Annoying people have that subtly prodding and poking nature to them that at first only slightly irritates—like that of a persistent fly or mosquito hovering around you on a hot day—but, compounded over time, can transform you, the unwilling recipient, into quite the impressive hothead or hermit. It’s therefore important to learn how to deal with the most irritating types in the healthiest ways possible. To save your sanity from losing its grip and exploding (or imploding, depending on your personality type), it’s best to identify the types of people who irk you the most, and seek out the most effective ways to deal with each type of nuisance.
In no specific order, here is a list of the Types of annoying people, why they are the way they are, and what we can do about them to better brace ourselves against their constant testing of our patience.
The Complainer
We’ve all had to endure the person who seemingly can’t do anything but complain about the world and people around them. Day in and day out, there is something The Complainer must grumble, moan, or gripe about. It’s almost as if this type of annoying person finds catharsis in releasing their pent up frustrations in the form of complaints. Sometimes the complaints are warranted, most times they’re insignificant and irritating to everyone. As the complaints pile up, our patience and tolerance for them dwindle in an inverse correlation until we can no longer stand to even be around this type of person.
Why: Why is a Complainer such a complainer? They learned growing up that all they needed to do was complain to others to get what they wanted. A worn out, tired and/or enabling type of parent, seeking a moment’s peace in the household, relents to The Complainer’s constant griping by providing them with that which relieves them of their barrage of complaints, inevitably reinforcing their behavior. The Complainer learns with time that they can simply complain about everything in order to get relief from it through others. This is a very self-destructive type of annoying person. Their learned behavior to complain as a means to get what they ultimately want inevitably affects their attitude, transforming them into habitually negative-minded individuals. Habitually negative attitudes lead to even more negative behavior—in this case, in the form of complaining—and the cycle continues in a positive feedback loop system . This self-perpetuating cycle cannot cease to exist until The Complainer learns to act and react differently to their environment and daily circumstances.
What We Can Do About The Complainer: To save your own sanity and prevent falling into The Complainer’s trap of being the recipient of their constant barrage of complaints, you must not positively reinforce their behavior.
Positive reinforcement in Psychology is the act of supporting a specific type of action or behavior through rewards. Whenever you appease The Complainer by providing them with exactly what they want when they complain, you are reinforcing their bickering nature, subconsciously teaching them that if they complain, they will get what they want from you. You must deter their complaining nature instead through negative reinforcement, removing a positive reward from them—in this case, your listening and appeasement of their complaints—in order to stop them from continuing this highly irritating behavior. The next time you find yourself caught in the middle of The Complainer’s tirade of endless bickering, simply walk away and ignore them. This will teach them that if they want you to do something for them, they’ll need to approach you in a healthier, more productive—and far less annoying—way. You’re doing yourself, and them, a favor when you do.
The Braggart
The pretentious nature of The Braggart subtly gnaws at our sanity with each unbearable conversation we have with them, centered solely around themselves. At first conversation, you may find The Braggart to be a source of inspiration as you listen to how ‘successful’ or ‘smart’ or ‘super talented’ they are about their endeavors. But with time, perhaps even in that initial conversation, you realize that the only prowess and intellect they possess is the one to have initially fooled you of all their wild achievements. Once you discover their true windbag nature—that their badges of honor and achievements they’ve prattled on and on about are nothing more than blowing wind—you grow resentful of the time squandered listening to a hopeless achiever who is incapable of separating their dreamed up self-image from their underachieving, real one.
Why: What leads a person on the futile path—futile, because no one stays to listen to them for too long—of The Braggart? Low self-esteem from lack of motivation and achievement is one reason. Another, according to renowned author of The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene, is selfishness:
“Words have a place, but too much talk will generally break the spell, heightening surface differences and weighing things down. People who talk a lot often talk about themselves. They have never acquired that inner voice that wonders, Am I boring you? To be a Windbag is to have a deep-rooted selfishness.”
Looked at from this perspective, it’s only rational to assume that people who can only talk about themselves are incapable of caring for anyone but themselves. And that is essentially a fact about the Braggart with which you must come to terms: In any given situation, their self-interests will always supersede yours. That doesn’t make for a good friend or individual, now does it?
In a nutshell, The Braggart is nothing but bullshit fluff that has puffed itself into meaning—for a brief, passing time. Their self-centeredness and assuredly selfishness render them unsociable. Despite all the airy, self-enhancing words they pair themselves with when bragging to others in the desperate hope that one of them will actually stick, The Braggart is nothing more than a self-centered underachiever in denial. You’re simply wasting your time listening to and believing what they have to say about themselves.
What We Can Do About The Braggart:
The Braggart has a lot of self-esteem and egocentric issues to work out with themself. That is not the responsibility of their begrudging listeners. Perhaps speaking with a professional therapist can relieve them of their deep-rooted issues. If you are not a professional psychologist, there is nothing you can do about The Braggart’s incessant boasting except nod a few times in conversation and find an exit, lest you be stuck listening to their prideful drivel for hours on end. You could also call them out on their bullshit, every time they start a monologue about themselves, but I’ve seen where that goes in the long run: nowhere but the burrows of their subconscious, to be willfully forgotten.
The Negative Nancy
A little rain in our lives every now and then is good and healthy. It keeps things in perspective. It prevents us from taking big risks with little reward due to an overly sunny perspective. Think of literal rain in driving conditions: speeding on highways during fresh rainfall is a huge life-threatening risk with very little reward: you may get to the store or back home ten to fifteen minutes earlier, but at what risk and at what cost? Is the high risk and cost of injuring and killing others and yourself on the freshly rained on road worth it to save ten to fifteen minutes of your commute time?
Negative perspectives on high-risk low-reward matters like driving on a freshly rained on road is one thing. A constant, chronic negative outlook and mindset on every matter is a whole other situation.
