted her children to realize they had latent potential to join forces and overthrow their ruler. She either needed to keep us silenced, or divided. To do that would rely on the basics, the foundation upon which all of the manipulation rested on: our self-esteem. 

My mother loved cutting our self-esteem down into little pieces, chop by chop. She would search for any weakness she could find about you. And then she’d set about making you feel as worthless as possible. When we started experiencing major hormonal changes in our bodies, for instance, which included the development of the quintessential teenage acne, she would all too lovingly refer to us as “walking zits.” In hindsight, our acne ranged from low to moderate in severity, but boy, did our mother love to make us feel otherwise! The smallest red blister or whitehead that poked its head would have her go off on a tantrum about us being pizza-faces, grease monkeys, or the notorious “walking zit.” If the acne-shaming weren’t enough, she also had a keen fascination for making all of her daughters feel as fat and ashamed of themselves as humanly possible.  Any time my sisters and I would gain a few pounds, she’d make us feel as fat as fifty pounds over: “Why don’t you keep eating?” (/s) “All you care about is eating and eating and eating.” “Boy, your sister has gotten rather big and bloated, hasn’t she?” “Wow, she’s really puffed up this month.” A personal one aimed at me was: “Chloe, when you gain five pounds, you look like you’ve gained twenty.” Thanks, ‘mom!’ I know I can count on you when I’m feeling down about myself! 

I don’t know which was more upsetting: the fact that she herself was obese when she fallaciously called us fat—I kid you not, she was fifty, sixty, and even seventy pounds overweight at any given time (projection, anyone?)— or that, looking back at old family photos, none of us were even remotely overweight. My sisters and I have discussed this with each other at length in our young adulthoods. We all felt like we were fat back then, and have suffered from body dysmorphia in varying degrees since, but when we went back to look at our photos of our old selves, we couldn’t find those overweight girls anywhere. In fact, we were actually pretty damn slim considering. Harsh words, and those coming directly from a mother to a child, have a profound impact both on how we see ourselves in our minds, and in that reflection in the mirror.

This is only the beginning of the story where the verbal abuse is involved. The ego-destroying sentences strung together like silk from a spider, calculating and fatal, to trap her children in her web of manipulation, were mere child’s play for a person of my mother’s caliber. The next step, naturally, was to stay in power—to keep us trapped in that web—by ensuring constant chaos in the household. Our privacy was the first to be forfeited amidst the chaos. 

She ventured for other ways to manipulate us…by venturing into our bedrooms in search of any hidden secrets. Our bedrooms were scoured and private belongings including sentimentally-loaded diaries were raided from our secret hiding places. She used our personal diaries, with our deepest thoughts and feelings poured into them, as a mere tool to gain the upper hand in arguments. Whenever we’d argue with her, she’d promptly resurrect our most private feelings and thoughts, putatively safeguarded in our diaries where they were thought to rest in peace, at whim, to whoever was unfortunate enough to be nearby. When she discovered some of us wrote in our diaries of having depressive and suicidal thoughts from this rather tense environment, under this rather ruthless reign of a dictator, my mother scoffed at us and made sure to let everyone else in the household know of our most privately withheld feelings. 

“Are you done being suicidal now?” She once callously asked one of us in the flattest tone imaginable. Not a drop of concern could be felt in that empty tone of voice. The lack of empathy, the dearth in concern,  the bloodless response to your child’s innermost struggles! How such a coldblooded being could be called ‘human’—let alone mother—is frightening.  Our private lives, which are considered sacred enough to be protected under federal laws, were disregarded and tossed aside like litter in our household. And our feelings fared no better than our privacy. 

Tears from the children were frequently received with an unfeeling, stern face by my mother. Feelings were flippantly tossed around, openly discussed with whoever was around, with no regard or concern for the meaning of “privacy.”  Third degree levels of suffering from the children were received with first degree levels of concern from my mother. When we’d express grief over her publicly announcing our private diary entries to everyone else in the household, she’d jeer at us and say with a special kind of meanness, “Well, if you didn’t want me to say them, you shouldn’t have written them.”  We learned quickly to mask any pain we felt with a steely poker face. We needed to appear strong on the outside no matter how much it hurt on the inside, to stand against her however we could. We couldn’t let her know that the things she said to us killed our egos—our selves—inside. We didn’t play by the normal, healthy, warm and fuzzy familial rules. In this household, the rules of survival were all that mattered.  

But when our cool, steely demeanors developed enough to successfully conceal the pain we felt from her constant barrage of insults and the betrayals of trust and privacy, she retaliated with even greater force. Her newly constructed instrument for manipulation would be the most pernicious of them all, pitting the children against their father and even worse, against each other, in what is known in psychology as triangulation.   

Triangulation can involve one parent teaming up with their child against the other parent. This can occur, for instance, under circumstances involving abuse and alcoholism. The non-abusive or non-alcoholic parent can privately discuss with their child the issues of the other abusive or alcoholic parent, inadvertently dragging the child into the personal affairs of both parents. The issue should be handled directly by the one parent to the other, but instead, the child is unwillingly pulled in as a third party member. This type of triangulation is toxic to the child because it places them in a surrogate parent position, where they’re forced to play the role of mediator between both arguing parents. Emphasis on forced. A child should never have to deal with adult problems. 

This parent-to-child triangulation was a common theme in our household. Our mother provoked our father as much as he provoked her (they were suitably a match made in hell for each other), and almost as frequently as she provoked us. (My father was fortunate enough to work long hours, six days a week, so he avoided her antagonizing tactics more than we did growing up.) My father would constantly complain to us about my mother’s profligate credit card spending habits, even when we were small children with no idea how the real world worked quite yet. My mother, on the other hand, would derisively mock anything about him to us, from his mispronounced words (English is his second language), to his mannerisms (“Look at him, with his hands behind his back! Looking like a fool!”). She went a step further than that, as she’s prone to doing in spectacular fashion, and made sure we all knew about her trips to the mall, where she’d vindictively charge his credit cards on frivolous items whenever they argued. “I’ll get him back for yelling about dinner last night. We’re going to go shopping on his dime.” 

