For the girls forced to deal with this BS, you’re not alone.
I love and respect most men, but despise the ones of the coomer variety. They make life unnecessarily uncomfortable for everyone else around them. Most guys are normal and decent human beings as much as your average chick. But we really need to address the underhanded tactics of manipulation which coomer males feel the need to carry out as their hail merry for getting laid.
And before you go off on me about this, I know there are plenty of toxic females out there in the world, too. I know crazy chicks exist and suck, too. But I’m limited to my personal experiences here, and that happens to entail a lot of shady male figures trying to get in bed with me using all kinds of undercover, manipulative tactics. I know I’m far from being the only woman who has encountered these issues (and a whole lot more) from these creepy men of the world. Watch out for this lot of male thots.
The “Make them Jealous” or “pit women against each other” tactic
As a thicc girl boss myself with Judo skills to defend my ass(ets), I receive many compliments on my muscular figure. It was no different for this one coomer McKyle who’d go as far as sending money to me just to see pictures of me flexing (true story!). We met up in person one night and surprisingly got along well enough. He’d continue sending me money for “flex pics” periodically until one day, out of the blue, he texted me about this girl he was dating. That’s all fine and dandy because I didn’t have feelings for him that way, but then it turned quite sour.
He started texting me unsolicited photos of her and comparing our body types (ew). He attempted to provoke me by insisting she would catch up to me in the gainz department. Aside from being downright creepy, it was also quite pathetic. I feel the girl could do so much better than him.
It’s really cringe that I have to say this, but there are a group of guys out there who actually believe that the way to a woman’s heart is by riling her up and getting her worked up over another “potential” female competitor. There’s a lot to unpack here.
First of all, what makes a guy think that the woman he’s trying to bag will willingly play this little game with him? What makes him think she’s even into him to begin with?
Oh, that’s right. He’s playing this manipulative game with her specifically because he doesn’t know for sure if she’s into him, and he’s too insecure to find out in a healthier, more honorable way. A man with chad, sigma, or big dick energy shoots his shot directly and if he misses, he doesn’t sweat it. He moves on with no hard feelings. But gauging whether a woman is into him by purposely trying to make her jealous over another potential female competitor is not only manipulative, it’s simply stupid, juvenile, and craven. It’s not going to win you any points in the respectability department, that’s for sure.
A confident woman knows her worth. She would never trip on a little coomer boy playing this game of tag. Women have always had the upper hand when it comes to options in the dating pool. That’s just evolutionarily and biologically a fact about mating options for men versus mating options for women. There are over 3 billion men in this world today. What makes a man think, in this day and age—where you can swipe left or right in a second—that she’s going to stick around even for another minute with a coomer who plays this game of uncertainty with her? (The same applies to the unhinged chicas by the way.)
Have you ever watched a chick flick or read an erotica novel or romance webtoon, brother? You could learn a thing or two about women’s fantasies—what gets their gears really lubricated— just by glossing over the contents of these commonly consumed forms of female-targeted porn. Now granted, women aren’t all built the same. Studying the inner workings of female-targeted pornographic material does not guarantee you get a girl in the end.
Do I really need to say that, though? If a dude thinks there’s a manual out there that lays it out ABC, 123 on How to Win a Girl’s Heart Guaranteed, he’s being downright delusional. Just like men, women don’t fit into these neat little compartments. But that trashy erotica novel is still a far better option toward understanding the female psyche over that garbage you consume from that turd-brained, no-chin male PUA you follow relentlessly in hopes of sliding into those DMs, to slide into something else…Bombastic side eye.
The moment that weirdo started acting up this way, I ignored him like the annoying manbaby he was. Worked like a charm. He’s probably still butthurt to this day. I wonder how that girl would feel had she known he was doing this…Which leads to the next case of psychopathic idiocracy…
Bragging about cheating on a partner as a way to flaunt your rizz
I really can’t believe I have to put this one up, but it’s happened to me on multiple occasions throughout my young adulthood and it’s quite baffling why these types of men do this sort of thing. It also only seems to occur among older men, specifically old Gen Xers, Baby Boomers, and some very ancient Silents. I’ve never heard of a woman getting revved up for a good time when a man brags about cheating on his partner(s) to her, but apparently older men feel this is what gets the young ladies excited for a joy ride with ol’ daddy-o.
Aside from revealing to me what a terrible person you are, you’re also showing me that you’re a sociopath when you behave this way. Only someone with antisocial personality disorder would find it humorous to play with their partners’ feelings like this and then boast about it to others. And seriously, who are these women who actually take the bait? All the fish in that pool of stagnant water are most definitely infected with some serious issues ( like lead-poisoning ahem).