The issue with a Negative Nancy is that he or she looks through rainy glasses on a daily basis. Literally everything is viewed in a negative light for the Negative Nancy. Nothing is worth doing out of one’s comfort zone when the outlook always looks bleak and pointless. That is why a Negative Nancy’s lifestyle is as disappointing and disillusioned as their own thought processes. Through a self-fulfilling prophecy backed by the “What’s the point? Everything sucks” mentality, Negative Nancies dig a deeper and deeper Hole of Discontent for themselves and anyone else nearby they can drag in with them. Misery likes company, after all.
If Negative Nancies resorted to negative thoughts only to themselves, that would be one thing. But they spread their negative thoughts onto others like an infectious disease. With enough exposure, others will start viewing the world similarly to that of a Negative Nancy, corroding their optimism into sheer hopelessness. As Joe Rogan put it, “Negative people are cancer.”
Forget Negative People – Joe Rogan
Managing risk is fruitful; avoiding risk, and therefore reward, entirely because of a chronic, negative outlook on life is a death sentence on your soul.
Why: Why are chronically negative people so negative? My guess is that they grew up too fearful of risk-taking. Perhaps their Negative Nancy parents always focused on negative outcomes instead of positive ones, and taught their children the same. Perhaps they were always sheltered growing up, and so they never left their comfort zones, which ultimately led them to a no-risk no-reward lifestyle. This in turn led them to see the world as disappointing and non-rewarding, which further reinforced their already negative mindset.
Negative Nancy mindsets can also be triggered due to depression from external factors and circumstances. In a bad economy or corrupted political climate, it can be too easy to see nothing but the bleakness of those current realities. Unless one takes risks, puts themselves out there in the open in uncomfortable situations to change the current situation into something better, there is seemingly no hope for correction and improvement. This is what keeps a Negative Nancy forever in a self-perpetuating feedback loop: there is seemingly no reward on the other side based on their corrupted outlook, so the Negative Nancy doesn’t even bother to act for positive change. Their refusal to act digs them deeper into their self-constructed Hole of Discontent. And the cycle continues forevermore. They will continue looking only at the dark half of the planet, when the other half is soaked in sunlight.
What to do About the Negative Nancy: I don’t want to illustrate all cases of annoying people as hopeless, but the Negative Nancy is one of the most difficult to change, simply because their pernicious mindset leads to inaction and impotence. To correct that mindset takes years of therapy for them to get to the root of their issues.
An exceptional individual who can tolerate a Negative Nancy’s constant negativity could miraculously lead them on a more lighted path through demonstration and perseverance. But what’s more likely to happen is the infiltration and infection of their negativity onto you if you stay too close to them. That negativity is so insidious you won’t see it coming until it’s already gnawed away at you.
Confronting the Negative Nancy about their pessimism is a start (“You should learn to see things in a more positive light”), but providing them with a rewarding incentive for action is best (“Maybe you just need to talk about these negative thoughts with a professional. They could help get to the root cause and help you get back on track. Here’s a therapist I recommend…”).
The Naysayer
The best way to crush someone’s dreams and aspirations is to introduce them to a Naysayer. The Naysayer is my least favorite of all annoying types of people for this exact reason. Rather than just rain on your parade like a Negative Nancy, or complain to the point of saturation by The Complainer, or make your ears bleed from the nauseating self-promotion of The Braggart, the Naysayer goes directly for your life goals and dreams.
“You cannot” are the two most destructive words to one’s self-esteem and happiness. And Naysayers are far too happy to offer up these words to others without second thought of their insidious effects. How many people dreamed up an ideal version of themselves, only to be scoffed at and told that it was impossible for them to achieve? How many disheartened adults grew up to be that way, unknowingly, because they were reared to believe they couldn’t when they definitely could have? How many people do we know in this world today whose souls were crushed once they sold their souls to the stagnant office life, chained to their desks, damned to an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle, locked indoors away from sunshine and opportunity, when they personally craved the excitement of exploration or the exhilaration from taking a risk to pave their own way in life through their passions? We all know far too many people with this ensconced lifestyle. Most were victims of The Naysayers.
Why: What leads a Naysayer to crush someone else’s dream? Believe it or not, the dream crushing isn’t The Naysayer incentive. Rather, the Naysayer simply believes things are more often impossible than possible.
They never took any risk in their lives or worked diligently towards a goal they strove to achieve. Whenever they did strive towards something, they gave up too quickly on it. They never learned to never give up. They grew up learning that getting a job to afford things was the end goal. Work was work, not something pleasant to dive into and obsess over. They never had a passion for something, and they never deemed something too important to disregard for the sake of a monotonous, normie lifestyle.
The Naysayer is a perpetual follower of the societal norms they willingly chain themselves to in the hopes of “fitting into society.” For them, it’s better to be a boring but secure follower than a standout albeit standalone leader. Even worse, they feel the need to express this narrow minded perspective as loudly as they can whenever someone they know expresses the slightest interest in pursuing an unorthodox career path or, gasp, aims to strive for their dreams.
What We Can Do About The Naysayer:
The solution to dealing with my most abhorred annoying person is also my absolute favorite one. The best way to completely silence a Naysayer is to simply prove them wrong.
The best way to prove to them that achieving something great is possible, is by going out and doing the seemingly impossible. Make them eat their own words and relish in the aftermath it instills in them.
This is obviously one of those examples of easier said than done. It is a simplified proposal for a matter that can, in reality, take years to accomplish. But the longer it takes to prove them wrong, the more flavorful the reward. Don’t let the Naysayer mentality become ingrained in your belief system. Let their mentality be the “push” you need to put all your chips on the table, act on the pursuit of your dreams, and never look back. You will be happiest when you do.