Now, despite those last few sentences being particularly funny when taken out of context, (can anyone else envision this being said in a scene of a sitcom by a vindictive wife?), this was an extremely tactless thing for her to do—to involve her children in such a precarious situation between herself and their father. We became prime witnesses to her misdeeds and extravagant spending, and yet we were forced to keep our mouths shut to avoid her wrath being redirected at us. This, as you can imagine, put us in a very awkward situation with our father. We wanted to tell him the truth, but we feared her wrathful discipline in return. We remained tightlipped about the whole ordeal until my father was $55,000 in credit card debt, among twenty-five credit cards unknowingly opened in his own name (one of the many instances where my mother would financially abuse him, and eventually us, when we became “credit card age”) and filing for divorce—and bankruptcy—many, many, (read dreadful) years later.  This was only one of many other triangulation-related experiences regularly occurring in our household. The most intrinsically manipulative of them would triangulate the children against each other. That lone target child, maliciously excluded from the rest of the group on our mother’s bipolar whim, would take on the role of the sacrificial lamb. They’d be selected for the stoning by our mother, in our version of The Lottery. 

A perfect example of this: When one of us was arguing with our mother, she would single that child out and punitively assign all chores to be done for the day to that child alone. Both bathrooms would be cleaned by the sacrificial lamb. Weeds would be pulled in the blistering heat of the summer, by that child alone. The entire yard (almost half an acre) would be mowed by that single child. All in one day. Then the name calling, bashing and otherwise verbal berating of that child would commence. Behind that sacrificially branded child’s back, she would stab them fifty times over the necessary to kill, painting them in the worst light possible to the other siblings. Her intent was no doubt to humiliate in the third degree and disrupt peace among the siblings. “Your sister can’t fit in her old jeans anymore. I guess sitting on your ass all day and eating isn’t paying off.” (My sister was never fat…ever). “Your brother is a raging lunatic. The smallest things will set him off these days.” (She would start antagonizing him first, and he’d react accordingly in defense). “Look at her, on a Friday night, with no friends calling to ask her to come hang out. I wonder why.” (Meanwhile, I would try to go out with friends on the weekends and she wouldn’t allow it, either to punish me for whatever disproportionately minor misdeed I had supposedly done, or as a way to assert control over me.) This went on for a while in the house. But she must have grown bored with revealing our stored away secrets to the others and verbally stoning us with insults every day. She eventually upgraded her manipulation tactics to include…completely making shit up out of thin air. 

She started conjuring up fake news stories about one of us and spreading the false narrative to the others to further divide and conquer us. I’ll never forget when I first discovered this ploy of hers when I found myself not talking to my older sister for days out of spite. We had had an argument with each other a few days earlier. My mother had taken it upon herself to fabricate a tale (that I shamefully believed) about my older sister. This tale involved my sister supposedly running to our father to complain about me dating a high school guy in my grade earlier than she had been allowed to date. I was so angry and felt so betrayed after hearing this that I couldn’t bring myself to confront my older sister until a few days after the matter. (I was a young teen in a tense familial environment, so healthy confrontations weren’t taught to me then.) When I finally confronted her about it, she was genuinely confused.

 “What are you talking about? I never said anything like that!” My older sister angrily snapped back at me.

“Oh really?” I pressed. “Then why were you so insistent on me not dating my boyfriend?” 

I was the one who supported it! I told mom it should be OK for you to date a little younger than me.”

It hit us both at the same time at that moment. Our adolescent, developing minds sorted the information and worked out the meaning of this. We came to this conclusion:

Our mother had been fighting with my older sister at the time (there really never was a dull moment in our household). They hadn’t been talking to each other for nearly a week. My mother seized that opportunity to vengefully isolate my older sister from the rest of the family through triangulation (we didn’t know the word at the time, but, boy, did we understand the concept on a very personal level). She set about doing just that by dragging my dad into this extremely important matter involving me dating some regular NPC dude in high school. For whatever reason, my mother resented that I was dating this guy, so she complained to my father about this, who really didn’t do anything about it except weakly parrot her words a few times to me before taking flight. Nevertheless, my dad was now involved in a scenario blown way out of proportion, and I was very mad because of it. I just wanted this unnecessarily drawn-out, dramatic episode to end. Little did my father, older sister, and I know, the pieces on the chess table had been strategically placed for just this moment. 

My older sister would be scapegoated. My mother ratting me out to my dad would become my sister ratting me out, the ultimate sister-betrayal story of yore. This would piss me off and cause me to fight with my (innocent) older sister. The triangulation process would seamlessly proceed according to my mother’s plan. Among the chaos and uncertainty from dividing the family against each other, my mother would conquer over everyone else and re-solidify her control over the family unit (the foundation was always shaky). It was the simplest scapegoat tactic and it had worked tremendously (well, before it backfired obviously. I guess she couldn’t see how our chess pieces would work out her ploy eventually.)

I gobbled up her story word for word on the way to picking up some Taco Bell one evening. I was a young teen, swept up with all kinds of teenager emotions over that dramatic episode. I wasn’t seeing things clearly. My brain was too underdeveloped and inexperienced to see how I was being played by my own mother, triangulated against my older sister on nothing but woven lies and deceit. By the time we rode home, with the Taco Bell bags warm on my lap, I was burning mad at my sister. Ordering an additional Nachos Supreme would have been less damaging to my arteries than what my mother was doing to me and my older sister. 

She had intentionally procured ill will between siblings and further isolated my older sister from me and the rest of the family, all out of bitter, petty vengeance. When our teenage minds worked out the manipulation by our adult mother, we gained a deeper understanding of the inner workings at play. Our mother would stoop as low as she could to get her revenge, even if it meant destroying the symbiotic ties of family and the mental securities of her own children. 

Even with all of these manipulative cards already in hand and at the ready to use whenever the mood struck her, my mother’s diabolical thirst was never quenched. She would constantly hunt for more controlling, more ensnaring traps to lay out for the kill, each one worsening in cruelty and audacity. The physical beatings were the most salient component for psychological trauma. The triangulation was the most pernicious. But a branch of triangulation that would force the children to betray each other on an even baser level would trump all others in depravity. Before we matured and developed enough to do otherwise, our mother would force us to personally deliver her The Stick by which our sisters and brother would be beaten to submission.

I don’t remember precisely when it started—perhaps because we subconsciously suppressed these traumatic memories out of necessity — but at some point in our childhood, our mother forced us to be complicit in The Stick beatings of our siblings. We came to dread these words with every beat of our heart, every muscle fiber of our being: “Get me The Stick!” It was unbearable enough to have to listen to the loud bam, bam, bam of hard plastic on vulnerable, bare skin, and to hear the accompanying cries and screams of “Please mommy, no more!” as she mercilessly flogged our siblings with The Stick.  Now we’d have to partake in the beatings as third party messengers. The thought of it sickens me and curdles my blood even now. Do you know what it feels like to be forced to commit a heinous, immoral crime? Not just any crime, but one of the worst of its kind (torture), and on your own brothers and sisters? It gnaws at my soul every time I dwell on how I participated, however unwillingly, in the beatings of my siblings. Sure, I wasn’t the one who initiated the beatings. But I didn’t stop them, either. I was too much of a fucking coward then. I suppressed my moral compass for those few moments and, out of sheer fear, I would grab that cursed Stick and grittingly deliver it to my mother before she started pounding on my brother and sisters with it. I have never stopped resenting my past cowardice in failing to stand up to my mother whenever she made us do this to each other. 