Also, what do these creepy older men hope to accomplish when they brag to young women they’re hoping to score with about cheating on their wives and having multiple girlfriends on the side? Is it just their way of convincing these young ladies (or themselves), “I still got it, baby?” Revolting.
Honestly, that’s probably it right there. Their midlife crises have kicked into full gear, and life is finally catching up to them as the sands of time deplete from their hourglass. With their youth faded and minds jaded, they set out to embark on one last hurrah of debauchery and infidelity to deny themselves the humbling truth that they’re getting old and cannot escape from it. Instead of embracing the journey of aging, they outright deny it. Whatever the case may be, cheating and bragging about it is sociopathic.
A middle-aged man from one of my Judo dojos came onto me like this. Aside from being at the age of peak midlife crisis, he also presented highly in sociopathic tendencies. He bragged about divorcing his wife and having a 27-year old plaything on the side before trying his luck with me. I humored him and listened before rejecting him straight up (emphasizing on multiple occasions in verbal italics that I only wanted to be friends). Cognitive dissonance made him try harder. Such blatant brutishness wore me down until I straight up lied and told him I was in a relationship. Predictably sociopathic, he stopped talking to me altogether afterwards. He even stopped showing up to Judo classes, most likely from very warranted embarrassment.
The craziest thing about this personal ordeal was how charming he was before this all played out. He put on such a show of an adventurous, optimistic, and charming spirit, but it was literally just that—all show. The moment the “truth” was unveiled about me being taken, the charm wore off. All predictably presenting tendencies of someone with anti personality disorder. Watch out for this manipulative lot of (elderly) thots.
The undercover coomer presenting as your BFF
POV: You meet an ugly guy somewhere (usually a club, a community group you’re both involved in, or even online) and he latches on like a leech the moment you make contact with him. He’ll offer to take you out to restaurants on his dime, no strings attached. He’ll buy you gifts (but just as friends) as a pretext to hang out with you more. He’ll text you. Every. Single. Day. The texts will consist of a “Hi” or “Hey” with no substance to follow, a poor attempt at low-key flirting. He was so nice and generous towards you, though, that you feel you should at least offer an equally shallow “hey, what’s up?” in return. The onslaught of nothingness continues for a few more exchanges with a “not much, hbu?” until he sends the text he intended all along: “What are you doing today? Or, “what are you doing this weekend?” And this is where it all begins. The point where he slowly worms his way into your personal space and attempts to poke a hole through your boundaries.
He’ll be super friendly and upbeat towards you all the time, constantly gushing over how amazing you are, yada yada. He’ll also be super interested in everything that interests you. And conveniently enough, he emphasizes that he only wants to be your friend! So you should hang out with him all the time because, hey, no worries! He’s just looking to be your friend! It won’t take long before he reveals his true self to you, though. The more desperate an undercover coomer like this is, the more impatient he is, too.
I’ve encountered this persona a few times throughout my life. What struck me first about this group of undercover coomers was their exceptionally unattractive appearances and personalities. Which one came first though, the chicken or the egg? Did their unsightly physical appearance cause others to constantly reject them, which they internalized? Or were their personalities so horrendous from the start that their outward goblin and blubberfish appearances are simply a reflection of their putrid characters? It certainly makes you wonder. My honest opinion is the latter.
Women aren’t as visual of creatures as men. That is a scientifically replicated fact in too many studies to list. Plenty of unfortunate looking men have managed to snatch attractive women throughout the centuries (Benjamin Franklin, anyone?). So clearly the issue with ugly men isn’t simply their looks.
It’s the insecurities and nonexistent personalities, coupled with the desperate coomer attempts at ingratiating themselves in every waking moment of your life, that truly vex. Instead of focusing on building traits and skills that will make him more attractive in personality, the undercover coomer internalizes his unfortunate appearance and renders himself a slave to it. He surrenders entirely to this concept and resorts to a life of servitude to women who might throw him a morsel of false hope from time to time. It always fails.
Let me give you a very clear example. One of these undercover coomers, in an attempt to score with a female acquaintance, proceeded to spend every waking moment with her “as friends.” He’d pamper her with sickeningly sweet affection whenever she was feeling badly about herself. He was always trying (desperately) to be “the best friend” she could confide in about anything. He’d buy her food, spend all the money on vacations for them, and massage her feet (big red flag there). Meanwhile, this female acquaintance was already in a relationship with another guy! That being said, how desperate must you be to subject yourself to such obsequious behavior at the nearly nonexistent chance of scoring with a chick who is already taken!? You may be wondering what this girl had to say about him after all the money and attention he bequeathed to her. “He looks like a mangled baked potato.”