I could have refused to bring The Stick to her—and even did a few times—but she would retaliate by whipping you both, with doubled-down force. She’d even confiscate your prized possessions in the form of video games, books, or cell phones—your only means of escaping the hostile landscape surrounding you—for disobeying. This seems rather petulant and first-world privileged to fear the confiscation of material possessions. I realize that. But in an environment as tense as one in a minefield, both places equally capable of setting off an explosion, our escape from our harsh reality in the forms of paperware books and hardware videogames and cell phones were our only source of refuge outside of school. Threats of these kinds subdued us, and we’d grudgingly deliver The Stick. Thankfully, we grew bolder with age and wisdom.  

There was one hopeful night where the three oldest siblings (my sister, brother, and I) finally joined forces against my mother. Our youngest sister was in first grade. Don’t let that detail escape you. She was in a fussy mood and “made a scene” at an open house event at her school by pouting and dragging her feet across the floor. If you recall the story of my younger brother “making a scene” at the mall, you’ll already know the direction this story is headed. The older siblings knew their little sister would get The Stick tonight. Fear poured in on the fateful ride home that night after open house. While all the other children of the school were heading home for bedtime, our younger sister was heading home for much worse. Our mother was livid and seething through gritted teeth again the whole way home about my younger sister’s “inexcusable display.” Our youngest sister was crying helpless tears. The rest of us were silently thinking of ways we could possibly prevent this from happening tonight.  

The climactic point came. Our clanking blue van pulled into the driveway of the boxed in prison we called home. We all stumbled into the house with feelings of dread, our minds racing on what to do next to avoid the unavoidable. But something changed that night.  We hadn’t spoken a word the entire car ride home, but we were all in sync with each other and planning on doing the same thing. We were not going to fetch the wretched Stick for her. In fact, we were going to fight it however we could. 

I’m honestly ashamed of my decision that night. To “fight back,” I ran outside, into the creek that provided me my only peace and serenity at home, and desperately prayed to God in the stars above to save my sister. Somehow, I was still under the dumb impression that God existed the way it’s proclaimed in the Bible, and that by praying I would be able to save my sister. (In hindsight, this was one of those turning points for me when I realized how much more harmful religion is than it is helpful.) While I was doing the docile lamb thing praying outside, my older sister and brother were fearlessly standing up to their hateful mother indoors, the true heroes of the story. Later they would tell me the full story. 

Apparently as I did my sheeple prayer, my mother was trying to triangulate again by forcing someone to fetch her The Stick. My brother and older sister refused. Growing impatient with this sudden display of disobedience from her inferior children, she resorted to grabbing the nearest thing to strike my younger sister with. Her desperate, grasping hands found a wide, plastic hair brush. Good enough. She managed to clobber my younger sister (first grade, remember) on the head with it a few times. I could hear my sister’s cries from outside, and I desperately prayed to God harder, tears streaming down my face as I prayed aloud. My prayer was “answered” soon after. My brother and sister, with tears pouring out from their experience-worn eyes, begged my mother to stop. They reminded her, sickeningly enough, just how little and feeble our young sister was, and how she’ll definitely behave from now on after all the punishment she received for the night (already too much for a young one to have to endure). By some miracle (pun intended because I prayed like an idiot), our combined disobedience disarmed the wicked Witch that night. In that pinnacle moment of daring revolution, my mother was thrown off guard. She seceded from her alliance with corporal punishment that night.  Of course, this was how other manipulative tactics would take root and form, and sometimes she relapsed into striking us with her hands, but we silently celebrated a groundbreaking victory that night. We knew that none of us would be beaten and bruised by the Stick again.

Stories like these have bogged us down our entire lives. We aren’t sinking or drowning in despair today, but the extra weight feels too heavy sometimes. It can be too much for us to bear, and we’re all coping from these traumatic experiences in our own ways. My siblings have shone in their careers so far, and their future seems brighter than today. That is their story to tell. As for my story, I finally found my voice and my will to fight on. My will to fight has even transferred to real fighting. Judo, the martial art of using an opponent’s strength against them by throwing them and subduing them with choke holds and arm locks, has been a very appropriately relevant way of coping from all the pain and hurt I felt by my mother. I finally developed real strength and the courage to fight head on, so unlike my sheeple cowardly days where I used to pray to a God I can no longer believe in. 

Writing, in its own way, has also proven therapeutic. My blood still boils at the violent images I’m struck with as I write out the most painful accounts of abuse, but it’s helping me put everything into perspective. It’s helping me to formulate the diabolical processes of my mother. Hopefully, after identifying them, I can finally seek out a way to heal from them myself. 

My mother deserves whatever bad karma or punishment is headed her way. And trust me, karma really does come back around. It’s already bit her quite hard on the ass. Most of us have ceased communication with her for years now. I’m personally going on seven years with no communication) My older sister is the only one who remains in contact with her today. 

According to my older sister, my mother said she’s having “nightmares of pandemonium” these days, where she constantly sees herself burning in hell. Good. At least her subconscious hasn’t betrayed herself quite yet. Perhaps deep, deep down she does feel regret for all those she’s burned and bled out over the years. Maybe there’s a chance for redemption there. But have I seen that regret and shame surface yet? Has she admitted fault and begged her children to forgive her? Has she set out on a spiritual journey to redeem her corrupted soul by focusing on giving to others, not just bleeding them dry for all she can get before moving on to the next victim?

Not even the slightest.

My mother found my blog site a few years ago on Facebook and decided to message me. (This would be the reason I had to take a two-year hiatus from blogging to regroup, mind you.) Huge walls of text asserted that “she truly missed me” and “loved me so much” and “wished we were talking again.” Gag. I can’t help but cringe from reading her claims to “love me.” It’s all so counterfeit to me. The last time I lived under her reign, eleven years ago at nineteen years old, the summer after my first year at Rutgers University, we were screaming at the top of our lungs how much we hated each other. I had meant it then. She had proven it all throughout my life. I swore that day that I would never return to live under her oppressive reign again (and I set about doing just that).  Reading these delusional messages from her now that spout her tawdry “love” for me quite literally sickens me. Nothing has changed. 

In those messages she claimed—she wouldn’t directly admit to doing anything wrong—that what had transpired in that household was minor in comparison and “could have been worse.” It could have been worse. You can’t make this shit up. If you can’t understand my frustration, please imagine, if you briefly can, being in a fictitious world where you are a slave who is regularly lashed by your slave owner. After years of abuse at your master’s hands, you are suddenly emancipated by law and are free to leave your master without looking back. Now imagine if your master were crazy enough to reach out to you years later to restore your relationship by saying, “Well, all things considered, it could have been much worse. I mean, I could have raped you and whipped you, but I only whipped you.” (The parallels between these real and fictitious worlds are astonishing.) In this hypothetical scenario, how do you think you’d feel? What would your PTSD, if it could manifest itself into corporeal form, say to you about that? What would your corporeal whipped backside, scarred from the bloody lashings by your abuser, have to say to this? 

Are you fucking kidding me? Is all I could say to myself as I read her wall of delusional messages. To go from brandishing The Stick on us if we so much as “copped an attitude” with her; to intentionally pitting her children against each other; to constantly screaming aloud “what she could have been” had she not given birth to us; to this fakery? To these false proclamations of “motherly love?”

I am a thirty-year old woman now. I’ve had years of experiencing abuse firsthand, and years of experience reading it in psychology textbooks, journals, and scours of books from professional psychologists. I know the ins and outs of abuse. I know what my mother has done to us all these years. I know what she’s trying to do now. I am livid at her weakness. Yes, it is absolutely a weakness. A person who can’t admit their wrongdoings—who simply denies it away and refuses to apologize—is a very weak-minded person who feels so lowly about themselves, they can’t emotionally handle admitting they’re wrong.  Her delusional mind—perhaps because it’s decayed over the years—truly believes by ignoring and denying away her years of abuse, they will go poof and magically disappear from all our memories.  This is her final mode of manipulation, denying us the truth of everything she’s done to us. 

We have all suffered gravely from her abuse. Every one of her children has suffered from low self-esteem or body dysmorphia or self-destructive habits or learned helplessness. I have suffered from all of these and much more because of her. But no more. She will answer to her sins and her crimes one way or another. The wrath in me has been stirring all these years and it has culminated to this point. If she really can’t understand why most of her children refuse to even listen to her, she can read my dear blog post about it. Maybe something will finally “click” for her while reading this. Maybe she’ll remember the illicit hatred she felt for us. Maybe she’ll remember how loud our cries and screams were when we begged her, “Please, mommy! No more!,” as she mercilessly beat us with The Stick until we welted (and told us to cover up our marks and lie to anyone who asked about it in school). After reading her last Facebook message to me two years ago, this is all very doubtful. Nothing has changed. 

Was my mother ever kind to us? Were there any good times? Of course. As with anything in life, there were good times mixed in with the bad and horrid times. We laughed together, we cried together, we even had enlightening conversations together. I learned my fashion sense and style from my mother. I learned how to stand alone against a crowd and fight if I had to. Years of isolating triangulation taught me how to fend for myself and even built a special kind of individuality in all of us. ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ sort of thing. In rare moments of tenderness, my mother would actually behave like an authentic one and say something kind and encouraging to us. She would sometimes call all of us her “beautiful creations” (who she would also pound on from time to time). But then she’d just as suddenly withdraw those words of encouragement and replace them with their opposites whenever her mood suddenly shifted. (“Chloe, you look so ugly when you’re angry.) Nevertheless, there were sweet times sprinkled in with the shit times. I cannot and will not deny that we had some sweet memories spritzed on the shitty ones. But no matter how much sugar you put on shit, it’s still not going to taste good. The stench of those traumatic memories overpowers the pleasant but more delicate fragrances of the good ones.

Our self-esteem has been brutally torn to pieces. Scar tissue has hardened all around us as a way to heal. Walls have been built up high to safeguard us from any future attacks. Despite being deemed “functional” adults today, an inner child in each of us is still huddled in a ball, shivering in fear. We’re learning about the kindness and warmth of others in this world, but our battle reflexes are still fully engaged to this day, prepared and alert for open hostility.

Our “mother” was a menace of our childhood. There is overwhelming psychological evidence to support the abusive mechanisms she used against us—which I exhaustively laid out here—and how severely they hurt us as a result. In my Neuropsychology class at Rutgers University, I learned how physical abuse literally changes the shape of children’s developing brains. This negatively affects their neurocognitive functioning in many ways. For example, emotional processing of information is compromised when abuse is at play. This makes it difficult for the victims of abuse to control and process emotional experiences in a healthy way.  All the long term effects of childhood abuse are still being discovered in studies. And to this day, my mother can’t even acknowledge that there were any bad times at all.

“It wasn’t that bad.” She’s been known to say to whoever among the siblings still talks to her, usually only my older sister. “I mean, what exactly happened that was supposedly so bad?” You cannot make this shit up. 

The level of denial my mother encompasses astounds us all. There is a lot of clutter there in her psyche that needs sorting out, fact from fiction. That’s her responsibility. The extra blow comes when she denies us the admission of her crimes—crimes so cruel they can only be surpassed by the most morally corrupt of demons walking about on Earth disguised in hollow human shells (Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell immediately come to mind here). But I suppose on a psychological level, it can be understood. Like in most cases of generational abuse, my mother had also suffered a tumultuously abusive past with her parents. She never spoke much of our grandparents, but from one story alone, I know it was brutal living with them. 

My mother once recounted a profound story of abuse she and her older sister (my aunt) had experienced from their own mother (my grandmother). My grandmother had been arguing with my aunt when it erupted to volcanic levels. My grandmother stormed into the bathroom where my aunt had been yelling from, and proceeded to beat her bloody with her own bare hands. My mother heard everything right outside the door. Once my grandmother had her fill of purported retribution, she stormed out of the bathroom, leaving my aunt behind. When my mother took a peek at the scene laid out before her, she found her older sister slumped on the bathroom floor. Her face was battered from the blows and blood poured from everywhere she had been struck. This scene absolutely traumatized my mother.

In this way, my mother can be pitied. She’s a broken, roaming soul capable only of spreading more hate. Where all the hate came from is obvious, but where the love went will forever remain a mystery. She could have been the one to put an end to this generational abuse. She could have broken the cycle by working on herself, educating herself, and building enough skills to function normally, and only then starting a family when she was ready. She broke these two rules before even having them, and begrudgingly bore four children. She betrayed herself, then betrayed everyone else. From physical to verbal to, years later, financial abuse, my mother would do whatever she could to dominate our lives. To this day, she still has a firm hold on certain aspects of them.