You may want to believe that this coomer is simply a victim of such an attention-seeking woman who herself is not that great of a person. While the girl mentioned in this situation was indeed capitalizing on his desperation while also being unfaithful to her own partner, the undercover coomer is also effectively attempting to capitalize on her in a moment of weakness. Swarming around her like a pesky mosquito day to day, he takes any opportunity he can to shoot his shot when the moment seems just right. In reality, he is the manipulator and she is merely the karma he reaps from what he sows. Here’s a perfect depiction of this scenario from a comic strip.
If you want an even more defined example of a desperate undercover coomer taking advantage of a woman in this way, let’s backtrack to the first two paragraphs of this section where I mention my personal experience. This guy hit me up on Instagram one day out of the blue and proceeded to bombard me with messages like, “Hey, saw you on Twitch…” or “I saw you on this site and wanted to be friends!” I ignored him because, yuck. Who actually asks to be friends with someone in this way? Friendship is supposed to flow as naturally as a river over time. You don’t just get to barge into someone’s life and say, “Hey! You there! Let’s be friends starting now because I want to!” That screams entitlement to me.
Women have been taught since we were children to be wary of this kind of guy, because it’s obvious he’s not doing this just from the kindness of his heart. He has other motives behind those ostensibly “friendly” gestures. While it may not be obvious to someone as oblivious as these undercover coomers, women see the bullshit almost immediately. Such was the case here.
Months went by, and he continued to message me every other week to see if I’d give him a morsel of attention. The good ol’ prod and poke and annoy maneuver. He stalked my Twitch live stream one day when I was publicly announcing my breakup with a long time partner. While in this emotionally vulnerable state, undercover coomer showed up unannounced on my stream, handed out one subscription (about a $5 donation) as a way to grab my attention, and disingenuously offered to help me “in any way he could.” He begged to hang out with me that night as a way to “comfort me in my time of need” and for “no other reason than to help as a friend.”
He took complete advantage of my vulnerable state. I hesitantly agreed to meet him in a public mall that night to get my mind off everything for a few hours. He failed utterly to start a proper conversation with me upon meeting (despite his incessant attempts online in my DMs to do just that). I was forced to carry the weight of the conversation, which is precisely what someone who is emotionally distraught from a breakup and is meeting a stranger doesn’t want to do.
He took me out to a restaurant. I listened to him pour his heart out to me about his problems, his suffering, the entire dining experience. I suddenly felt like dinner was a pittance for this drawn out therapy session. Before I made my escape that night, he revealed his true intentions all along. “Wow, you look so pretty. Like, even without makeup and while crying. You’re just naturally pretty.” Ok, coomer. I left him that night feeling even more confused about this situation and not at all comforted.
He started texting me afterwards. Every. Day. Keep in mind, I just broke up with a man I cared deeply for. My heart was bleeding and my mind buzzing in my newfound state of uncertainty and confusion. I started pushing myself to focus on what I wanted to accomplish in my life and what I needed to do to get there as a way to distract myself from the emotional pain. Meanwhile what does this undercover coomer do? Bombard me with his bullshit. Everyday.
“Hey, what are you doing?” “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” “Hey, I bought you an ice cream maker! Want me to stop by and drop it off for you?” “Oh, you’re upset so you want to be left alone? Want me to come over and cheer you up?” The dearth in social-emotional intelligence truly astounded me.
The lack of self-awareness and the severe level of self-absorption infuriated me like nothing else. Despite telling him to give me space and not text me so goddamned frequently, he continued to barrage me with texts. I finally had to block him on everything just to pry him off me. Wouldn’t you know he had the gall to call me toxic when I told him I was blocking him on everything! I, the toxic person? Nay, barging into someone else’s life, capitalizing on their vulnerable, emotional state to intrude their space, and forcing a meetup under false pretenses to coerce a friendship that will hopefully lead to you scoring, is toxic as hell. Oh, and he looked like a toad with Down Syndrome. Is that a reflection of his weak personality? One hundred percent.
While the aforementioned cases are certainly alarming in-your-face red flag cases, this particular one is the most subtly manipulative and therefore the most pernicious the longer it’s dragged out. Pretending to be a girl’s friend as an attempt to get laid or start a secret relationship with her is creepy. It destroys a woman’s trust in building real, platonic relationships with men. P.S. it never works. So do us ladies a favor, coomers, and get your act together before you spew your unwarranted bullshit on us. And maybe, like all the other stupid Beavises and ugly Buttheads of the world, you’ll finally be able to score.