My childhood was ridden with episodes of major depression and fantasies of suicide up until my first few years of college. I was a loner in school, and had a difficult time opening up to people at first to reveal my sensitive side. I still do today. My anger can be uncontrollable at times, as if it’s been simmering inside for years, ready to erupt at any time. (This has lent me the competitive advantage in Judo at tournaments, but for everything else, it’s proven burdensome.) When I saw my mother’s messages on Facebook, I was filled with a deeply rooted horror and disgust I had wished to forget. 

Memories of her reading a school essay of mine suddenly resurface. I recall a time where I had used the word “inveigle” in one of my essays I (foolishly) wanted her to read. I was proud of my essay, but being a teenager, I was still developing as a writer. I was still hopeful that my mother would look past the shortcomings of my age and lack of experience to offer me some encouragement. Instead, my mother ridiculed my choice of words in the essay and mocked my efforts. 

“INVEIGLE. What kind of word is that? Who uses the word ‘inveigle?’ Look everyone, I’m using the BIG word ‘inveigle!’ Look how smart I am!” My mother’s ridicule, loud enough to make sure everyone in the house heard, was relentless. I felt like the most pretentious fool of a writer when she put on that display. Stupid idiot. I immediately thought these self-inflicting words to myself. Who uses the word ‘inveigle?’ If you were actually a good writer, you wouldn’t sound so prissy and wannabe-smart!”  What she had done destroyed my confidence in my writing style and thwarted any efforts to persevere. I took a break from writing for a while after that. So when I saw her Facebook messages purporting her sickly love for me, this memory lived through me again. I couldn’t help but feel the fear and dread of sharing my written works to others again after remembering this traumatic scene from my past life. Suddenly, I found myself doubting my writing and my future in it all over again. Can you see how firmly generational abuse holds a survivor down?

When I saw her delusional messages on my Facebook page, that memory was still residing in me. I heard the insults of my word choice, “inveigle,”in my head all over again. I had to take a step back. I blocked her (of course), but I also stopped blogging for two years after that because those memories of what she said still haunt me and my confidence in my writing to this day. Her insidious hold still pulls me back after all this time. I find myself catching myself in these moments of self-doubt. But I’ve resolved to change that. I won’t succumb to her abuse and manipulation any longer. I won’t allow her narcissistic and abusive mentality to deny away her wrongdoings and prevent me from healing. I will continue my journey expressing my thoughts and feelings on digital paper. I will fight her till the day one of us dies if I have to. This story of ours—the story of generational abuse— must never be forgotten. To forget and never tell would be to deny us, the survivors, the ability to finally break free from the cycle of abuse. 

Let this story be a lesson for us all. A survivor can live a relatively normal life with enough healing from loved ones and professional therapy over time. It takes a lot of work, money, and time among other factors, but it is certainly doable. Therapy in the form of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has proven very successful at tackling the damaged mentalities of victims of abuse. Once I save enough money for it, I’ll be seeking out CBT myself to finally tackle all the byproducts abuse has left behind in me. Victims of abuse should seek out CBT before they seek out meds of any kind.

Another lesson to learn: An abusive mother will reap what she sows. Time will be her worst enemy, when her children are finally old enough to leave the nest and leave her alone with nothing but her miserable mind to keep her company.  I would hope that the abuser could eventually realize the extent of damage they’ve done, turn their life completely around, and becomes a saint. But in many cases of abuse, this never happens.

But most importantly, I think the universal lesson to learn from this is the insidious nature of abuse itself. You can never truly know who suffers beneath their hardened walls and disguised surfaces. A wide smile masks the welling eyes brimmed with tears. A confident demeanor can be the glue that keeps together the shattered pieces of self-esteem. The happiest people have the saddest histories. The strongest are those who have suffered the most, and somehow managed to come out on top. 

A lot of people are shocked when I first tell them about my mother and what we all went through under her oppressive rule. They can’t believe that we, the seemingly chipper, upbeat, smart and pretty girls and handsome boy could possibly have suffered such a fate. But that’s what abuse does. It conceals. It hides pain. Life isn’t viewed through the same lenses when you’ve been abused all your life. The rules of survival are always at play when you’re the survivor of abuse. Be strong, be confident, the rules of survival tell us. Don’t show anyone weakness, or they’ll tear into you the way your mother or father does. 

Perhaps it was because I encompassed these positive traits that my mother resents me. Being the narcissist she is, she could have loathed the idea of her beautiful, blossoming children faring better in the world than she had. Her pain and misery warped her perception of love. She was rendered incapable of loving others in her twisted world of spite and envy. She’s a hollow human shell with only hate left inside her. 

I marvel at how we didn’t turn out like her. That was always a fear of mine. Yet somehow, we turned our abusive situation sideways. Not every survivor can live to tell that tale. How did we do it? That question can only be answered in another blog post. A shorter answer wouldn’t suffice. (I will briefly say here that had I been born in the ghetto, into a single mother household (just imagine!), and with little to no income in an abominable school system, the Chloe you see before you would not exist. I’d probably be in jail or resentfully raising three unwanted children from three different fathers in the same unjust system that had oppressed me. One or two of those children would go on to become menaces to society themselves, “serving” society their crimes before serving time in prison. My parents made some wise, beneficial choices in raising us in an environment surrounded by well-to-do, educated people. I’ll give them credit where it’s due.) 

For now, I’m just relieved to finally finish this post. It’s been bottled up inside me for so many agonizing years. To finally let it all out is cathartic, a reprieve from my past suffering. Yet I also feel fear and anxiety from writing this, lingering byproducts from nineteen years of abuse. I finally broke free from my mother, yet somehow I still feel chained. The physical bonds have been broken, but the chains of memories still haunt me, and the threat of her presence still linger. At this point I can only wonder how long it will take me to finally shake off the last remnants of my tortured past self. But I’m prepared to accept that that version of Chloe may never completely leave me. 

What I do know is that I am no longer a victim, but a victor, of abuse. I have survived and prevailed. I still suffer and I still need to work on the repairs, but I haven’t lost myself the way my mother lost herself at my age. I am surrounded by friends and loved ones. I didn’t end up being alone and miserable the way my mother tried to convince me I would. I became a champion in state Judo tournaments. A champion! Do you know what that title alone has done for someone like me who’s been beaten down the majority of my life? Every year I’m doing what I can to make myself feel good about myself. It’s a long journey and a tedious process with a whole lot of setbacks. But I’m focused on becoming the champion version of myself in all other aspects of my life now. I will continue writing. I won’t allow my mother’s influence to affect my writing anymore. The anxiety and fear are still there, but the unassailable wrath has overridden the fear and doubt and finally stirred me to action. “Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.” Mommy Menace, beware. 


To all who took the time to read this behemoth of a post, I can’t thank you enough. You’ve shown me more kindness than my mom ever could. I probably wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t received the love and empathy of such people like you throughout my life. Thank you for reading my story. You’ve brought peace to my anguished soul. Thankfully this is just the beginning for me. The fight continues. And I’ll be back with a vengeance. 😉

The Blaming Boomer Bane



Long gone are the days where we can envision a sweet, nurturing grandmotherly figure guiding the stumbling, carefree youth by hand to a better future. In sweet grandma’s place, we find a cantankerous old woman, each wrinkle of her forehead showing bitterness or entitlement in place of wisdom. The image of the grandfather, looking out into the distance, imparting his accrued wisdom over the years to the future generations in his children and grandchildren, has warped into that of an angry old man screaming at the youth, spit dangling from the corners of his thinning mouth, verbally berating them for every little mistake or character “flaw” he chooses to see in them.

The older generations have left a very bad impression on the youth these days. A sizable portion of the old generations of today, just like those of the previous older generations before them, have shriveled up into bitter old prunes, intent on patronizing the young and criticizing every aspect of their lifestyle and culture. And it’s getting quite old. Pun intended.

For one, older generations blaming the young for everything bad happening today is nothing new. For as long as life has been recorded and documented, this phenomenon has been going on.  It even has a term: Juvenoia. It’s better known by the proverbial saying “Back in my day…(insert something that was “better” back in the day here).” Yawn. I’m sure drinking hose water and riding on your grandpappy’s wagon was a blast, but circumstances change the world and therefore the ones born into such change. 

So why do the blaming Boomers blame everything on the [Gen X and] Millennial generation? The irony of it is quite baffling to me. After all, Boomers and Gen Xers raised Millennials.  So when they blame Millennials, they’re indirectly blaming themselves for their failures to raise them right (though they would never acknowledge this logical fallacy). 

Youtuber VSauce made an excellent in-depth video on Juvenoia that goes into much needed details about why Boomers (or older people in general) have a tendency to complain about the laziness and incompetence of the younger generations. It’s a really great analysis on why humans in general tend to behave this way as they age. I highly recommend anyone watch this for perspective:

Vsauce exhaustively researched psychological findings on the Juvenoia matter. He discussed the nostalgia effect, the endowment effect, the reminiscence bump, and overall poor memory of the past among many other factors contributing to Juvenoia.  I explored this issue on my own and came up with additional psychological aspects contributing to the blaming Boomer culture. If I were to shorthand it, it’d be something along the lines of: “The Greatest Generation unintentionally reared spoiled, entitled Boomer Brats, pioneering the “[All about] Me Generation.” Now, time for the longhand explanation.  

One day not too long ago, Google noticed I was searching for the word “Boomer” a lot, so the YouTube algorithm recommended a video about this gentleman, Steve Allen, recounting his reasons for spoiling his Boomer children and how he came to regret it. It’s a short video this time, about 5 minutes:

For those who still can’t bring themselves to watch the video in full: Steve Allen was a successful writer and TV host among a plethora of other things. Before all that, he was a poor sixteen-year-old who ran away from home during the Depression era in hopes of finding a way to eat and survive. In the video, he illustrates those dire times in heartbreaking detail (at one point he mentions how he had to resort to eating trash to survive and thoroughly enjoying his “dumpster finds”). He not only provided insight into the gravity of his times, but also the times that came after. What came after the Greatest Generation pulled us out of the Depression post-World War II? The Boomers, of course. And boy, were those the luckiest bastards to be born at that time…

As Steve Allen mentions in the video, the Greatest never wanted their children to suffer the same fate they did when they were young and poor and starving. So to compensate for their own suffering, in a way, they did what any normal, kind-hearted person would do for the betterment of their children and hustled for a big-paying job and set up a trust fund or bank account specifically for their children. 

By the time the children were college age, the Greatest had already saved enough money for them to go to college free and with a sizable amount in their savings account thereafter. With no exorbitant student loan debt, the Boomers seemingly had it all: money in the bank, little to no debt, a college education that granted them opportunities to work high-paying jobs, and cheap prices on everything from houses to cars to groceries and gas.  They grew up in affluent, suburban neighborhoods with little to no crime and no real troubles, and lived happily into most of their young adult lives, too (preceding the Reign of Reagan which cursed the whole damn nation to hell).

Despite all the privileges Boomer children enjoyed, they were never satiated. Never being satisfied with what was handed to them and always demanding more for themselves, they became known as the official ‘Me Generation.’ Enjoying the majority of America’s affluence as well as holding the most power at the voting polls in sheer numbers granted them almost totalitarian-like control over the political and economical scenes. This is articulated by Youtuber Economics Explained in this video.  Feel free to skim or watch in depth, but it’s another knowledgeable, albeit younger, gentleman analyzing the history of the Boomers seizing power for themselves at everyone else’s expense. 

So we have these privileged Boomers who grew up in idyllic conditions, earned a very affordable college education, landed good-paying jobs and bought a house and cars for their family while accumulating mass amounts of wealth on top of their trust funds and savings accounts with which their Greatest parents’ provided them. They also had practically full reign over politics through sheer voting power and could sway policies in their favor, everyone else be damned. So what? What does this have to do with why Boomers blame Millennials for every struggle of today? Trust me, I’m getting there! I need to build up this story more first. Which leads me to the wonderful psychological aspects of living a privileged life as the Boomers did.

The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin posted a research paper on the sociological and psychological effects one has from living in a higher socioeconomic setting. The researchers (Côté et. al) surveyed and statistically analyzed over 3,000 participants across four separate US studies to draw their conclusions. They hypothesized that those who grew up in a high socioeconomic standing (SES) and continued to live that way into adulthood had what they called “sustained privilege” that led them to feel and behave entitled to privileges not bestowed upon other generations.  

Turns out the “sustained privilege” hypothesis was in fact corroborated through the data… 

The meta-analysis of the studies “supports the sustained privilege hypothesis that higher income individuals with higher income parents feel the most entitled.” Boom. Here’s the first piece of  peer-reviewed, scholarly evidence supporting the idea that privileged individuals suffer the worst cases of entitlement and self-interest, to the brink of sheer narcissism. I’m guessing this is probably where the coining of the “Me Generation” originated. 

You can protest that this is but one study (actually, it was a meta-analysis of four combined studies in the US on the same issue) and therefore requires more replication to support this “sustained privilege” theory. You would have plenty of other data to choose from to confirm this finding in this Journal of Experimental Social Psychology paper or for the less academically-inclined, a NY Times article confirming the very same findings. If that still isn’t enough for you, I suggest you research “High SES entitlement” on Google Scholars for your own research, or just watch this YouTube video on a Professor’s analysis of the Boomers’ privilege in the 40s, 50s, and 60s:

(the first 7 minutes or so are the most informative on this particular issue). 

So we have a lot of proof now that those who grew up with high SES privileges and continue to live with high SES privileges are the most entitled brats of them all. We also have evidence that they became quite self-centered and narcissistic due to these privileges they took for granted (see video link directly above for reference). This narcissism led such high SES individuals to act in their own best interests, neglecting the needs of all others. And so Boomers who were oftentimes born, raised, and continued to live in such prime conditions throughout their adulthood voted for policies that would directly benefit them and no other group, simply because they felt entitled to those privileges above anyone else. Their counterculture movement of the 50s and 60s was soon forgotten and even reversed in the 1970s and 80s as the Reign of Reagan terrorized politics, all due to the Boomers voting such politicians into office in the first place. 

Reagan propagated the epic failure of the War on Drugs, stripped the people’s rights away one by one through the repeal of such policies as the Fairness Doctrine Act, and brainwashed the Boomers using very biased media that no longer required scrutiny on the accuracy of their data sources, thanks to the repeal of the Fairness Doctrine Act.

Boomers, who were already living beyond comfortably, allowed themselves to be brainwashed by these horrific radio and TV news sources, convincing their entitled selves that they earned their money through sheer hard work, but not these ‘damn Millennials’ who want everything to be free without working for it. And this is where we’ve landed today.

The Boomers, being as privileged and influential as they were in the 40s, 50s, and 60s, reaped all the benefits at the expense of the well-being of their children and their children’s children (i.e., Gen Xers and Millennials). They continue to confirm their prejudice of the young through biased media sources like the notorious Fox News, which further divides the regular American people against each other, especially the Old vs the Young Americans.

Consider the fact that Fairleigh Dickinson University conducted a research survey a decade ago that found Fox News viewers were less knowledgeable about political matters than those who didn’t watch the news at all! I mean, YIKES. That’s really fucking tragic. How could you know less about political matters watching Fox News than people who didn’t even watch the news?  The answer is simple, really. Media sources are morally corrupt after the repeal of the Fairness Doctrine Act, and therefore perfectly okay with brainwashing you. Now, to prevent some stupid Fox News loyalists from accusing me of being a biased “socialist” or whatever stupid label they want to post stamp on me, I will also highlight here that this Fairleigh Dickinson survey unveiled that MSNBC watchers were worse off than “no news watchers,” too. You see? Both red and blue news anchors are corrupt, brainwashing piles of shit!

So returning to the original point of this blog post: Historical documents, interviews, research, and surveys reveal to us here that 1) Boomers in general were quite privileged growing up compared to subsequent generations; 2) their “sustained privilege” basically transformed them into the self-centered, narcissistic “Me Generation”—a term specifically coined for the Boomers—that always prioritized themselves over anyone else, their Gen X children and Millennial children and grandchildren be damned; 3) their overwhelming numbers lent them immense voting power at the polls, which had them voting in policies that benefited them at the expense of everyone else and ultimately led to: 4) descendants of Boomers (Gen X and Millennials and now Zoomers) left with less opportunity, more debt from cruel, predatory loan practices (read 2003-2007 subprime mortgage loans and current student loans practices), and a heavy tax burden for younger generations to support this massive Boomer population of decrepit, patronizing old cranks into their retirements. You can imagine just how fucking delighted we are to be paying for these goobers’ lifelines.  I can guarantee you a good lot of these Bitter Boomers aren’t even remotely grateful for our taxes supporting their asses into their retirement, either. Such is the way of a narcissistic, “Me”-centered, entitled brat.

And now, to the final point: Incapable of empathy for others due to their “sustained privilege” which caused entitlement and narcissism, coupled with their willingness to be brainwashed by news sources like Fox News (and websites personally funded by business tycoons with huge stakes in the market) because exerting too much cognitive effort to do own scholarly research mAKe bRAin hUrT, and because they clearly suffer from cognitive dissonance and self-delusion on how hard-working they were compared to generations of today, Boomers feel the need to place all the blame on younger generations for any shortcomings of today. It’s the easiest scapegoat to blame the young for all of their secret self-loathing and deep-rooted sense of guilt for not earning everything they received and taking it all for themselves. Is this last point on cognitive dissonance, secret guilt, self-delusion, and self-loathing too far-fetched? I strongly beg to differ. 

Let’s start off with cognitive dissonance, since it’s a rather peculiar psychological concept. If you read the Wiki definition, you’ll see that it’s a psychological concept where one feels stress from the introduction of an uncomfortable fact or set of facts about oneself. To offset this sense of discomfort one feels when discovering a  not-so-nice-looking fact about oneself (in this case, “I was a privileged brat who had life easier than those living today do”), they act in contradictory ways to make themselves feel better and justify their reasoning for doing so. 

So in the case where it’s revealed that many Boomers led easier, more privileged lives than generations of today do, a Boomer suffering from cognitive dissonance would say something like, “When I was your age, I had to walk uphill to school both ways!” or “When I was your age, I had to work 70-80 hours every week!” This is obviously cognitive dissonance bullshit, considering that many Boomers didn’t have to work full-time or even part-time jobs to support their college education because pre-Reagan college was, in actuality, very cheap or very free :

Even if said Boomers did have to pay something for a college education, many times mommy and daddy money from their trust funds or personal savings accounts paid for tuition in full, or they rode on a full-paying scholarship, which almost never happens today. Or if you were like my entitled Boomer mother, your husband just paid them off. How convenient! (Needless to say, my entitled Boomer mother wasn’t the least bit grateful for this, as she swore she would ‘take everything she could get from him” when they inevitably divorced. Funny how my personal account of an ungrateful, entitled Boomer parent seeking more, more, more for themself perfectly lines up with the material discussed thus far in this post). But I digress. Just read this random forum asking Boomers how they afforded their college tuition and you’ll see what I mean. Many thanks to the contributing Boomers who are not suffering from cognitive dissonance for providing HONEST and very insightful answers in this forum by the way.

The “least fortunate” of the Boomers without mommy and daddy money or a scholarship had to work (gasp!) a part-time job to afford their tuition. This is laughable to me, because I had to work a part-time job in college just to feed myself, none of my underpaid work funds going towards my even heftier college tuition. But cognitive dissonance doesn’t like facts that make oneself look bad. So these Boomers who can’t handle or admit they had it easier in a lot of ways cook up all sorts of crazy fallacies to justify why they deserve what they have today: fat pensions and bank accounts, an unnecessarily oversized house among plenty of other luxuries they enjoy that we cannot today without paying an arm and a leg for it (I shudder to think what that privatized medical bill would cost…). 

We now see how cognitive dissonance makes one feel uncomfortable about one’s unearned fortunes. We can observe how that uncomfortable cognitive dissonance feeling leads one on the path of self-delusion about one’s personal achievements (“I had to walk uphill bOtH WaYs!”) as a means to justify one’s fortunes and absolve oneself of any guilt felt from being the lucky one who screwed over the succeeding generations for personal gain. But from where am I drawing the self-loathing conclusions? 

In all honesty, it’s purely instinct. I suspect there’s a lot of secret self-loathing going on underneath the privileged Boomer’s surface. When I watched the documentary Born Rich (2003) by Johnson & Johnson heir Jamie Johnson, I learned some very significant lessons pertaining to this matter. For one, when something is given to you rather than earned, a lot of the heirs and heiresses question whether or not they deserve such fortune (as they should). Jamie Johnson was one such rich guy. 

Noticeably perturbed by this, Jamie constantly asked himself why he of all people deserved to inherit such a fortune over others. One of Jamie’s ultra-wealthy friends from the documentary, Josiah Hornblower, of the Vanderbilt fortune, felt similarly. He recalled feeling very depressed about the whole inheritance thing, and finds true happiness and joy only when he’s working alongside the middle class citizens. (You can see how his empty eyes light up with life when recalling his two-year work experience with the regular folk in the documentary.) Of course, Jamie and Josiah are one of the only privileged ones from that documentary who dig deep enough inside themselves to search for merit not related to their inherited fortunes. The other rich privileged kids of the documentary, in one form or another, rely on the mechanisms of cognitive dissonance to temporarily reprieve them of any feelings of guilt or self-loathing. Prime example from this documentary: Ivanka Trump uses cognitive dissonance to express how “proud she is” of Daddy Trump for his many “achievements.” Considering I’m typing this in the year 2022, 2 years after Trump signed the OPEC+ deal that would cause oil prices to soar artificially so that shareholders could enjoy higher earnings in their stocks while we the regular people were the ones forced to pay for their scam through overinflated gas prices, and also considering how three of his elected Supreme Court goons reversed a landmark Supreme Court decision of 50 years standing, I’m trying really hard not to laugh in disgust as I type that out.

Aside from that documentary, others on YouTube have chimed in about this “instinct”: about how the privileged and entitled secretly loathe themselves because of their lack of true self-achievement. Check out the comments on this previously mentioned YouTube video (where TV host Steve Allen regrets spoiling his Boomer children). For convenience, I’ll share some of the top voted comments relating to this concept here:

Wow! I’m nowhere near the only person who feels the same way! Nearly 7,500 others agree with me from that first comment alone! The second comment there really woke me up to the idea that privilege + lack of self-achievement = self-loathing: “They [entitled Boomers] feel really jaded towards younger Generations despite the fact that they were the ones who raised the younger Generations.” Couldn’t have said that better myself.

So here we have personal anecdotes, scholarly and peer-reviewed research and surveys, documentaries, YouTube videos, and interviews from professionals on the Boomer subject all at hand (thank you, Internet) to explain why Boomers blame Millennials for everything. The long handed conclusions confirm my shorthanded one from the beginning of this post, with a little bonus: “The Greatest Generation unintentionally reared spoiled, entitled Boomer Brats, pioneering the “[All about] Me Generation…who screwed over everyone else, including their own children and grandchildren, so their entitled asses could reap more for themselves from the system, everyone else be damned. And because they’re narcissistic, they have the gall to place all the blame on their children and grandchildren.”

This spoiled group of Babies felt deep-rooted guilt and self-loathing for their privileged lives, which in turn led to employing the mechanisms of cognitive dissonance to make themselves feel better about the whole situation. This cognitive reprieve has Boomers denying their privileged positions, so they can continue undermining and screwing over the generations succeeding them for personal benefit without feeling the least bit guilty about it. Cognitive dissonance is a very ugly, nasty and rampant psychological phenomenon. In this specific situation, it has compelled a group of old people to delude themselves and deny the truth: that during their privileged youth, they had almost everything in their grasp. During their adulthood, they stole everything from the youth of today through predatory Wall Street loans, actively voting at the polls for policies that would strip our rights away one by one for their own personal gain (read privatized healthcare), and further bleeding us dry with our tax dollars supporting them into their ungrateful retirement.  

I never meant to generalize an entire group, but the Boomers left me no choice. Barrage after barrage of complaints about my “lazy” and “entitled,” generation spending all our money, somehow, on coffee, cellphones (which everybody uses) and avocado toast, from these fossil fuels for bloggers, has left me intolerant of any ignorant statements they make about Millennials.

In all honesty, I’m pissed off. Personally growing up with an entitled, narcissistic Boomer mother was enough for me. But enduring every other Millennials’ and Gen Xers’ equally entitled Boomer parents, too? Hell no. 

Now before you say it, I will. I know not all Baby Boomers were rich and spoiled and entitled. That’s not how the world works, thankfully, otherwise, we’d probably already be extinct by now.  But for all those privileged Blaming Boomers beating on the youth? A hearty fuck you to you. 🖕

I am sick and tired of the Blaming Boomer Bane. The toxic word vomit that spews from their entitled, out-of-the-loop, obsolete mouths has me fed up. I wake up every day now infuriated by the world they’ve created for us. A world that is overheated, over-polluted, overpopulated—no thanks to our current Boomer Supreme Court of 2022—and overpriced. A world where my rights are being privatized (read healthcare and education), stripped from me if I’m not rich enough to retrieve them. As I’m bled and hung to dry further through my taxes financially supporting this ungrateful bunch of Babies, resentment is the only feeling that remains. But the Babies take it even one step further than that, having the audacity to blame their byproducts, in the form of their offspring, for every crisis happening today. This is the worst time to be alive in America since 1929, and it is not the youth who are to blame.


Addendum Bonus:

George Carlin says it like it is about the Whining Baby Boomers 🍼
The Brainwashing of My Dad (documentary) explains how Boomers were brainwashed from radio and TV shows.